Blanketed with School Lunches

School lunches.  What a love/hate relationship that was.

My mother did not prepare a lunch for us to take.  And no, it did not occur to us to prepare one ourselves. So we always relied on school lunches.

Sometimes they were real challenges.   There was chipped beef over toast, which we called something else, fill-in-the-blank on a shingle.  There was goulash. ground beef with macaroni, sprinkled with some red substance that passed for tomato sauce.  There was a runny chocolate pudding that we called diarrhea pudding.  And there was the unknown block that we could only call mystery meat.

But not all was bad.  They would sometimes serve pizza.  You could get chocolate milk extra for the exorbitant price of 3 cents. And there was my favorite, pigs in a blanket, little hot dogs wrapped in a crescent roll.  I fully believed they were the hors-d'oeuvre of the gods.  The ultimate deliciousness that could be dunked in ketchup or mustard, or even both swirled together.  I must be a connoisseur, to have so much admiration and love for such a delicacy!

In college, I lived in a dorm for four years.  So I had plenty of time to sample university cafeteria food.  Meal plans were dramatically different than like when my son Doug went to college.  They had choices galore, every day a smorgasbord. Not so when I went to college.  There was Choice A or B, and if you didn't like either, well too bad so sad, better luck next meal.

There was a tendency to put a slice of pineapple on something and call it Hawaiian. Thus we often had such classics as Hawaiian Chicken, or Hawaiian Swiss Steak (yes, a delicious entree that would cause us to break out yodeling Aloha!).

The ladies that would serve us were bolder than their elementary and high school counterparts.  On days when chicken was served, they would leer at the guys and ask, "Are you a thigh man or a breast man?"  Yes, it was a different time and place.

There were few choices to make.  They did have soft serve ice cream in a serve-yourself machine.  Most of the time, there were toppings you could add, like sprinkles or chocolate sauce.  One time I got some soft serve vanilla, and then realized there had been no toppings set out.  I saw the only other option, a machine dispensing some Velveeta style cheese.  So in a fit of culinary ignorance, I poured it onto my soft serve ice cream.  Needless to say, the combination didn't work, although due to my slow reflexes, it took several bites before the horror fully sunk in,  The taste still haunts me to this day.  Even when I go to an ice cream parlor, and they offer a flavor like strawberry cheesecake,  just the suggestion of cheese in the title is enough to make me gag and turn away.

I have stepped out of the shadows of institutional lunches.  I still don't prepare my own lunch, most often just skipping the meal, or snacking.  I have come to have a better appreciation for school meals, as my wife, Alison, works in the school nutrition department.  I have seen them strive mightily to provide balanced, nutritional meals.  Benjamin has enjoyed breakfast and lunch there most of his school career.

I checked with Alison and they don't serve pigs in a blanket.  Well, probably not a very sound nutritional choice. Nevertheless, they have many fine, delicious items designed to be nutritional and tasty.  I applaud them for everything they do.

Of course, chocolate milk is now 50 cents.  Still cheaper than at a store or restaurant.  And just as refreshing and satisfying.