The Longest Break: Keeping Your Distance 40

Hello.

I've been away for a while.  I've taken about my longest break in several years from posting a new blog entry or even posting blog entries to social media.  The only breaks that have been longer were when I was on vacation. 

I've been involved in a min-tax season that concluded yesterday.  It's not like the old days, but it did require me to get up early and get going instead of writing something.    I find I write best in the mornings.  As the day wears on, so does my cognitive attention.

When I go to write, I am so often filled with rage about Trump, I find it hard to concentrate on something else.  I had an excellent idea for a funny, nostalgic story, but I lost it when I failed to note anything about it, and the crush of other concerns evaporated it from my noggin.  If I ever get it back, I will note it on my magic phone device, and then wax nostalgic about it on what I am sure will be an award-winning blog post.

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I had my vitals recorded in a wellness check last Friday.  Given my wandering away from a strict diet regiment that I was doing the first three months of the year, my numbers were pleasantly better than I was expecting.  I am hoping that when Benjamin goes back to school, my diet will improve, and Alison and I can support each other in our efforts.  We'll see.  I do love me some cookies.

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COVID-19 is coming closer and closer.  Two people at my work had to test because they were exposed to positive relatives.  One had the results come back negative, and the other is still waiting for results, and it's been almost TWO WEEKS. 

We know of four people in the last few weeks of massive heart attacks, at least two of which were COVID-19 related.  Our beloved Reverand Kit lost her brother to the virus.  A man who lives two doors down from us is in ICU.

All this is happening while I have to listen to people tell me this is no worse than the common cold, and we go to the grocery store where only about a quarter of the people are wearing masks.

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How am I doing?  Okay.  My diet has relaxed, but I have kept up with exercise.  My health has been pretty good, and any depression has been short-lived and not too deep. 

I am an introvert.  That has had its pluses and minuses.  I don't miss other people as much as some of y'all do.  I miss that we were not able to go to Michigan and that I have not been able to visit with Doug and Paige.  But honestly, I don't miss meetings of organizations, and I have not had the craving to be in a play as much as I thought I might.

I have to attend a monthly meeting on ZOOM for our church vestry.  I'm the Treasurer, and they're hard for me to miss.  I don't connect in a way where they can see me, so they all think I'm naked or something.  I don't like to talk, except for the Treasurer's Report.

The big problem is that this plays into my introversion too much.  The more I am away from people, the shyer I get, and the less I like to talk.  It takes me a long time to get comfortable with people.  That's why I like to be in plays - after a few weeks, I start to open up and feel like I fit in.  Most of the time, I don't feel like I'm worthy - that most people are superior to me.

Anyways, that withdrawn nature I have is amplified by what is going on.  Plus, I'm 65 now, and I've found I really like being at home.

It's hard to say what I'm going to be like when this is over (don't hold your breath).  I may be less participatory than I was before.  I might be more.  Hard to say.

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I have a lot more thoughts, as disjointed as they may be.  But I'll save those for another post.

Hopefully, the break between them won't be as long.