Uberween

What a party!  What a night!  But now it was time to make their way home.

They were a little tipsy, and they had no ride. The ones who had brought them had left and stranded them. Michael Myers, their friend who had costumed in a simple William Shatner mask, had decided to leave with Norman Bates, taking the car to go to a hotel on the coast, and meet with Norman's mother. Their other friend, Freddy Krueger, complained of nightmares, and left with Lizzie Borden for Elm Street.

There was nothing left to do but to contact Uber via their smart phone, and arrange for a pick up.

Twenty minutes later, their Uber ride arrived.

It was not what they were expecting.  A horse drawn wagon, with the back filled with hay bales.  The driver was a hunchbacked man, the hump raising dramatically up on the left shoulder, and his eyes were as large and round and as bugged out as any eyes they had ever seen. "Surely, you can't be serious!", he said to the driver.

"I am serious," the driver huffed.  "It's Halloween! We're booked up, and this is the best you're going to get.  Unless you want to wait here in the dark until the dawn sweeps away this ghoulish night."  Reluctantly, the man and woman got into the back of the wagon.  The driver looked back at them, looking grim, eyes bugging out even impossibly further,  "And stop calling me Shirley!"

They tried hard to settle in.  "Where to?" the driver asked.

"Didn't our text make that clear?", he asked.

"What text?"

"The one that called  you here."

"Oh, yes.  That one.  Pardon me, boy!  Was that the Okefenokee ChooChoo Germano Duplexes?"

"Yes, that's right.  Can you get us there?"

"Of course, master."

Master?  What a peculiar man!  They heard the crack of a huge whip, and the loudest horse whinny they had ever heard, and  with a start they were off.  They would have slid off had they not held on to the wooden side rails.

It was hard to get comfortable with the hay bales.  She smiled at him and said, "Would you like a roll in the hay?"

"What?  Now?  Are you crazy?"

She frowned.  "Sorry.  it was just a thought.  I had hoped you'd be a little bit more fun and adventurous."

"Well, I am.  I'm not just not an exhibitionist.  I won't do anything where he could see us."  He pointed up to the driver, and noticed that his hump was now on his right shoulder.  "Wait a minute!" he called out to him.  "Wasn't your hump on your left shoulder?"

The driver looked back, insulted.  "What hump?"

They drove on, and started to go down a dirt road, heavily wooded on both sides. "What is this?  How are we getting home?  I've never seen this road before!" he asked.

"It's a shortcut.  It'll take you right there."

This was too much for the man.  "I don't think..." and then was interrupted by terrible howling.  "Oh, my god! What is that?"

"Listen!," the driver urged, his ear cocked to the sound.  "Listen!  Can you hear them?  The children of the Knight!"

"Oh, no!," the woman shrieked.  "Vampires!"

The driver laughed, a strange gurgling sound.  "Vampires?  No, not vampires.  They are children of the Knight.  You know!  Bobby Knight, the basketball coach."

Tall young men in Indiana basketball uniforms went racing around the hay wagon, running in desperation. The man and woman heard something whooshing towards them, and ducked just as a metal chair went sailing past their heads.

A young girl in a red cloak came up to the front of the wagon and asked, "Excuse me, good sir.  Do you know the way to Granny Goodkind's house?"  The driver pointed a bony finger to the west, and she curtsied and skipped off, only to be followed seconds later by a huge black shadow.  The driver got out a primitive wooden horn and started playing Peter and the Wolf.

Then he changed his tune to the Jaws theme.  They heard a knocking on the side of the wagon.  "W-who is it?" the woman fearfully asked.

A soft, quiet voice answered.  "Candygram."

"I don't believe you!' she huffed.

There was a slight hesitation, and then the voice gently came back.  "Land shark."

It's nasty muzzle and teeth began to appear over the top of the wagon side, and the man instinctively tossed a hay bale at it, knocking it from the wagon.  They could hear it in the distance.  "Oy!  Sometimes it don't pay to get up!"

And the woods began to clear, and the woman noticed the home she was raised in.  Her mother was waving at her from the porch.  "It's Mama!," she shouted.  "But how can that be?  She's  been dead five years!"

The driver turned and answered. "It's where we're at, Mum.  The gasses from the nearby swamp create strange time warps, and you can find yourself lost in another time and place."

She started to move to get off the wagon.  "I must see her!"

He held her back. "Damn it, Janet!  Let's not do the time warp now!"

A few minutes later, the driver came to a stop.  "All right, you wild party goers.  This is your stop."

Brad looked out and saw an old, crumbly mansion.  "This isn't our duplex!  What's going on?  Take us home."

The driver shrugged, his hump now dead center.  "Sorry, mate.  This is where you get off tonight."  He swirled a lever and the trailer of the hay wagon lifted up, dumping it's contents, including Brad and Janet. The wagon took off so fast, it almost seemed to vanish.

They opened the creaky gate, went through the front yard, which was a cemetery filled with tombstones and strange, creepy vines.  They came up to a door with a large gremlin head for a door knocker.  "My!," Brad exclaimed.  "What large knockers!"

Janet gave him a swaggered look, and an uplifted eyebrow.  "Oh, no, you did-ant!  We are not even gonna go there.  You had your chance in the wagon!"

He brought the knocker down, and heard a large bellowing sound, as if Vikings were being called to raid a village.  The door creepered open.

There was a large, tall man, the tallest they had ever seen.  He had the palest, craggiest face they had ever seen.  He said, incredibly slowly, in deep dark tones, "Yooooooouuuuu rangggg?"

"Don't stand on ceremony, Lurch!," a voice from inside spoke.  "Bring our guests inside!"

He grumbled and stood aside to let them him.  The foyer and central room was like a madhouse.  Strange stuffed creatures were mounted on the wall.  A hand coming out of a box waved at them.  A bald man had a lit light bulb in his mouth.  There was a man of modest height, wearing a fancy dinner jacket, and he had a fine dark mustache, and a big stogie in his mouth.  "Welcome!"  he greeted them.  "So glad you could finally make it."

"You - you were expecting us?" stuttered Brad.

"Of course!"  He came up and shook their hands expansively.  "Why, it just wouldn't be Halloween without you!"

"P-please sir, "whispered Janet, barely able to get her voice out.  "We're grateful for the hospitality, but when can we go home?"

"Not until Wednesday..."

"WEDNESDAY!" they reverberated together.  That was four days from now!

"Not until Wednesday shows up!"  A young girl started to descend the staircase, looking very somber, dressed in a black Victorian dress.  "And there she is now!  Wednesday, my child!"

He turned back to them.  "And I am Gomez.  Over there is Fester."  Fester took out his bulb and waved, and then lit it up again.  "You've met, Lurch, of course."  Lurch nodded, grumbling.  "And Thing."  They looked at a box but saw nothing.  "Ah, sometimes, he's shy."

Gomez turned to a nearby door. "Enough introductions!  Time for the party!  Come into the parlor!"

He opened the door and it was a room even creepier than the last.  A woman, dressed in a black gown that clung to her and ran past her feet (did she even have feet?), was mounted to a stretching rack, one of many torture devices scattered through out the parlor.  "Morticia!  Get down off there!  It's time for our guest to have the fun!"

Morticia came down and glided towards them.  "Of course, Gomez dear!  I see Uncle Uber has brought us something new to play with!"

Brad and Janet looked at each other with horror.  "Let's get out of here!" screamed Brad, his hair standing straight up.

They turned to run, but Lurch held Janet, and a hand from the box reached out and held Brad firmly by the arm.

It was ooky.

It was spooky.

It was the Uber family.

Ba da da dum!

Snap! Snap!

City Mouse in a City House

We've lived everywhere, man.

Well, everywhere in Pierce County.  At least it feels like it.  At least in the sense that we've lived both in the city of Blackshear and out in the county.

We've lived in four different places in the city of Blackshear, and one out in the county.  Alison is a Pierce County native and has lived here except for a few college and early career years.  She lived in three different places within the city growing up.  It's hard for us to travel about Blackshear without going by someplace she used to live.

Many of our friends have indicated a preference for the country, or "out county" life.  There is a larger sense of "room" and "freedom", they say.  People are less densely packed together.  The amount of property and house you can have is greater for the same amount of dollars.  The taxes are lower, in that you are not paying both city and county.

We tried to make a go of it in the county for about six years.  We lived in a new home built by a reputable builder. We had a little more than an acre of property.  We were near woods and walking distance of a pond.

But not everything is for everybody.  We tried to have outdoor cats, but loose, stray dogs would always wind up getting them, or other wildlife would.  We had to arrange our own garbage pick up, and pay for that separately.  The bugs were atrocious, including one hornet I saw that, I swear, was the size of a flying VW bus.  We had one caught in the window frame one time that our exterminator called the biggest bug he had ever seen.  The water was from a well, and it would break down every time the temperature dropped below freezing, or ants decided to make a home close to it.  We had to heavily filter the water to even think about drinking it, and the sulfuric smell?  You just had to get used to it.  Yard debris would just accumulate, and the only way to get rid of it was to burn it, and I am not an outdoor fire person.  So my yard debris just stacked up higher and higher. There were few children Benjamin's age to play with - he had to usually bring kids in from other areas.  The Internet had to be brought in via satellite, and we had to pay a fortune for a service that was barely better than dial-up.  Want to watch a streamed show?  Be prepared to take an hour and a half to watch a twenty-two-minute comedy.

So after our valiant attempt to make the county work, we came back to the city.  We found a foreclosure home that needed to be remodeled, and Alison and her father had a blast turning it into a wonderful, livable home.

Yes, we have to pay city taxes.  Yes, we have less acreage.  Yes, we have closer neighbors.  But it is a beautiful neighborhood that is great for walking, and close to the library and to downtown.  It's okay to pay more taxes when you can see the benefits - people who pick up our yard debris, no roaming packs of wild dogs, water and sewer, more police and firefighters, city parks.  And the Internet?  Blazing speed!  I can stream a show instantly, without delay or buffering.

Being a city mouse in a city house is for me and Alison, even if it's not for everyone. And thank goodness we have a choice, and that different people prefer different places.  We couldn't all live in one place or the other. The county has many virtues for many people.

But for us?  Give us that small town "city" life!  Viva la Blackshear!

Battery Mattery and other Monday Musings

This was a Wild weekend,  Well, only in the sense that Alison and I watched the movie Wild on Saturday.  It was a pretty good movie, as the character that Reese Witherspoon played went on a thousand mile plus hike, on the Trans Pacific Trial, in an attempt to rediscover and rebalance herself,.  There was a man vs. Nature theme, as there was in The Martian, but it was also much more than that.  There were plenty of flashbacks, and she met others along the trail, some dangerous but many that were helpful.  All in all, it was an interesting and satisfying movie to watch.

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Thursday night my car battery died after attending Vestry meeting,  A fellow vestry member, Wayne, was kind enough to help me jump the Honda off.  We took it by Advance Auto Parts on Saturday to see if the battery needed to be replaced, and the guy who tested it said stuff I didn't really understand.  I'm going to take it to the car dealership today and hope it's not the alternator.  We just had to replace the alternator on the Toyota the week before, and I can see my retirement fading further and further away.

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My love/hate affair with football continues.  The college teams I support, Michigan and Georgia, did not play, so I got an extra week to recover from the devastating heartbreak of the Michigan/MSU game.  The Atlanta Falcons could hardly score, but their opponent had more trouble, and they managed to win 10 to 7.  The Lions were crushed by the Vikings, so their woes continue.

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He's not as innately dangerous as Donald Trump, nor as big a lying incompetent as Carly Fiorina, but I'm still puzzled by the number of people willing to support someone as clearly insane as Ben Carson.  He's not evil crazy, or sinister crazy, but he's just putting things together in such a wrong way - you wonder how his mind is really working.  The quiet calm way he speaks does not suggest common sense and reason to me, but just somebody who is not getting it, and it is satisfied with meaningless, sometimes contradictory answers,

This whole attraction to what the ill informed are calling "nonpoliticians"  is a disturbing phenomenon, and one deserving of a blog post dedicated to nothing but that.  Yes, of course.  If I want a brain surgeon, I want the guy who doesn't have a doctor's degree, is untrained in brain surgery, but everything is going to be swell because they've developed some wonderful theories based on some videos they saw on the Internet.

There are more paths to being a good President than someone who has only been a career politician. But whatever those alternate paths are?  Trust me - Trump, Carson and Fiorina did not take them.


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Thank you, Republican Benghazi committee, for doing the most anyone has ever done in helping to elect Hillary Clinton as our nation's first woman President.  Yes, politics and momentum can change.  But right now, that is the inevitable conclusion of the worst "McCarthy-style" hearing I have ever seen.

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Yes, I tried to forward my efforts to get my novels published,  Agents, a direct submission, and a contest.  I know.  I should be doing more.  I find I do not suffer from Writer's Block, but I do suffer from Promotion Block.  I have a hard time promoting myself.  I just want to be like Snoopy in the Peanuts cartoon...didn't you understand?  - you're just supposed to publish my book and send me money?  Why is it so hard to get them to understand this???

Until next time,

T. M. Strait

Ripping Good Yarns: They Baffled Me With Science - The Martian vs. Snowpiercer

The summer of 2013 I was privileged to attend a Writer's Workshop in Wayne County.  The Guest of  Honor was the famed award-winning science fiction writer, Jack McDevitt.  One of the panel discussions was about the future of science fiction, and he talked about how we were currently dominated by bleak, dystopian views of the future, and the new trend may be a more optimistic, problem-solving storytelling.  I agreed that to speak in a different voice might help your work stand out in the marketplace.  Now that I've finally finished two novels, the next thing I would like to do are short stories that reflect a more hopeful outlook, and maybe fulfill my lifelong ambition of getting published in a science fiction pulp magazine.

Since that time, we have had a few movies that have shown signs of bucking the dystopian avalanche. Tomorrowland was a movie from earlier in the year, that offered a more optimistic outlook, and it was one Benjamin and I had great fun at.  It inspired my budding young scientist son, and showed how science could work to our benefit, that bleakness was not something to be given into.

And now we have the movie The Martian, which shows one man, alone, facing a series of insurmountable challenges, and using science to conquer each obstacle as it comes up.  It kind of moves like a MacGyver in Space.  It has an A-list cast, all performing at the top of their craft, state of the art cinematography and effects, and a compelling story.  Oscars are hard to predict, but I wouldn't be surprised if it isn't at least nominated.

Is the science in it accurate?  I don't know.  It at least seems plausible to a lay person like myself.  Some of the maneuvers at the end seem a bit of a stretch, but I'm a good moviegoer.  I went with it.

I would've preferred to see more interaction with Mars.  Mars presented more of a survival challenge than an exploratory opportunity.  A little running water, as they have recently found on Mars, would have been nice.  A little life, maybe, even if just microbes.  I guess finding Friday was too much to hope for.

Friday, you ask?

Yes, Friday!

The movie reminded me of an earlier classic from the sixties, Robinson Crusoe on Mars.  There again was one man alone, trying to survive on Mars, facing challenges.  Of course, he also found an atmosphere, a space monkey, and Friday, the native friend (just like in the Dafoe book).

But look!  The seal on the poster certifies that....THIS FILM IS SCIENTIFICALLY AUTHENTIC!!!

I don't know if that says more about Hollywood hyperbole, or our state of scientific knowledge about Mars at that time.

Anyways, regardless, I do have to admit, that I missed seeing Friday in The Martian.

The same weekend I saw The Martian, I also saw a DVRed recording of Snowpiercer. an example of a dystopian movie that was done in 2014.

In this movie, science is not your friend.  Science, and mankind's abuse of it, led to accelerating global warming.  Science led to a solution, seeding the atmosphere with an agent that was supposed to cool the Earth, that worked all too well, plunging the entire planet into a brutal ice age.  The only survivors were on board a constantly moving train.

The train was organized so that the poorest citizens were kept in the back, and the farther upfront you were, the greater you were in social class and power.  The movie centers around a revolt of the back passengers to try to take over and reorganize the train in a more egalitarian fashion.

This sounds implausible, but the movie actually does a good job of explaining it and making it seem plausible. The action is swift and violent, and it's overall outlook bleak.  Science is being used to control the train, and the humans in the train, particularly the ones in charge, are trying to organize the populace to serve the science and to keep the train moving.  In order for those in the back to assert themselves, they must destroy the science instead of MacGyver it.

The movie ends where The Martian begins, with the survivors of the train now trying to figure out how to operate in an hostile climate and environment.

This movie, like The Martian, has an A-list cast, great effects, and a compelling story.  Both received positive critical reviews in the mid-90s percent range.

So which one did I like better?

God help me, I liked Snowpiercer better.  Yes, I agree with Jack McDevitt that the next wave of science fiction will be more optimistic, and I hope to capture that and write some stories in that vein.  Yes, I can see the positive effects these films have on my young scientist son, Benjamin.  But I grew up on 1984, Animal Farm and Brave New World.  I thrilled to The Omega Man, Soylent Green, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Escape From New York and Dr. Strangelove.  

I know there are too many of these films and books right now, particularly in the Young Adult category.  I am trying to be more choosy about them.  But, ultimately, I can't help myself.

There's nothing wrong with "I just fixed the generator with hairspray and a hang nail" , but often I prefer the cold chill of  "Be careful.  This is your warning. You could be next."

I Hate Football

Michigan vs. MSU.  The game that broke my heart.

I hate football.

Every year I get my hopes up, only to have everything pulled away from me, year after year, like Lucy pulling away the football from Charlie Brown.  This year it will be different.  That's what you say.  And every year you are crushed.

I am loyal to four teams.  And I stick with those teams no matter what.

The Detroit Lions last won a championship in 1957.  I was two years old.  Since 1957, they have won a total of ONE playoff games.  They are rarely even competitive two seasons in a row.  This year, they lost their first five games, some as bad as I have ever seen them.

The Atlanta Falcons have one Super Bowl appearance.  That was in 1998, where they were crushed by the Denver Broncos.  Ask Alison about the frustration of being a Falcons fan.  They also run hot and cold.   They currently are running hot, but how long that will last is any body's guess.  The last game they played against the Saints made it look like their earlier 5-0 record was a fluke.

The Georgia Bulldogs often string out good if not great seasons, They last won the national championship in 1980.

The Michigan Wolverines, my Alma mater, my heart and soul.  They last won the National Championship in 1997, but even then, they were only declared co-champions along with Nebraska, the only year I know that a co-championship has occurred.  Recently, the Wolverines have suffered many subpar seasons, triggered by the disastrous hiring of Rich Rodriguez, the worst coach Michigan ever brought in.  Jim Harbaugh, this year's new coach, promised to change all that, and was off to a energizing start.  That all ground to a halt with the heartbreaking last second loss to MSU.  With only ten seconds left, a punted ball was mishandled by the Wolverines, the ball scooped up by the Spartans, and rumbled in for a game winning touchdown.  I screamed and screamed until I had no voice left.

The big trouble with college football is that teams are selected for the national championship playoffs by poll rather than by conference champions.  That means, unless you are in the SEC, one loss almost always takes you out of contention, and two losses certainly leaves you in the cold.  And whatever the Wolverines do, even if they beat OSU and then win the conference championship, they will not go to the playoffs.  It's over.  It's just a matter of which booby prize bowl they will play in.

The Wolverines are filled with fine players and staff.  So are the Spartans.  I don't blame the punter.  I don't blame Harbaugh.  The officiating was often atrocious, but that's a different story.  I blame myself, and the horrible kismet and curse it is to be one of my favorites.

But that is only one of the reasons I am beginning to hate football.

The young man who recovered the punt for the Spartans, Jalen Watts-Jackson, suffered a season ending injury during his heroic run. He dislocated and fractured his hip, an injury that will hopefully only keep him out this season, but it's one that could end his career and affect his health the rest of his life.  Recent prognosis is better than originally projected, and we all keep in our prayers.

But that is only one of the horrible injuries that occur all the time in football.  They occur constantly.  Some take you out for a game, some for a season, some end your career.  And once in a great while, they end a player's life.  Some injuries haunt their health for the rest of their lives.  We're only beginning to understand the devastating damage accumulated concussions do.

Football is our most war-like sport, the most like the gladiatorial games from the Roman coliseum.  The injuries that occur are not worth it.  The Spartans win is not worth the good health of a fine young man like Jalen Watts-Jackson.

None of my boys played football.  They're not small boys, and technically could have done it.  But they did not have the interest or the athleticism to take it on.  And although I would have backed them whatever they decided, I am secretly grateful they did not choose to play.

And what does that say about my interest in football?  That I watch something that I would rather my own sons not do?

I hate football.

Will I give it up?  Sigh.  Probably not.

But I do have some thinking to do.

Found A Peanut - A Good Home! and other Monday Musings

We had a foster I did not tell you much about.  I was going to do a post at the right time, but his adoption to a good family came too fast!

He first came to us months ago, shivering and scared.  Caught in an Animal Control trap, the Humane Society was told he might be dangerous.  They were wrong,  Peanut has never shown any aggression. His fear soon melted away, and he fell into our pack quite easily, becoming an open, playful, loving lap dog.

We enjoyed Peanut so much, we were in no rush to have him adopted.  As soon as he was fixed, however, I did not really get a chance to do a post, because there was interest from some good friends of ours, loyal and good pet lovers who had recently lost their long-time family dog, who took an interest, met Peanut and fell in love, and should have him as their own tonight.

The difficulty in fostering is not in the time and energy it takes, it is in the opening of the heart and then letting go.  I don't know how well built I am for this, but it is important thing to do, so I soldier on.  After over a half dozen fosters, though, if I am supposed to toughen up, it hasn't happened yet.

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I have a couple of things that I reserve the right to develop into fuller themes as the week progresses.

I saw the Movie The Martian in the theatre over the weekend, the first movie I had done so since Fantastic Four.  I also saw Snowpiercer at home, recorded off of a free Showtime preview.  The two movies were a contrast in science fiction storytelling; The Martian being a brighter, more optimistic story of using science to solve problems - sort of a MacGyver in Space, and Snowpiercer  a darker, dystopian film demonstrating the failures of both science and human behavior.

Which one was better?  I'd rather not say (I may reserve that for its own post).  But I will say that recently, there have been way too many movies like Snowpiercer and far too few like The Martian.


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I hate football.  Again, this I will post more fully later, but suffice to say for now, I had my heart ripped out of chest and stomped on.  By the end of the Michigan - MSU game, I was an emotionally devastated mess.  I don't ever recall being in so much agony over a sports result before.

Okay.  Just one thing.  How is it targeting when an offensive lineman pushes a defensive player down onto the quarterback, and then places a hand on the square of his back to hold him in place.  How in the world is that targeting on the DEFENSIVE PLAYER??????????????????????

As you can see, I am rational and calm about the subject matter.

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I disappointed myself by spending no time on getting published.  What little free writing time I had, I spent on organizing the OHC Writing Contest.  So far, we seem to have received a similar number of entries in the Adult division as we did last year, which is very good.  Our student divisions are not where they were last year, particularly in student story.  Obviously, I have to do something different next year to increase student participation.  Even if it's just to ask the right people to help me.

Anyways, I hope to have more time this coming weekend to rekindle my publishing efforts, as I will have both Thursday and Friday off.

Until next time,

T. M. Strait

October Speculatron - The Circus Train is A-Jugging! Saturday Political Soapbox 114

You know, it's sort of an obligation.  Every few months, I've got to speculate on the condition of the upcoming election.  Can't help myself.  So skip or enjoy.  Your call.

Let's start with the easy one.  Barring health problems or indictment, Hillary Clinton will be the nominee of the Democratic Party.  With all due apologies to the candidate whom I support, Bernie Sanders, I just don't see him winning the nomination.  I know that will upset some of my fellow Bernie supporters, but I'm just trying to keep it real.

Bernie is worth voting for, and you never know - he might surprise.  The most important thing he is doing is building a coalition of support that will help the Progressive Majority emerge in 2020.  He is laying the groundwork for a run by somebody else, who can use the phrases like "democratic socialist" and "progressive solutions" and find a majority of Americans in support.  The only thing that can prevent 2020 from being the beginning of a new Progressive Era is if the oligarchy really has strangled democracy, or if the American people decide that is more important to go to war fighting over resources such as oil and water, or it is more important to develop alternative energies and work to preserve the environment so that the planet will be livable for future generations.

Hillary is not the perfect candidate by any means.  She is far too militaristic, and too close to Wall Street to really regulate Wall Street.  But she is competent and pragmatic, two characteristics essential to being a good President.

Will Biden run?  I don't know.  I can't tell.  If he does, I'm afraid he won't win.  Although I think Biden is the most qualified person in the country to become President, I have trouble seeing him as being electable.  If he does run, I think it may fracture the vote enough that the final has to be decided at the convention, with Bernie Sanders acting as the power broker.


Now........how about the true circus?

Oy.  What a mess.

First, we have the insane division - Donald Trump, Ben Carson and Carly Fiorina.  The "oh look, they're outsiders!" phenomenon that is careening through the Republican Party like a Miley Cyrus  ridden wrecking ball.  Who should we put in charge of the Kindergarten class?  I know!  The kid in the corner eating his own mud pies - that's who!  Could one of these incompetent fools actually get the nomination?  You know what?  I can no longer rule it out.  If it's Trump, God help us all.  I'm not going to get into all their incredible deficiencies - that is for other posts.  Suffice it to say, Trump has faded a tiny bit, but he is still the front-runner. Oy.

In the Right Wing of Attila the Hun Division, we have Ted Cruz and the theocrats - Mike Huckabee, Bobby Jindall and Rick Santorum.  Of these, only Ted Cruz has a shot.  IF the insane division fades in the polls, Ted Cruz is the next most likely to emerge.  He is the next most crazy candidate, so it is the next most logical place for the Republicans go.  Cruz has played a smart long tern strategy, even funding Fiorina's campaign (to the tune of a half million dollars), and we'll have to see if it pays off.


In the Establishment Division (but still right wing enough that they're going to take away your social security and health care - PAY ATTENTION PEOPLE!!!), they are in utter shambles.  Jeb Bush is fading fast, and none of the rest are gaining much traction.  This group includes Jeb Bush, Marco Rubio, Chris Christie and John Kasich.  Jeb Bush had huge campaign funds/Super PAC advantages, but Rubio is starting to show some strength in this regard.  So at this moment in time, I have to give Rubio the slight edge.  The establishment keeps dangling Jeb Bush in front of the base, but so far the Republican base has refused to bite.

So who in the general election?  I still think the establishment Republican is most likely to win.  My top most likely race would be Clinton vs. Rubio.  Bush could still make it, but it's looking dimmer every day.


My undercard would be Clinton vs. Cruz.  This would be an electoral disaster for the Republicans, but sometimes in politics, these forces just have to burn themselves out, like they did with Goldwater in 1964.

Who will be the next President?  If it's any candidate from the Insane or Atilla/Theocratic division, Clinton will run away with it.  If it's Bush or Rubio, she would still win, but it would be much closer, and the wrong set of circumstances (scandal, health, current events) could let the Republicans win.  Their best shot is with John Kasich as he could make gains for them in Ohio and the Midwest, but I'll state out flatly - the Republican base is not bright enough to do that.  They've got their anger button on permanent lockdown mode.

Finally, if the Republicans do nominate an establishment candidate, I think there is a fifty-fifty chance that Trump runs as an independent.  He's volatile and easily pissed off.  And he's one of the most dangerous men ever to run for President (see other posts, or just open your friggin' eyes).  He could get, say, 30% of the vote, but that could be enough to springboard him to power.  Why not?  Historically, it's worked before. Check it out.

If he runs, the 2016 election might not give anyone a majority in the electoral college, and Donald Trump, the new kingmaker, could offer himself up as Vice-Chancellor for whichever party is willing to take him.

Oops.  I don't mean Vice Chancellor.  I mean Vice President.

My bad.

Spectacularly Short Thursday Thoughts

Ready to wander down the watery highways of random thought?

The Democratic Debate was super fantastic!  Policy driven and focused, it was a hundred times more informative and purposeful than the Trumpified Crazy Town Express that were the Republican debates.  The DNC should have agreed to more debates - I think it does the American voting public good to see a major party discussing important issues in a mature way.

Who won?  That depends on how you turn the kaleidoscope.  Hillary was certainly poised and competent. By the cold calculation of debating rules, by the structure of the usual media spin, Hillary was the champ.  By the online polls and focus groups, Bernie was the clear winner.  Even if he wasn't as polished, even if he wasn't saying things in exactly the way the pundits like to hear, he was still connecting with people by the consistency and power of his message.

Time will tell what impact it has.  I don't think it hurt either major candidate,  We'll see.

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Benjamin had to drop out of a play that he had just been cast in.  It was the hardest decision I've ever had to make in theatre, and letting the director know was a terribly hard thing to do.  He did it early, before rehearsals began, and I wish it didn't have to happen, but it did.  I pray that this doesn't hurt him in future casting decisions.  It means the world to me to watch him grow in his theatrical talents.

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Today is the final individual tax deadline (yes, some people extend all the way to October 15th), but I think I'm in good shape.  However, you never know what may come in at the last minute.  I will be glad when the weekend has begun,

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Football pours back into our lives tonight, with the Falcons confronting the Saints.  It's been a surprisingly good season for them so far, and we hope that continues.  I am wearing my Falcons tie today at work.

The Lions on the other hand - don't get me started!  What a miserable year, especially after coming off such a promising season last year.  I am not one for mid-season coaching changes but...Offensive Coordinator Joe Lombardi has to go NOW.  Stop imposing a system on your players, and start fitting a system to your players.

In college football, the Michigan Wolverines appeared to have accomplished their three year plan in five weeks!  Go Blue!  The Bulldogs?  They may need to be starting a fresh three year plan next year.

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Good luck to the Cubs!  This is the year Back to the Future had you winning the World Series!  Let's all get into our flying cars and go see it!

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I have started the long, hard slog to getting my novels published in some fashion, in some way.  I've started literary agent queries, and will be sending out samples to publishers who accept them.  I accidentally made a request for literary agents online, that instead got diverted to self-publishing companies.  Now they won't stop calling me.  Self-publishing is at the end of a long train of other options, not my first choice.

It's hard, because I could have copies right now.  I could sell them at the Heritage Center and Waygreen and other places, or even online.  But it is more important to me to find out if I can make enough money at it to fill in the gap of what we need when I retire.  So I go the long route, foolish or not.

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Benjamin has to read a poem in class today, and I am proud to say he picked one of mine!  And so things come full circle - as I  also read one of my poems in 9th grade, when I was supposed to have picked out a published poem from a real poet.  Oh, well!  We Straits!  What can you do?  He chose Pond Living is the Place to Be.

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Uh-oh.  I have to go to work now.

604!!!

T. M. Strait

American Violence: Guns and the Third Rail - Newspaper Edit

It happens again and again and again.  And nothing ever seems to change.

The horrific events at a Connecticut elementary school in December 2012 are beyond my comprehension to absorb and understand.  The senseless attack involving the loss of so many young lives is mind numbing.

Clips from the Gabrielle Gifford campaign shooting the other day brought me to tears. Not just the awful loss of life that day, but that since that incident we have done...nothing, NOTHING to change anything. 

And now it's happened again.  A mass shooting at a community college in Oregon.  The 45th school shooting of 2015, according to a group compiling data, Every Town for Gun Safety.  So once again it pains me to say....nothing, NOTHING will change.

So what exactly is it that I'm hoping will change?

Gun violence in this country takes an enormous amount of lives.  Bob Herbert, the prominent newspaper writer and columnist, said on a news program I saw, that since the assassinations of Martin Luther King and Robert Kennedy, we have lost over a million people in this country to gun violence (including incidents labeled as "gun accidents").  The U.S. is averaging three gun related deaths per hour.

Canada also has an incredible number of guns, and yet they only have the fraction of the gun violence that we have.  So there's more than just a large number of guns causing the problem.

We have a sickness in this country, something in this culture that causes us to reach for guns in such a destructive way.  The primary driver may beour frontier attitude of "circle the wagons", our deeply embedded fear that what we have will be taken from us.  For whatever reason, many of us have a quick, fierce temper in this country, and guns are often used to settle problems, or are brought out in the heat of the moment.

It is true that there are many, many very responsible gun owners in this country.  But it also undeniably true that irresponsible use of guns is rampant.

So nothing changes because our country doesn't seem to evolve to a higher state of caring for each other, of not resorting to guns to settle disputes or dissipate anger.  We may actually be going backwards on this as our politics become more divided and hate filled.  Recently, more laws have passed increasing the availability of guns, including where you can carry them and how you can use them (Stand Your Ground laws), including the "Guns Everywhere" law passed in the Georgia legislature. Guns in bars - what could go wrong?

There was some hope in the wake of the Gabrielle Gifford shooting that our political rhetoric would clean up its act.  But, after a brief period of mouthing platitudes, things went right back to the way they were.  Nothing changed.  After each incident, the same cycle repeats itself.

But now we get to the third rail.  The NRA has this country by the throat, and any kind of common sense gun control is choked off and shot dead even before it is a born. My guess is, if I know my social media audience and many of my newspaper readers, it is the one thing that will cause the most squealing and screaming, more  than any other issue I could bring up. 

And yet, something obviously needs to be done.  Gun show loopholes need to be closed, background checks need to be intensified, and assault rifle legislation needs to be renewed.  There are many measures that we if we talked as reasonable people we could accomplish, and still preserve the rights of gun owners.

100 round ammo clips.  Good Lord!  If you use it for deer hunting, there won't be much left of the deer.  If you have it in your house, and you're responsible, it's not assembled.  If it's not assembled, the robber, the "other" you fear, is not going to give you the time to assemble it.  And odds are high that he will have all or part of it before you do.  If you think it's going to help you overthrow a tyrannical government - surprise!  No matter what you do, their weaponry is going to exceed your weaponry.  You are much better off using the non-violent methods of Martin Luther King and Gandhi.

Guns may not kill people, as the cliché goes, but certainly people with 100 round ammo clips can kill a whole lot more people.

I don't know if America can change.  I don't know what will wake us up to do something about this.  I can only pray and have faith that we will.

Fall? What is this thing called Fall?

Ah, yes!

Those beautiful days when the calender says it is Autumn, and leaves turn colors, and start to descend to the ground.  The weather turns cooler, and the wind and rain bring a refreshing chill to the air. Not too cold, but inviting enough to wear a jacket, and be outside without having to worry about flying, biting insects.

There is nothing better than going to the A & W Root Beer Stand, and getting a frosty mug of A & W Root Beer.  It never tastes better than it does in the Fall.

There is nothing better than a visit to an apple orchard, and drinking freshly milled apple cider.  Or a visit to a pumpkin patch.  Or getting up early on a Football game day, and participating in a tailgate, so early that you're wearing a jacket and warming by the different fires and grills that are set cooking hamburgers and kielbasas. 

There is nothing better than a bike ride in the cool, crisp autumn air.  The wonder and quiet and cleanness can take you to another world, like you're on a movie set, placed in a technicolor dream world.

Of course, none of this takes place in South Georgia.

Oh, eventually some leaves may turn.  There may be some days where the temperatures drop, maybe even into the low 70s in the day and the high 50s in the night.  But you're just as likely to have days in the mid to high 80s.  The gnats don't quit, and they bring their friends - wasps and hornets.  Spiders are everywhere - it's almost impossible to walk between tress or shrubs without getting a face full.

I mowed the yard Friday.  It was much warmer than I expected, even at 10 in the morning.  And the gnats?  Oh, yes!  The gnats were there.  They swarmed me as usual, and I looked like Pigpen from the Peanuts cartoon.  

Eventually, a kind of mild Fall will come to South Georgia, at least for short periods or bursts.  They have a special name for it down here.  It's called Winter.

Yes.

Winter is coming.

Maybe.  Disguised as a mild Michigan early Fall.

I miss the seasons.

I Like Politics: Saturday Political Soap Box 113

I like politics.

I know that isn't a very PC thing to say right now.  Most of the people that I know only seem enamored with the opposite.  It is very culturally correct to say how much you hate politics and everything political.

But I don't.  I'm sorry, but it's true.

It is true that I don't like all politicians.  It's true that I have great objections to many of the ways our system operates.  There is much heartache in the decisions politicians make.  There is much disgust and revulsion in the power that the special interests and the wealthy hold over our body politic.  And there is almost constant disappointment in the inattentiveness and disinterest of the American voter.

So you say you hate politics?

Well, you've picked a bad country to have those feelings in.  We've chosen a form of government that only works effectively when people become fully informed and are willing to participate.  It's okay, and in fact necessary, to hate the way things are going.  It's not okay to give up.  It's not okay to stop paying attention.

You say you're tired of career politicians who serve unlimited terms?  Well, you have the power to do something about it.  STOP VOTING FOR THEM AND VOTE FOR A CHALLENGER.  You don't need a law....you already have that power to do something about it.  STOP ME BEFORE I VOTE FOR THE INCUMBENT AGAIN makes for a pitiful campaign slogan.

Politics is not a dirty word.  Everything is politics.  It's impossible to get away from.  In a democracy (and yes, I know - we are slipping away from even resemblance to a democracy in this country), even deciding not to vote is a political decision that has political consequences.

I can hate food.  But I still have to eat.  You can hate politics, but you still have to participate.  Unless you are willing to completely surrender to an authoritarian government.  I know I'm not.

Another contrarian guidepost I'm going to give you is - stop for voting for the man (or woman).  No, that does not mean you should disregard character, nor should you be beholden to any particular political party. You need to decide what issues or issues are most important to you.  Research them, figure out for yourself what are the best solutions or ways to achieve what is important to you.  And then don't be blinded by personality or party in how best to achieve those goals.

I am a progressive, for the most part, but like any individual, I have a mix of views.  For a long time, the most important issue to me was health care, and  my firm belief that every one should have access to the health care system, that families should not be bankrupted or shut out in their pursuit of decent health care for their loved ones.  I always voted for the candidate that I thought would move us closer to that goal.

Although I still feel health care is important, and that the Affordable Health Care was only the beginning of where we need to get to, today I have a new number one issue.  It is something that if we don't organize to take care of right away, nothing else will matter.  And that issue is global warming.  If you want me to vote for your candidate, you must convince me that he/she is going to do the most to save us from the environmental destruction we have created for ourselves.  I realize that it may already be too late to stop, that the best we can hope for is to mitigate and slow it.  But I can't give up.  I can't turn to my children and future grandchildren and tell them I did nothing while the world burned.

But for you, other issues may be more important.  Whatever they are, become informed and vote accordingly.

Yes, there are many problems and reasons to hate politics.  There is too much money in the system, in funding campaigns and in lobbying.  There are too many noncompetitive, gerrymandered districts.  The Congress is ugly and dysfunctional.  Some have problems with other branches of government (and if you don't know what those branches are - well, I think we've identified part of our problem right there).  If any of these are important enough to you - make them the issue you vote on.

But don't stop there.  Getting informed and voting is only part of the battle.  GET INVOLVED.  Join groups that support what you do, engage in the civic conversation, become part of movements that seek to make this a better country.

So you don't have to be like me.  You don't have to like politics.  But there is something you can't do - you can't drop out.  You can't quit.

Our fragile, increasingly imperiled democracy is depending on you.

Radioactive Aftermath

Friendly excursion
into a best friend free zone
No Rachel or Monica
No Perks, Central or not

It says that we're buddies
How can it lie
Machines have no BS detector
They have no reality reflector

A note here and there
A thumbs up out of the abyss
Doesn't warrant the jubilation
That comes from spit or blood

I remember a time
When the train it was a-comin'
Crossing the guard rails of faith
Chugging to the heart of hope

Now the station is empty
Bare of the memories you try to evoke
No flash of Phoebe and the Smelly Cat
No Ross and his constant pining

There is only the ghost
The radioactive imprint
From a body long since disintegrated
A friendship that is no longer there

Except as a scarred reminiscence

You must PLAY ON!

Outstanding cast and crew of "PLAY ON" now being presented at the Ritz Theatre in downtown Waycross! Shown left to right (front) Brenda Luke, Anita Lynn, Niki Spivey, (back) Kayla Dixon, Andre' Lagoueyte, Michelle Lagoueyte, Allen Hamilton, Brittany Peacock, Jody Rollins, Pam Fields, Mamie Jackson. Additional show dates are October 8, 9, 10 at 8:00 p.m. Don't miss this hilarious comedy by a great cast and crew!!!

You must Play On!  If you have not done so yet, you must come out and see this hilarious production.  I saw it Friday night, and it clearly wins the T. M. strait Seal of Approval.  Every cast menber hits the right tone, and adds to the humor of this play about a play that goes wildly off course.

It is difficult to impossible for me to select actors who stood out above the others, as all did such a great job of making their parts a special joy.  I was pleased to see the talented Brenda Luke in a larger role - the play would not have worked without a great actress in the role of Director, who is alternately commanding and frustrated.  My wonderful friend, Anita "Miss Daisy" Lynn, was a joy to watch as the baffling and baffled authoress.  Brittany Peacock has some of the best non-verbals in community theatre as the young ingenue.  Every line that my friend Mamie Jackson uttered had me rolling in the aisle.  Jody Rollins has virtually no equal as a character actor in local theater, and successfully melted into another role.  I loved watched the Lagoueyte siblings perform, especially one of my favorite young actresses, Michelle.  Allen Hamilton, one of my fellow Grace Episcolites, was fantastically funny in this first time I have seen on stage, and someone whom I hope to see more of.  Niki Spivey was brilliant in her role, and great to see back onstage.  Kayla Dixon was another I enjoyed seeing for the first time.

When I saw the play on Friday last week, there were very few others in the theater.  That was very disappointing, as this is a play that DESERVES to be seen.  So, please, make plans to come out this weekend.  You need the laughs. 

Weekend Blessings and other Monday Musings

Saturday was time for the annual Blessing of the Pets, done by Rev. Kit Brinson of our church, Grace Episcopal.

In connection with honoring the work and life of St. Francis of Assisi, our church (as do many other Episcopalian churches), has a day where pets can be blessed.  We had it at a park that is about a mile away from our park, so we decided to take our dog posse and walk to it, all  three of us and our four dogs (the three permanent ones and a foster).  Alison said we were one dog short of having to get a parade permit.

We also had regular services on Sunday.  The Adult Sunday School class was back in full swing, and once again leading the way as probably the most open and interesting Sunday School class in Georgia, really one of the best hours of the week.

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We had the final Waygreen Local Market of the year.  Thanks so much to Elizabeth Welch and Crystal Simpson for their leadership and effort in preparing and manning the Writer's Guild booth.  It was very successful for us, and for the future growth of our Guild.  Many people bought journals infused with local writings, and I can't wait to see us expand and grow on the idea.

Waygreen is perhaps the most dynamic and popular event I have ever seen the Okefenokee Heritage Center do.  The Homestead Guild deserves a world of credit for putting it on, and giving it the room to be so much more than they even first imagined.  Local produce, local crafts, and local artists of all kinds are turning this into an important community event and gathering.  Writers, painters, craft people, farmers, musicians, artists of all kind have a place here, including (hopefully soon) actors.

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I started the slow process of query letters on my books.  Okay, well, I got out one, as the canary in the coal mine for my History of the Trap book.  More better be coming soon, as that is the best way for me to handle rejection - to have multiple queries, so I always have one to transfer my hopes to as the rejections come fast and furious.

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How 'bout them Wolverines and Falcons?  The Wolverines seem to be far of any pace projected for them, as they shut out their second opponent in a row, and the Falcons won their fourth without having to come from behind to do it.  The Bulldogs?  Well, no weekend is perfect.  And we still have tonight to see how the Lions do.......ok, well, honestly, that may not be much of a mystery.With the Lions, I have gone from dreaming of the Super Bowl, to hoping for the playoffs, and finally to just praying no one gets seriously hurt.

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So far, I haven't really seen a must-see new program yer on the TV.  I saw a second episode of Quantico, and I don't know how much more I can see, as it has still failed to grab me.  I've already decided against The Muppets and Minority Reports.  I'm kind of iffy about Scream Queens, but alison liked the first episode, so we'll see.

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We had another terrible mass shooting Thursday, and once again, there will be nothing done.  On Facebook, more people object to any common senses gun control measure as they do anything else.  A million lives lost since 1968 to gun violence does nothing to change their minds.  It is very discouraging and disheartening that we can't bridge the gap and accomplish even the simplest reforms.

Ellie:  I'm happy to be blessed, but now can we please get to the buffet table?

Until next time,

T. M. Strait

Christianity and Politics: Can a Christian be a FILL IN THE BLANK?

Yes, I've heard it before.  I've seen this question asked before.  I've asked it myself.  I've seen the confusion in people's eyes as they struggle for an answer that won't offend too much.

The non-verbals are horrible and negative, no matter what the nuances are.  Many just don't believe that they can be, and expressing it is just a matter of careful phrasing.  

The question?

Can a Christian be a Democrat?

Some of my readers who live in other areas may be surprised at that question.  But, believe me, it exists, and the answer is not pleasant.  Some may think it's possible, but only if you adopt a social conservative agenda and understand that welfare doesn't work, and the poor are poor because of their own lack of ambition and laziness. In other words, a DINO (Democrat In Name Only), maybe someone whose family was historically Democratic and you just haven't grown out of it yet.

Let me broaden the question.  Can a Republican be a Christian?  Can a conservative?  A liberal?  A libertarian?

The answer, of course, is yes.  Yes, they can.  For any of these viewpoints, it's no guarantee of anything, but it certainly doesn't void anyone out either.

There is no perfect match up between Christianity and political party.  If Jesus were here (and in my own faith, in a sense, I believe he is ALREADY here), his priority would be how you loved God, how you treated others, how we moved society to a better place, closer to the Kingdom of God (on Earth as it is in heaven).  I could see him leading social movements and protests, participating in acts of civil disobedience.  I could never see him wearing a hat for a particular candidate at a political convention.

Although there is a separation of church and state, as our government and officials should never be used to advocate or endorse any particular religion, faith or denomination, that is not to say that our politics cannot be influenced by our sense of morality and decency, whether religiously inspired or not.  Slavery was defended by people using religion and bible quotes, but it was also dismantled in part by people who believed in the morality of treating all human beings with dignity.  Christians have marched and joined protests to improve civil rights for minorities and women and children.

Don't ask whether you are a Christian by political party.  Ask it by what you do, by what you hold important.  Do you strive to feed the hungry?  Clothe the naked?  Shelter the homeless?  Defend the widow and the children and the poor?  Do you do this not only in your personal life, but in your church life, and in your civic life?  Do you believe in solutions that would help alleviate and diminish poverty and suffering?

There are all kinds of solutions to these problems, and they all over the political spectrum.  Conservatives can sincerely believe that the poor are not at fault and need to be helped and come up with conservative solutions to do that.  Liberals can show that they believe in social responsibility and consequences.

What Christians can't do is express blame and hatred of the poor.  They cannot be social Darwinists, who believe that prosperity is a result of God's blessings and that those who are poor, are poor because they are lazy and imperfect and fall short in the eyes of God.  You cannot hate and despise your neighbor, and also call yourself a Christian.

I think you can be for almost any of the candidates running for President, and make a case that you are a good Christian.  Some are more difficult than others, but it still can be done.

Well, except one.  One who, in my mind, represents the complete antithesis of what it means to be a Christian.

Can you be a Christian and support Donald Trump?

It's not impossible, I suppose.  Although.....

you better join that rich man and his camel in trying to get through the eye of the needle.

Welcome to the Wonderful World of Grandchildren

Okay.  Let me make clear first.  These are not MY grandchildren.  These are my parent's.  The first grandchild was my son, Gregory Roundtree Strait.  This may be one of the earliest pictures to feature the three generations.  Greg seems to have gotten the family smile down solid.  I've got the first beard I ever tried to grow.  Greg's hair darkened over time.  Mine did not.

Greg did not remain alone.  The two on the left are my sister's kids, Tiffany holding young Nicholas.  Greg holds a rather substantially sized toddler, Douglas Redwine Strait.  Nicholas looks at Doug with a combination of awe and fear.

Beach time with Grandma!  After retiring, my Dad bought a lake front house, and the boys would go to Michigan to visit for the summer.

The boys outgrew their Grandparent's height, but they never outgrew their love.

And finally, the late arrival!  Douglas holds the last grandchild to arrive on the scene, Benjamin Sloan Strait.  As you can see, for some unknown reason, my beard has changed colors.

I cannot begin to tell you how much joy and love they provided for my parents, and how much the grandkids got back in return.  

Tiffany recently had a child of her own, Bailey Margaret Burris, making my sister Carol a Grandmother, and now she can begin to experience the same joys that my parents did.

Me?  Not yet.  But I'll be ready when the time comes.