Gabby Johnson: "I wash born here, an I wash raished here, and dad gum it, I am gonna die here, an no sidewindin' bushwackin', hornswagglin' cracker croaker is gonna rouin me bishen cutter."
Olsen Johnson: [after Gabby Johnson's speech] "Now who can argue with that? I think we're all indebt to Gabby Johnson for stating what needed to be said. I am particulary glad that these lovely children are here today to hear that speech. Not only was it authentic frontier gibberish, it expressed the courage little seen in this day and age. "
Quotes from one of my all-time favorite movies, Blazing Saddles.
What was it that turned people away from President Obama? Was it the Tarp, that President Bush and his brethren put into to place, but the President modified so that we got virtually all of it back? Was it the Stimulus that helped prevent a worldwide depression, even though it was weakened by almost half going to ineffective tax cuts that he had to put in in order to mollycoddle Republicans and Blue dogs? Was it the way he cut and run in Afghanistan - wait - I'm sorry - he hasn't done that. Was it bailing out GM, a plan that worked, saving a million plus jobs? Was it that monstrous health care reform, which - how awful - will give millions greater access to the health care market, protect you from being cut off because of job loss or preexisting conditions, extending insurance coverage to your children up to 26 AND cutting at least $138 billion from the deficit?
I believe it wasn't any of these things. I believe it was the Blazing Saddles moment. To wit, please indulge in one more quote from the movie. and be prepared - it will be offensive.
[Gabby Johnson sees the sheriff riding into town] Gabby Johnson: Hey! The sheriff's a nig... [Clock bell chimes] Harriet Johnson: What did he say? Dr. Sam Johnson: He said the sheriff's near. Gabby Johnson: No, gone blame it dang blammit! The sheriff is a nig...
Yes, that's right. The moment that I believe that President Obama descended in the polls, mid to late summer 2009, had nothing to do with public policy. It had to do with independent white voters getting their Blazing Saddles moment, when they suddenly realized that the sheriff riding into town was a ...ni...
They always knew he was African American, but that didn't bother them. After all, one of the most popular figures in the country was Colin Powell. No it was the waking up to what they THOUGHT that meant was what changed things. And that moment was...THE BEER SUMMIT.
At the tail end of a press conference meant to highlight the urgency of passing health care reform, President Obama brought the wrongness in a Cambridge cop losing his cool and arresting a distinguished African American Harvard Professor, Someone President Obama knew and respected. He clearly thought, in what he considered moderate tones, that the policeman over-reacted. And clearly, by all objective measures, he had. But that's not what white America heard. What they heard was....Gabby Johnson.
After that, it didn't matter what President Obama did. A man who had so assiduously avoided racial issues had suddenly, if you'll please forgive, fallen into the Briar patch. And the Beer Summit, instead of patching it up, only highlighted even more to that small but electorally determinative batch of independent white voters.
So, something that I consider a minor incident has now helped determined the fate of the entire world, as the one man who could pull us out of this mess is looked down upon simply for this awakening moment.
Please indulge me in one more quote.
Jim: [consoling Bart] "What did you expect? "Welcome, sonny"? "Make yourself at home"? "Marry my daughter"? You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons."
Friday, November 19, 2010
Friday, November 12, 2010
Hansel EXPOSED!
Where did the community theatre hamwich you see before you come from? When did the bug bite the shy guy and turn him into a lion onstage? Why does this fever burn within him, the whiffing highs from feeling an audience respond?
It began with Childcraft. I would make the stories I would read from the Children's Encyclopedia of stories and fables come to life. The viney tree in the corner became the centerpiece for Jack in the Beanstalk. The sandbox would be surrounded by a mote. I would search the backyard an a mop handle, galloping to defeat the dragon and rescue the Princess.
When we moved to Bridgeport, Michigan and we got three channels instead of one, my mind exploded with the possibilities. I would perform my own TV schedules around the house. At 4 PM it might be Combat, featuring G.I. Tom's death struggle against the evil Nazi scientist, Baron Von Tom. Then at 4:15, Tarzan and the Jungle Boat Cruise where you dare not let your hand dangle off the sofa lest it get et by a 25 foot crocodile. And on it went, with spies and cowboys and astronauts.
By first grade, it was discovered that I could read very well, and that when I read out loud, it was with emotional inflection and individual characterization. In second grade, this little advantage helped me out in tryouts for our class play. To my amazement, and my parents, I was given the lead, Hansel in Hansel and Gretel.
I don't remember much about the rehearsals, except the costuming was a bear (some kind of weird tights or something), and you had to do a lot of bending to put down bed crumbs. I guess I did okay . I sure don't remember the teacher yelling at me a lot.
The big day came, and the class was filled with parents and spectators. I was so proud. They were all just waiting to see what kind of phenomenal job I could do. My Childcraft plays and TV shows had no audience. Just my Mom interrupting me to do my chores or that it was time for supper. This had to be the biggest moment of my little young life.
The play started . Everyone was into it. I was saying my lines like a pro. Then it came time to put down the breadcrumbs. As I bent down, there was a huge ripping sound. Then thunderous gales of laughter. I got up from bending, I had no idea what was going on. So I bent down again. And felt a breeze. The back of my tights had ripped to shreds. I had been mooning the entire audience.
Some fast stitching was done, the play went on, and I did not bend down again. The play mercifully ended and my petrified mother got me home. School went on. People laughed, but I don't remember being picked on for it. Most kids probably thought it was pretty damn cool.
So after that, why would ever go onstage again? I don't know. I can't fully explain it. Even with everything that went wrong, there was just something about it that made me feel alive. Heck, maybe even the explosion of laughter helped encourage me in some bizarre way. Just making people feel something, sharing emotions, it's something I keep coming back to again and again.
Since then, I have made countless mistakes in the theatre, from breaking furniture to missed exits, from coming out in the wrong costume to forgotten lines. But, somehow, the magic keeps drawing me back. And I wouldn't miss it for the world.
Curtains Up!
It began with Childcraft. I would make the stories I would read from the Children's Encyclopedia of stories and fables come to life. The viney tree in the corner became the centerpiece for Jack in the Beanstalk. The sandbox would be surrounded by a mote. I would search the backyard an a mop handle, galloping to defeat the dragon and rescue the Princess.
When we moved to Bridgeport, Michigan and we got three channels instead of one, my mind exploded with the possibilities. I would perform my own TV schedules around the house. At 4 PM it might be Combat, featuring G.I. Tom's death struggle against the evil Nazi scientist, Baron Von Tom. Then at 4:15, Tarzan and the Jungle Boat Cruise where you dare not let your hand dangle off the sofa lest it get et by a 25 foot crocodile. And on it went, with spies and cowboys and astronauts.
By first grade, it was discovered that I could read very well, and that when I read out loud, it was with emotional inflection and individual characterization. In second grade, this little advantage helped me out in tryouts for our class play. To my amazement, and my parents, I was given the lead, Hansel in Hansel and Gretel.
I don't remember much about the rehearsals, except the costuming was a bear (some kind of weird tights or something), and you had to do a lot of bending to put down bed crumbs. I guess I did okay . I sure don't remember the teacher yelling at me a lot.
The big day came, and the class was filled with parents and spectators. I was so proud. They were all just waiting to see what kind of phenomenal job I could do. My Childcraft plays and TV shows had no audience. Just my Mom interrupting me to do my chores or that it was time for supper. This had to be the biggest moment of my little young life.
The play started . Everyone was into it. I was saying my lines like a pro. Then it came time to put down the breadcrumbs. As I bent down, there was a huge ripping sound. Then thunderous gales of laughter. I got up from bending, I had no idea what was going on. So I bent down again. And felt a breeze. The back of my tights had ripped to shreds. I had been mooning the entire audience.
Some fast stitching was done, the play went on, and I did not bend down again. The play mercifully ended and my petrified mother got me home. School went on. People laughed, but I don't remember being picked on for it. Most kids probably thought it was pretty damn cool.
So after that, why would ever go onstage again? I don't know. I can't fully explain it. Even with everything that went wrong, there was just something about it that made me feel alive. Heck, maybe even the explosion of laughter helped encourage me in some bizarre way. Just making people feel something, sharing emotions, it's something I keep coming back to again and again.
Since then, I have made countless mistakes in the theatre, from breaking furniture to missed exits, from coming out in the wrong costume to forgotten lines. But, somehow, the magic keeps drawing me back. And I wouldn't miss it for the world.
Curtains Up!
Friday, November 5, 2010
Political Prediction Wrapup - The good, the Bad and the Horrible
Well, if you've followed my political prognostications, you may be wondering how I did. Hint: I'm keeping my day job.
First, the Good. I pretty much got spot on the Senate. I predicted a Republican of two to five, and I believe they got six. I also said only one to two of the Tea Party extremists would get through. The only real radical to win was Rand Paul (I guess it pays off to have your staff stomp a woman's head and to kidnap a woman and force her to worship a bong). You could make a case that Marco Rubio (Florida) and Ron Johnson (Wisconsin) are Tea Party candidates. I don't know, I really think they're more Republicans using the Tea Party label, but c'es la vie.
Second, the bad. I predicted the Tea Party, despite losing a great deal, would have their political prowess pumped up beyond their numbers by an over-excited MSM. And that has been exactly the case. CNN has been talking about them as if they were large and in charge, not like they'd lost over 60% of the races they competed for. As for whether or not the TeaParty, once they realized they don't have the clout they thought they would have, will turn to louder, more, shall we say, second amendment remedies, only time will tell.
Third, the horrible. Yes, I messed up the House prediction BIG TIME. My bad. At least my prediction was unique, right. Uniquely wrong, but striving to look at things differently sometimes makes you look like a genius, and sometimes you just look sad and vulnerable. Oh, well. Those few who commented on my prediction (all from facebook - although I'm working hard to make this blog a must-read site - so far it ain't been pretty) though I was indulging in wishful thinking. Well, it's all perspective, I guess, but I don't really see it that way.
My delusion wasn't wishful thinking, my delusion was Mr. Spock. I tried to look at things through cold, rational eyes, and I couldn't find a logical reason why that many districts would turn to the group that caused all the destruction in the first place.
On facebook, a few days before the election, I did revise my projection of losses to up to 33, which is still a puny number compared to the sixty-plus that occurred. I failed to fully realize the impact that a flood of Citizens United freed money would do. A combination of money from rich corporations and wealthy individuals and foreign powers (and yes, also money from TeaParty enthusiasts and social conservatives -but that money doesn't bother me - that's normal politics) overwhelmed the normal political process. And I forgot that most of these districts were gerrymandered by Republicans in 200o to favor Republicans - most of these districts just returned home to their beloved overseer.
I was correct that the districts lost would be overwhelmingly blue dog ConservaDems. Why vote for a fake Republican when you vote for a real one? The Progressive Caucus lost only a a couple of members (I will miss Alan Grayson - however, I must admit his Taliban Dan thing went too far). I also anticipated that the TeaParty would lose a lot.
There were a number of truly horrifying results. Probably the worst to me was Florida electing Rick Scott (involved in the largest Medicare fraud in history) for Governor. I'll discuss more later.
I don't know where Progressives go from here. I'm not really sure what happens to the country. I'm scared to the core. Just the climate change issue alone is making me lose sleep. But, I'll try to go more deeply into those topics in a future post. In the meantime, I would be very happy to see your comments, even from my conservative brethren.
First, the Good. I pretty much got spot on the Senate. I predicted a Republican of two to five, and I believe they got six. I also said only one to two of the Tea Party extremists would get through. The only real radical to win was Rand Paul (I guess it pays off to have your staff stomp a woman's head and to kidnap a woman and force her to worship a bong). You could make a case that Marco Rubio (Florida) and Ron Johnson (Wisconsin) are Tea Party candidates. I don't know, I really think they're more Republicans using the Tea Party label, but c'es la vie.
Second, the bad. I predicted the Tea Party, despite losing a great deal, would have their political prowess pumped up beyond their numbers by an over-excited MSM. And that has been exactly the case. CNN has been talking about them as if they were large and in charge, not like they'd lost over 60% of the races they competed for. As for whether or not the TeaParty, once they realized they don't have the clout they thought they would have, will turn to louder, more, shall we say, second amendment remedies, only time will tell.
Third, the horrible. Yes, I messed up the House prediction BIG TIME. My bad. At least my prediction was unique, right. Uniquely wrong, but striving to look at things differently sometimes makes you look like a genius, and sometimes you just look sad and vulnerable. Oh, well. Those few who commented on my prediction (all from facebook - although I'm working hard to make this blog a must-read site - so far it ain't been pretty) though I was indulging in wishful thinking. Well, it's all perspective, I guess, but I don't really see it that way.
My delusion wasn't wishful thinking, my delusion was Mr. Spock. I tried to look at things through cold, rational eyes, and I couldn't find a logical reason why that many districts would turn to the group that caused all the destruction in the first place.
On facebook, a few days before the election, I did revise my projection of losses to up to 33, which is still a puny number compared to the sixty-plus that occurred. I failed to fully realize the impact that a flood of Citizens United freed money would do. A combination of money from rich corporations and wealthy individuals and foreign powers (and yes, also money from TeaParty enthusiasts and social conservatives -but that money doesn't bother me - that's normal politics) overwhelmed the normal political process. And I forgot that most of these districts were gerrymandered by Republicans in 200o to favor Republicans - most of these districts just returned home to their beloved overseer.
I was correct that the districts lost would be overwhelmingly blue dog ConservaDems. Why vote for a fake Republican when you vote for a real one? The Progressive Caucus lost only a a couple of members (I will miss Alan Grayson - however, I must admit his Taliban Dan thing went too far). I also anticipated that the TeaParty would lose a lot.
There were a number of truly horrifying results. Probably the worst to me was Florida electing Rick Scott (involved in the largest Medicare fraud in history) for Governor. I'll discuss more later.
I don't know where Progressives go from here. I'm not really sure what happens to the country. I'm scared to the core. Just the climate change issue alone is making me lose sleep. But, I'll try to go more deeply into those topics in a future post. In the meantime, I would be very happy to see your comments, even from my conservative brethren.
Friday, October 29, 2010
When Ever I Wake Up
The cupboards were bleeding again. Looking up from the steam of my Randall's Cup-a-Soup, I could see the red drips seeping through the closed cabinet drawer and pooling on the counter top. My heart pounding, I pushed my chair back from the kitchen table and made my way to the cabinet.
Flinging the cabinet open, I saw on top of the white plastic dishes a severed forearm, still bleeding at the elbow. From just outside I heard the shuffling steps and quiet moan. I knew I would soon have a visitor.
The room temperature dropped twenty degrees, and I felt a presence, one that brought tears to my eyes and bile to my throat. And then I saw him, only inches from me, reaching towards me, the ghostly pale figure, the stench of rot almost making me faint.
He reached past me, and grabbed the arm. "Oh," he said, through a loosely hung, only partly flesh clad jaw. "I wondered where I had left that!"
It was then that recognition began to penetrate my hardened soul. It was my brother Andrew. He had died when I was only twelve and he was ten. A failed attempt to cross a bridge with a train behind us. I made it. He didn't. And here he was. But not as a child, but as a fully grown adult. Well, at least the parts that had not rotted off.
"Is that Randall's Cup-A-Soup?," he asked, as he tried to re-attach his arm, using a nearby stapler. "Damn! I even miss that! That's pathetic, ain't that the truth?"
The truth was, this was not the first time I had seen Andrew. Sometimes I was in places where the wall between the real world and the spirit world was considerably weaker than other places. One thing did seem to be almost universally true. Almost everywhere I went, Andrew was dead.
I sat back down, weary, but no longer frightened. "How's it hanging, big bro? You look like crap, half worn out."
"Speak for yourself," I replied, staring at the vacant hole where Andrew's right eye should be. "Yes, after all this time, I still fight going to sleep. But eventually I have to surrender, don't I?"
"Crap. I wish I could sleep. Roaming the earth in a quasi-zombie state ain't all that it's cracked up to be, believe you me."
I sighed. Might as well get to the heart of it. "Well, you see, it's a little different for me. Every time I wake up, everything changes."
"Change?", Andrew asked, as he tried to stuff an intestine back in place. "What do you mean, change?"
"Whenever I wake up, everything is different. One time I have a family and I'm living in Seattle. The nest day that I wake up, I'm a single guy who's a clown in a rodeo. The next day I'm something deadly dull like an accountant."
"Please!," shuddered Andrew, part of an ear falling off. "You're giving me nightmares! So you wake up somebody different each day? Wow! Say, do you ever have a nice set of knockers?"
"No, I'm always me. It's like me, but in an alternate reality. One where choices made by me or others have led to different outcomes. Like you. You died in my original reality when you were ten. If that's true, how are you an adult here? Do ghosts age here?"
"Oh, H to the no! Last year I fell into the path of a commuter train at a subway station."
"Hmmm. You and trains...not a good match!"
"So how long has this been going on?"
"I don't know. Several years, I guess. I lost count at four hundred and ninety eight. It started at my fortieth birthday. I think someone might have put something in my drink."
"Geez, worst Mickey of all time! Well, I guess that's why you were a little surprised at seeing me. You really didn't know this version of me. And if this is your first night here, you may not have anticipated how things work here." Andrew turned and looked out the window almost wistfully. "You haven't seen Sarah yet, have you?"
"Sarah?" She was my wife, the love of my life before the great unmooring took place. I only rarely have seen her since. Often when I do see her, we hadn't married and she doesn't even know me. Sometimes, the heartbreak is more than I can stand. "Sarah's here? And she's connected to me?" Hope filled my spirit.
"Yeah, ya dope. You two were married for twenty years!"
"Were?"
"Oh, cripes! That's right, you don't know. She's...she's like me."
I couldn't take it anymore. I might soon see my dead wife, a rotting corpse. "Andrew, I..I...don't know if I could handle that."
"You might want to start wrapping your brain around it. Because..." And then I heard the steps and moans from outside, creeping closer, ever closer.
Someone was shaking me awake, violently. "Sir! Sir! Wake up! We're at Defcon Four and you're the only one who may be able to talk her out of it!" I rose from the couch I had been apparently sleeping on, blearily confused, looking at the woman standing above me. Where was I this time? Defcon Four? Somebody playing War Games?
She hustled me down the hallway. Historical paintings lined the hall, men wearing suits with firearms in their hands stood in front of a door I was being led to. A person emerged from the door and anxiously came over to me. "Mr. Secretary, please! She already has launched the codes! You only have five minutes to talk her down!"
Oh my God! Have I mentioned that I don't inherit the abilities of whatever alternative me has? There was one time I woke up as pilot and almost crashed a Jumbo Jet! And this was serious, more serious than not knowing how to a do a damn Balance Sheet. "You..you have get to someone else to do this! I...I don't feel like I can do this!"
You have to, Mr. Secretary! You're the only one who can save the world!"
He opened the doors, and there I saw the most frightening thing I have ever seen.
President Palin.
God help us all.
Flinging the cabinet open, I saw on top of the white plastic dishes a severed forearm, still bleeding at the elbow. From just outside I heard the shuffling steps and quiet moan. I knew I would soon have a visitor.
The room temperature dropped twenty degrees, and I felt a presence, one that brought tears to my eyes and bile to my throat. And then I saw him, only inches from me, reaching towards me, the ghostly pale figure, the stench of rot almost making me faint.
He reached past me, and grabbed the arm. "Oh," he said, through a loosely hung, only partly flesh clad jaw. "I wondered where I had left that!"
It was then that recognition began to penetrate my hardened soul. It was my brother Andrew. He had died when I was only twelve and he was ten. A failed attempt to cross a bridge with a train behind us. I made it. He didn't. And here he was. But not as a child, but as a fully grown adult. Well, at least the parts that had not rotted off.
"Is that Randall's Cup-A-Soup?," he asked, as he tried to re-attach his arm, using a nearby stapler. "Damn! I even miss that! That's pathetic, ain't that the truth?"
The truth was, this was not the first time I had seen Andrew. Sometimes I was in places where the wall between the real world and the spirit world was considerably weaker than other places. One thing did seem to be almost universally true. Almost everywhere I went, Andrew was dead.
I sat back down, weary, but no longer frightened. "How's it hanging, big bro? You look like crap, half worn out."
"Speak for yourself," I replied, staring at the vacant hole where Andrew's right eye should be. "Yes, after all this time, I still fight going to sleep. But eventually I have to surrender, don't I?"
"Crap. I wish I could sleep. Roaming the earth in a quasi-zombie state ain't all that it's cracked up to be, believe you me."
I sighed. Might as well get to the heart of it. "Well, you see, it's a little different for me. Every time I wake up, everything changes."
"Change?", Andrew asked, as he tried to stuff an intestine back in place. "What do you mean, change?"
"Whenever I wake up, everything is different. One time I have a family and I'm living in Seattle. The nest day that I wake up, I'm a single guy who's a clown in a rodeo. The next day I'm something deadly dull like an accountant."
"Please!," shuddered Andrew, part of an ear falling off. "You're giving me nightmares! So you wake up somebody different each day? Wow! Say, do you ever have a nice set of knockers?"
"No, I'm always me. It's like me, but in an alternate reality. One where choices made by me or others have led to different outcomes. Like you. You died in my original reality when you were ten. If that's true, how are you an adult here? Do ghosts age here?"
"Oh, H to the no! Last year I fell into the path of a commuter train at a subway station."
"Hmmm. You and trains...not a good match!"
"So how long has this been going on?"
"I don't know. Several years, I guess. I lost count at four hundred and ninety eight. It started at my fortieth birthday. I think someone might have put something in my drink."
"Geez, worst Mickey of all time! Well, I guess that's why you were a little surprised at seeing me. You really didn't know this version of me. And if this is your first night here, you may not have anticipated how things work here." Andrew turned and looked out the window almost wistfully. "You haven't seen Sarah yet, have you?"
"Sarah?" She was my wife, the love of my life before the great unmooring took place. I only rarely have seen her since. Often when I do see her, we hadn't married and she doesn't even know me. Sometimes, the heartbreak is more than I can stand. "Sarah's here? And she's connected to me?" Hope filled my spirit.
"Yeah, ya dope. You two were married for twenty years!"
"Were?"
"Oh, cripes! That's right, you don't know. She's...she's like me."
I couldn't take it anymore. I might soon see my dead wife, a rotting corpse. "Andrew, I..I...don't know if I could handle that."
"You might want to start wrapping your brain around it. Because..." And then I heard the steps and moans from outside, creeping closer, ever closer.
Someone was shaking me awake, violently. "Sir! Sir! Wake up! We're at Defcon Four and you're the only one who may be able to talk her out of it!" I rose from the couch I had been apparently sleeping on, blearily confused, looking at the woman standing above me. Where was I this time? Defcon Four? Somebody playing War Games?
She hustled me down the hallway. Historical paintings lined the hall, men wearing suits with firearms in their hands stood in front of a door I was being led to. A person emerged from the door and anxiously came over to me. "Mr. Secretary, please! She already has launched the codes! You only have five minutes to talk her down!"
Oh my God! Have I mentioned that I don't inherit the abilities of whatever alternative me has? There was one time I woke up as pilot and almost crashed a Jumbo Jet! And this was serious, more serious than not knowing how to a do a damn Balance Sheet. "You..you have get to someone else to do this! I...I don't feel like I can do this!"
You have to, Mr. Secretary! You're the only one who can save the world!"
He opened the doors, and there I saw the most frightening thing I have ever seen.
President Palin.
God help us all.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Witchy Woman!
Christine O'Donnell: I'm not a witch....I'm you!
T. M. Strait: Huh? You're me? How did that happen? When did you possess my soul? And if you can do that, doesn't that make you a witch? Ahhhhhhh.....!
Christine O'Donnell: I'm nothing like they say I am...
T.M. Strait: Well, of course not. Not if you're me now. And if you're me, than who am I? Doses this me I'm you? Ahhhhhhhhhhh......!
Christine: And when I get into the Senate, I'll do what you would do!
T.M.: What I would do? You're serious! Single payer health care, here we come! Greening the economy...infrastructure improvements....education investment...woohooo!
Alison: Hey, hubby! Watchu doing?
T.M.: Can't you see? I'm Christine O'Donnell.
Alison: That's a shame. You're gonna get your ass kicked by Chris Coons.
T.M: Wait a minute. The commercial's over. What happened to my boobs? I'm me again.
Alison: The spell only lasts while the commercial's on. You're you again.
T.M.: She really is a witch!
Alison: No s---, Sherlock!
T. M. Strait: Huh? You're me? How did that happen? When did you possess my soul? And if you can do that, doesn't that make you a witch? Ahhhhhhh.....!
Christine O'Donnell: I'm nothing like they say I am...
T.M. Strait: Well, of course not. Not if you're me now. And if you're me, than who am I? Doses this me I'm you? Ahhhhhhhhhhh......!
Christine: And when I get into the Senate, I'll do what you would do!
T.M.: What I would do? You're serious! Single payer health care, here we come! Greening the economy...infrastructure improvements....education investment...woohooo!
Alison: Hey, hubby! Watchu doing?
T.M.: Can't you see? I'm Christine O'Donnell.
Alison: That's a shame. You're gonna get your ass kicked by Chris Coons.
T.M: Wait a minute. The commercial's over. What happened to my boobs? I'm me again.
Alison: The spell only lasts while the commercial's on. You're you again.
T.M.: She really is a witch!
Alison: No s---, Sherlock!
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
All In A Color for $1.49
I found this neat device online called The Inflation Adjuster. Put in a monetary value, select a year, and it will tell you what that would be in 2009 dollars. So I thought I would try the price of a comic book in 1960. One dime. The answer that came back in 2009 dollars stunned me. Seventy Two big ones! Pennies, that is.
That's right. Comics adjusted for inflation should be about 72 cents. Obviously, they're more than that. About five and a half times more than that (given the $3.99 price the industry has been pushing us towards). Are there reasons for comics to have increased so dramatically above inflation? I'm sure there are, some of them good, some of them not so good. I don't want to get into an argument over that. What's indisputable is the fact that it takes a larger ratio of disposable income to keep up the habit than it did a generation or two ago.
There are many suggestions to assist the long time survival of the comic book industry. Graphic novels and compilations have been fairly successful. They have helped penetrate the bookstore market. Magazine level items like Spider-Man Magazine or Shonen Jump can be found in Wal-Mart and some grocery stores. The Internet is awash with experimentation, some promising, some pretty gruesome.
But, like the melting glaciers are being dwindled by global warming, the mother source is starting to dry up. The comic shop and the weekly/monthly habit is dying. The connection to younger readers is almost non-existent. The last list of sales I saw had zero comics with sales over 100,000.
Maybe there is no hope. Maybe we just let the mothersource die, and pray that what's left is sufficient. Before we all pack it in and consign weekly comic buying to the scrapheap with radio dramas and pulp magazines, I have one last suggestion.
They key is in the habit and the stack. For me, there was nothing like going to a comic store and coming home with a great big stack. In the 70s, ten bucks would buy me as many as twenty new books. Now, ten bucks would get me two, maybe three max. People want to be social, they want to share. all our technology has not eliminated shopping and personal contact. We need them to want to come to the store weekly. We want them to buy a satisfying stack!
So here's my suggestion. One or both of the big two need to start a line of weekly comics, priced no more than $1.99 and maybe even $1.49. They can be smaller than the standard book, 24 pages or even 16. They can contain 10 to 16 pages of story, depending on the cost analysis of the publishers. They should have four to eight weekly titles, with stories that make you want to get the next issue. If they could publish three full-size issues of The Amazing spider-Man every month, I don't see why they couldn't do this in these smaller sizes every week.
DC could have titles that focus on their cities, such as Metropolis starring Superman, or Gotham starring Batman. Marvel's could be organized around teams such as The Avengers and X-Men, or those great titles that they used to have, such as Strange Tales and Tales to Astonish. Some or all should be all ages to help attract younger readers.
On a periodic basis, be it monthly, bi-monthly or even quarterly, these titles could be sold in a magazine or graphic novel as collections. Some readers will want to follow weekly. Other may prefer the periodic collections.
Yes, I know this idea may be met by resistance from those in the know. There may be myriad production problems. I don't know. I'm just a reader who's been in love with comics for a half a century. And I thought I would give my suggestion one shot. Maybe, just maybe, I won't have to take out my comics to my grandchildren and great-grandchildren and say, "Do you see? Do you see what we used to have?"
That's right. Comics adjusted for inflation should be about 72 cents. Obviously, they're more than that. About five and a half times more than that (given the $3.99 price the industry has been pushing us towards). Are there reasons for comics to have increased so dramatically above inflation? I'm sure there are, some of them good, some of them not so good. I don't want to get into an argument over that. What's indisputable is the fact that it takes a larger ratio of disposable income to keep up the habit than it did a generation or two ago.
There are many suggestions to assist the long time survival of the comic book industry. Graphic novels and compilations have been fairly successful. They have helped penetrate the bookstore market. Magazine level items like Spider-Man Magazine or Shonen Jump can be found in Wal-Mart and some grocery stores. The Internet is awash with experimentation, some promising, some pretty gruesome.
But, like the melting glaciers are being dwindled by global warming, the mother source is starting to dry up. The comic shop and the weekly/monthly habit is dying. The connection to younger readers is almost non-existent. The last list of sales I saw had zero comics with sales over 100,000.
Maybe there is no hope. Maybe we just let the mothersource die, and pray that what's left is sufficient. Before we all pack it in and consign weekly comic buying to the scrapheap with radio dramas and pulp magazines, I have one last suggestion.
They key is in the habit and the stack. For me, there was nothing like going to a comic store and coming home with a great big stack. In the 70s, ten bucks would buy me as many as twenty new books. Now, ten bucks would get me two, maybe three max. People want to be social, they want to share. all our technology has not eliminated shopping and personal contact. We need them to want to come to the store weekly. We want them to buy a satisfying stack!
So here's my suggestion. One or both of the big two need to start a line of weekly comics, priced no more than $1.99 and maybe even $1.49. They can be smaller than the standard book, 24 pages or even 16. They can contain 10 to 16 pages of story, depending on the cost analysis of the publishers. They should have four to eight weekly titles, with stories that make you want to get the next issue. If they could publish three full-size issues of The Amazing spider-Man every month, I don't see why they couldn't do this in these smaller sizes every week.
DC could have titles that focus on their cities, such as Metropolis starring Superman, or Gotham starring Batman. Marvel's could be organized around teams such as The Avengers and X-Men, or those great titles that they used to have, such as Strange Tales and Tales to Astonish. Some or all should be all ages to help attract younger readers.
On a periodic basis, be it monthly, bi-monthly or even quarterly, these titles could be sold in a magazine or graphic novel as collections. Some readers will want to follow weekly. Other may prefer the periodic collections.
Yes, I know this idea may be met by resistance from those in the know. There may be myriad production problems. I don't know. I'm just a reader who's been in love with comics for a half a century. And I thought I would give my suggestion one shot. Maybe, just maybe, I won't have to take out my comics to my grandchildren and great-grandchildren and say, "Do you see? Do you see what we used to have?"
Friday, October 15, 2010
Political Prediction Update and Reflections
No, I am not going back on my predictions of a month ago. I am generally satisfied with my overall conclusions, which are as follows: 18 to 23 seat Republican gain in the House, 2 to 5 seat Republican gain in the Senate, the reactionary elements of the Tea Party becoming more bitter and desperate. I did want to briefly consider some of the major trends in the last month.
I am very worried about the large amounts of corporate, foreign and wealthy individual dollars that are being dropped into our election process. This may influence some races that could have fallen to the Democratic candidate. On the other hand, the blatancy of this money has become so apparent that it may have a backlash effect, especially if Democratic politicians are strong enough to keep pointing it out. Citizens Untied has proven to be the most destructive Supreme Court ruling since Bush v. Gore, and definitely in the top five worst rulings of all time. If not changed very quickly, this will be the last shovel full of dirt burying the corpse of democracy.
I have recently heard that there are 70 Tea Party candidates for the House, of which roughly half are leading or contending. Of course what the MSM is not saying is at least half are NOT contending. So let's say 20 to 25 win. What does that mean? I think they will try to steer the Republican house in a more reactionary direction, if that's even possible. It will make compromise with the Democrats even more difficult. They will be a frustrating nuisance, and only have the power that they can gender through fear and intimidation. Tragically, that may be more power than their numbers warrant.
The false equivalency that CNN keeps trying to bring to the table drives me crazy. I don't mind them trying to be the "more journalistic" network in the middle. But journalism means calling it like it is. If all the crazy candidates are one side, it's best just to call it that than to try to gin up something on the other side. The Democratic equivalent of Newt Gingrich is not Lanny Davis.
The house being allowed to burn in Tennessee is a terrifying glimpse into a Tea Party future. If I were a Democratic candidate, I would play this up, over and over. The rescue in Chile is an example of what government can do IF we let it. They took over from day one, they did it methodical and careful, they brought the best resources from around the world, and we all cried for joy. Contrast that with the Gulf Oil disaster. The media, the government. BP - all sniping at each other. Meanwhile, don't kid yourself. just because our A.D.D. press is not covering it, doesn't mean you won't be seeing negative effects in the gulf for generations to come. And guess what? We're back to drill, baby, drill again!
Sorry for the somewhat random nature, but these are my thoughts with the election less than three weeks way. Please feel free to share your thoughts. I welcome the dialogue!
I am very worried about the large amounts of corporate, foreign and wealthy individual dollars that are being dropped into our election process. This may influence some races that could have fallen to the Democratic candidate. On the other hand, the blatancy of this money has become so apparent that it may have a backlash effect, especially if Democratic politicians are strong enough to keep pointing it out. Citizens Untied has proven to be the most destructive Supreme Court ruling since Bush v. Gore, and definitely in the top five worst rulings of all time. If not changed very quickly, this will be the last shovel full of dirt burying the corpse of democracy.
I have recently heard that there are 70 Tea Party candidates for the House, of which roughly half are leading or contending. Of course what the MSM is not saying is at least half are NOT contending. So let's say 20 to 25 win. What does that mean? I think they will try to steer the Republican house in a more reactionary direction, if that's even possible. It will make compromise with the Democrats even more difficult. They will be a frustrating nuisance, and only have the power that they can gender through fear and intimidation. Tragically, that may be more power than their numbers warrant.
The false equivalency that CNN keeps trying to bring to the table drives me crazy. I don't mind them trying to be the "more journalistic" network in the middle. But journalism means calling it like it is. If all the crazy candidates are one side, it's best just to call it that than to try to gin up something on the other side. The Democratic equivalent of Newt Gingrich is not Lanny Davis.
The house being allowed to burn in Tennessee is a terrifying glimpse into a Tea Party future. If I were a Democratic candidate, I would play this up, over and over. The rescue in Chile is an example of what government can do IF we let it. They took over from day one, they did it methodical and careful, they brought the best resources from around the world, and we all cried for joy. Contrast that with the Gulf Oil disaster. The media, the government. BP - all sniping at each other. Meanwhile, don't kid yourself. just because our A.D.D. press is not covering it, doesn't mean you won't be seeing negative effects in the gulf for generations to come. And guess what? We're back to drill, baby, drill again!
Sorry for the somewhat random nature, but these are my thoughts with the election less than three weeks way. Please feel free to share your thoughts. I welcome the dialogue!
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