Chaptereth One
1
A stitch in pine...requires special equipment.
2
An unwalked monkey...won't play the accordion.
3
Verily, I say unto thee - you cannot collect your justly earned inheritance...without a lawyer.
4
Love is the foundation...bricks and mortar will keep it sealed. Be sure to wait for the banging to stop before you invite anyone else over.
5
If at first you don't succeed...try doing it louder.
6
Fool me once...shame on me. Fool me twice...I must be George Bush Jr. Fool me three times...I must be a Trump voter.
7
You cannot win if you don't...have a good lawyer. What can I say? Lawyers are important.
8
Spare the Rod...and spoil The Twilight Zone.
9
Give a man a fish, and it will fill him up. Teach a man to fish...on a lake you own so can charge him fees. Have a lawyer set it up. They're important.
10
Watch the skies.
11
Seriously. Watch the skies. You never know what's going to come out of them. Probing by aliens is no fun. And even if you get a good lawyer, aliens are really hard to sue.
12
A penny saved...is hardly worth the effort. Who knows? Like the Canadians, we might get smart, and just round amounts up or down and not even use pennies. But, wait. This is America, Scratch that. Keep the penny. At least use them for scratch-off lottery tickets. Don't use pennies to pay your lawyer. They will just laugh at you.
The first chapter of The Strait Line Book of Proverbs is brought to you by the law firm of...
Dewey, Cheatham & Howe
666 Mordor Parkway
Mar-A-Lago, Fl 33480
Suitsrus@lost.com
561-555-5555
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