Joining the Righteous Brigade

Congratulations, Arkansas!

You stand on the verge of joining your Indiana brethren in the great righteous brigade!

That will be two states with religious freedom laws with real bite.  Laws that will allow Christians to express their views and judgements freely, even in the open marketplace.

Can Georgia be far behind?  Why, I'm surprised it's taken us this long!  Usually we're number one on the religious rights hit parade!

And when that glorious day finally comes to Georgia, I can at last open my own storefront, Strait Pies for Straights.

But wait!  Why stop there?  That's just the tip of the iceberg when making our Lord's favors clear.

You say you're not a Christian?  That indeed you are some kind of atheist scum?  STAY OUT OF MY STORE!

You are living with someone unmarried and in a state of sin?  YOU'RE NOT WELCOME!

You've voted for Democrats, and have not repented, especially that foreign-born Muslim tyrant, BayRock Hussein Obama?  WHY ARE YOU EVEN DARKENING MY DOOR?

You rotate your crops the wrong way?  You wear mixed fabrics?  You say you ate shrimp last night?  GET THEE AWAY FROM MY STORE, YOU SATANIC ABOMINATIONS!!!

Do you lend people money and then charge interest?  Do you make a living by exploiting the poor and disadvantaged? What's the matter with you?  Usury is the most mentioned sin in the bible! NO PIE FOR YOU!

Adulterous?  Lecherous?  A gambler or a drug addict?  If you are actively committing these and other sins, and have not restored yourself to a state of grace, then YOU ARE NOT WELCOME.

Have you ever been divorced?  KEEP OUT!

Wait.

I've been divorced.  I voted four times for Obama.  I bought a lottery ticket last month.  I ate a shrimp a awhile back. There are some doubts among the Christian Right as to whether my denomination of Episcopalians even count as Christian.

CRAP!  I can't even get into my own store.

I look in the windows of my store, and I see there's no one in there.  Nobody.  No staff, no customers. Nobody and nothing.

I look down at the sidewalk and I see a stone.

I pick it up, but there's no one left to throw it at.

Just me.