Making the Time

Bridgeport High School's premiere actress and myself, performing my Junior year in the play David and Lisa, about teenagers in a mental asylum.  Lisa, in a child like state is threatening to touch David, an OCD neurotic who doesn't like to be touched.

Barb Bloomfield provided quite the inspiration to me when I was in high school.  She was the consummate actress, but that was only the beginning of her talents and abilities.  She was an oboe player in the school band, one of it's leading and most accomplished musicians on a band that won nation wide competitions.  She was an all A student, at or near the top of her class.  And she was the girl next door, actually in the house right across the street from me.

She was a crush and an inspiration.  My grades in my Freshman year were abysmal, but I figured if she could get good grades, I could get them, too. I looked across the street at her room, and could see that see her light was on, as she was up late studying.  Well, I could do that, too.

My grades improved, but it was a real chore.  I liked TV.  I liked reading.  I liked distractions.  But I struggled to keep up, in the desperate hope that it would make an impression on her.

Finally, the frustration and exhaustion of trying to keep pace got to me.  I asked her, "How do you find the time to do all the things you do?"

I'll never forget her answer.  She looked at me with a kind of cold anger and said, "I don't find the time.  I make it."

We only went out twice.  One time to see a Barbara Streisand movie (she adored her, and Barb's singing style was very similar to her), and the other to see Barefoot In the Park, which was in preparation for our both being in a high school production of it.  She didn't go out with me anymore.  She decided that she couldn't get past the fact that I was a "playmate' of her younger brother, Randy.  C'est la vie.

But I couldn't forget the answer she gave.  I couldn't forget it, because it angered me so.  I felt like it was such an arrogant answer given in such an angry, self-servient tone.  We all have the same hours available to us.  We don't "make" time.

And now, year later, I find myself having second thoughts.  I get questions all the time about how I find the time to do the writing and acting that I do, given that I am a CPA, particularly when it's tax season.  It's tempting to come out swinging and say "I don't find the time, I make the time."

In a way, I do.  I discipline myself to write every morning, even if it means getting up at 5:20 AM to do it.  I organize the time I have to do things that are most important to me, and to my family.  It's not always easy, but I can't imagine facing life without getting the chance to do those things.

My job is probably not quite what you think it is.  I am not the entrepreneur, and the time that I am required to work is limited.  With my 10% retirement I started a year or so ago, I work roughly 36 hours a week when it's not tax season, and about 50 hours a week when it is.  Many of you have jobs that work many more hours than that.

I love my hobbies, including writing and acting, reading and watching TV/movies, and it's not so much that I "make the time".  But I do arrange things so that I can keep up with those interests.  

My belated apologies, Barb.  I still may not completely agree, but at least now I have a better understanding of what you were trying to say.

We can't all be like Barb.  Many of us just don't have the stamina or drive.  But even if you can't "make time", do look at your schedule and try to carve out a piece of it for the things you love to do, and the people you love to be with.