Hansel EXPOSED!

Where did the community theatre hamwich you see before you come from? When did the bug bite the shy guy and turn him into a lion onstage? Why does this fever burn within him, the whiffing highs from feeling an audience respond?

It began with Childcraft. I would make the stories I would read from the Children's Encyclopedia of stories and fables come to life. The viney tree in the corner became the centerpiece for Jack in the Beanstalk. The sandbox would be surrounded by a mote. I would search the backyard an a mop handle, galloping to defeat the dragon and rescue the Princess.

When we moved to Bridgeport, Michigan and we got three channels instead of one, my mind exploded with the possibilities. I would perform my own TV schedules around the house. At 4 PM it might be Combat, featuring G.I. Tom's death struggle against the evil Nazi scientist, Baron Von Tom. Then at 4:15, Tarzan and the Jungle Boat Cruise where you dare not let your hand dangle off the sofa lest it get et by a 25 foot crocodile. And on it went, with spies and cowboys and astronauts.

By first grade, it was discovered that I could read very well, and that when I read out loud, it was with emotional inflection and individual characterization. In second grade, this little advantage helped me out in tryouts for our class play. To my amazement, and my parents, I was given the lead, Hansel in Hansel and Gretel.

I don't remember much about the rehearsals, except the costuming was a bear (some kind of weird tights or something), and you had to do a lot of bending to put down bed crumbs. I guess I did okay . I sure don't remember the teacher yelling at me a lot.

The big day came, and the class was filled with parents and spectators. I was so proud. They were all just waiting to see what kind of phenomenal job I could do. My Childcraft plays and TV shows had no audience. Just my Mom interrupting me to do my chores or that it was time for supper. This had to be the biggest moment of my little young life.

The play started . Everyone was into it. I was saying my lines like a pro. Then it came time to put down the breadcrumbs. As I bent down, there was a huge ripping sound. Then thunderous gales of laughter. I got up from bending, I had no idea what was going on. So I bent down again. And felt a breeze. The back of my tights had ripped to shreds. I had been mooning the entire audience.

Some fast stitching was done, the play went on, and I did not bend down again. The play mercifully ended and my petrified mother got me home. School went on. People laughed, but I don't remember being picked on for it. Most kids probably thought it was pretty damn cool.

So after that, why would ever go onstage again? I don't know. I can't fully explain it. Even with everything that went wrong, there was just something about it that made me feel alive. Heck, maybe even the explosion of laughter helped encourage me in some bizarre way. Just making people feel something, sharing emotions, it's something I keep coming back to again and again.

Since then, I have made countless mistakes in the theatre, from breaking furniture to missed exits, from coming out in the wrong costume to forgotten lines. But, somehow, the magic keeps drawing me back. And I wouldn't miss it for the world.


Curtains Up!