Smile, Darn Ya, SMILE!

Bit of a rant here, so you may want to skip this one.

I don't like it when people ask me to smile.  I must have a look on my face that makes people wonder if something's wrong.  Relax.  I'm just thinking.

This was particularly true when I was in school.  Socially shy, I was lucky to get up and down the hallways, much less look like I was giddy doing it.  Other kids would come up to me and say versions of this, "What's the matter with you?  Why don't you smile?"

"Why are you so sad?  SMILE!"

"Things would be better if you just SMILE!"

"Smile, DAMMIT!!!"

Here's a clue....trying to intimidate someone into smiling is not a good strategy.  Better to tell a joke, or smile at them.  And if the person doesn't come back to you and talk like Eeyore, then why are you worried about it?

I still get this kind of stuff once in a while, but not as much as I did when I was young.  I guess as you get to my age, people almost expect you to be more of a curmudgeon.

My mind just works different.  I don't associate artificial smiles with happiness.  I associate it with hiding your wallet.  If you're smiling at me, and we're not close friends, I fear that you want something, that you have an ulterior motive.  I associate excessive smiling with the great con artist swindler culture Americans are imbued in.

I also associate it with forced conversion.  JOIN US OR ELSE!  Like I'm in Invasion of the Body Snatchers and you're trying to get me to sleep near the pod.  Like you're one of those "Christians" who believe if you just say the right words and go through a carefully prescribed procedure, you'll be permanently converted to the born again life (not my view of how Christianity works, but that's a whole 'nother topic).

So please, if you don't see me smiling, realize I'm not mad.  I'm most likely just thinking, or I may be little socially awkward.  And if you still want to make me smile, then smile at me (as long as you're not trying to sell me something, or convert me), talk to me, say something funny.

Because I promise you this.....commanding me to smile is not going to work.