The Heat is On!

How hot is it?

It's so hot that it's too hard to go outside and figure out a joke to compare it to.

The gnats are swarming me even when I try to walk at 6:30 in the morning.

The real temperature is at or approaching 100.  The feels like temp is somewhere near the frying egg stage.

For me, this is what it's like to go outside for more than five minutes:

Thank you, Oprah.  I don't know about everybody.  But I sure do.

Some people actually thrive in this heat.  I don't.  Those who do thrive blame my "Yankee"  roots.

One:  I was born a Midwesterner, a Great Lakes residence, a Michigander - NOT A YANKEE. 

Two:  I've lived in Georgia since 1978 - longer than some of you Georgia birthers have been alive!

Three:  whatever my roots, my physiology is not conducive to hot weather.  I don't sweat much - I tend to go straight to heat stroke.


Many Southerners stay inside in frigid weather, particularly if there is even a hint of snow.  I'm that way with hot weather.  If it's over 95 and sunny, I'd rather stay in my air-conditioned house, read books and watch TV, eat and drink from the rations I have - time to break into the emergency kit!

The problem is that days over 90 (if not 95) are becoming the norm rather than the exception.  Nine to ten months a year are becoming unlivable.

Should I move?  Some might think so.  "STOP WHINING!  You don't like it here?  MOOOVE!!!"

Well, what can I say?  I kvetch, therefore I am.  Besides, this is where my family is.  And my job.  And my theatre groups.  And my parish.  I like the people (other than the majority's politics).  I just don't like the weather.  And I can fix that most days by just staying inside.

And frankly, there are getting fewer and fewer places to get away to, especially in the summer.  Michigan is not a summer nirvana - it gets hot and humid in July and August (and many places have no air conditioning), with mosquitoes that are large, mean and aggressive.

A couple years ago, we went to Vancouver and Portland for our summer vacation, thinking to find a cooler place.  Unfortunately, they were having record heat while we were there.  This summer, we will go to Toronto and Niagra Falls thinking to catch a break - that probably won't work either.

I've seen news stories about how parts of Arctic Alaska hit the mid-80s a couple weeks ago.

Escape may now be futile.

No single weather event or heat wave is directly tied to global warming.  But the rise in average temperatures across the planet is.  We're in big trouble, and I am losing faith that we're going to address it.

But never fear, my friends.  Cooler days are coming!  I should be able to comfortably go outside sometime in November.

Or maybe January.  Hard to say.