American Idol Jumps the Shark

The announcement of Lee Dewyze as the American Idol rang as loudly and true as Fonzie on a pair of skis. A travesty of a decision, it culminated a season of of truly awful moments. When Lilly, among others, were left at the starting gate, failing to make the top 12, the sniff of doom lurked about. In every case, except for perhaps Crystal and Siobhan, the American people chose the blander of the competitors.

Simon slept walked through the season, Randy was dawged out, Kara was uninspiring, and Ellen seemed mostly lost. Unique and clever song choices were few and far between. Product placement dominated and made me feel like I was watching one long commercial.

So why fight or care about this tired, old program? Because there are damn few things that Americans hold in common enough to talk about any more. Our moments of social symmetry are becoming fewer and fewer. It sounds trite, but it's a water cooler show that brings diverse people together to share commentary and common experience. In this day of multi-hundred channel televisions, an Internet with millions of choices, cell phones that in my opinion are actually driving us apart instead of together, it is refreshing to have something that everybody can talk about.

So rather than abandon it altogether, I would like to discuss some possible solutions. If it is at all technologically possible, they need to do what they can to enforce limited voting. It is ridiculous to try to have a fair contest when tweeners are sending their phones into robo-call overdrive. Let's use technology to limit each phone to only a small number of calls. With repeat voting eliminated, we might get a fairer representation of an Idol.

Secondly, let's increase judge input, as they do in Dancing with the Stars. Include mentor(s) each week who specialize in the area of music being highlighted that week. Have the judges and mentors rank each of the contestants, average the ranks, and then blend it in with the public vote.

Thirdly, have only two regular judges, and then rotate in one to three judges. The panel and opinion will look fresh and different every time.

Fourth, cut the product placement crap - you're already making enough money. cut the inside jokes - I don't care what Kara and Ryan might be smirking about.

Fifth, improve the song selection. I don't know if the problem is the list of songs they have to choose from, or if the contestants are trying too much to play it safe. Some songs should be retired, virtually anything by Whitney Houston, for example. I so wished that Shioban would have tooken on Roy Orbison, or done Live and Let die in McCartney week.

So help with other suggestions here. If you have other ideas to help other shows become water cooler shows, let me know those too.

Thanks America, for rewarding Captain Pitchy. May we do better in the future.