Flash Fiction: I Read the News Today

 

I read the news today.

Well. I read some headlines on my phone. I had a choice between several sources.  Which one you picked depended mostly on which billionaire you liked best. 

They all pretty much said the same thing.  Explaining in great detail why Greenland should be a part of the United States.

One billionaire said it should be for national security.  He had many military contracts with the United States.

Another billionaire said it should be to gain the oil resources under the permafrost.  The implication was that Greenland would become more valuable as global warming melted its glaciers.

Yet another was a tech bro, and coveted the abundance of rare earth elements - once again, under the melting permafrost.

Finally, one was a real estate mogul who saw it as an opportunity for development.  It helped that he was also the son of a former President of the United States.

I wondered who lived there and what they thought.

For that, I would have to read deeper.  I wasn't going to do that. Too much time.  I had other stuff to do. I had to get to my second job. Help earn enough to keep the family afloat amid our rising bills.

I thought about stopping at Chick-fil-A for a morning biscuit.  But I didn't want to spend $12.99 to get that.  I could eat after work.  Esmerelda, my beautiful partner, was a whiz with PB & J.  If she had any time between her three jobs.

I arrived at Hobby Lobby at 6 AM, just in time for my morning shift: stocking, cleaning, and preparing sales merchandise for the store's 9 AM opening.  Today was going to feature a special on the Twin figurines - Jesus blessing his representative on Earth, President Vance.

There was also a display honoring our dedicated immigration enforcement agency, ICE.  Last year, this day was declared National ICE Recognition Day, where we celebrated their vigilant protection of our borders and saving us from the wrath of the evil and illegal aliens.

Not all the aliens were deported, of course.  Many remained in camps, and as prisoners, supplying their labor to farmers and hotel owners, and maintaining the yards and homes of our beneficiaries of the Prosperity Gospel. I had a friend tell me this was just a modern form of slavery.  We had no follow-up conversations.  He was sent to a re-education camp.  We had a lot of camps.  None that I would want to go to, though.

My two workmates, Marvin and Matilda, and I worked hard and got the store in order with fifteen minutes to spare.  We thought we could take a few minutes to relax, but the manager told us to re-clean the windows.  Again.  For the third time this morning.

The doors opened.

The crowd came in.

They were very white.

As usual.

It's another great day in the Kingdom!

All hail President Vance and his lovely spouse, Vice-President Kirk-Vance!