Reflections on Being a Father

 Have I been a good father?

I truly don't know. I have done the best I can, and I genuinely love my boys.

My own father was very special. No, I'm sure he wasn't perfect. We didn't have a lot of father/son bonding time. He didn't play sports with me, and he worked a lot. His fishing and gardening hobbies did not match my personality well. He tried to share them with me, but I had little interest. He read some fiction when he was very young (Tarzan and books about a dog called Kazan) and when he was very old (mostly Westerns). He liked going to the movies, and I remember seeing one or two where it was just him and me.

But where he really shined was in the ethical and moral example of his own life. I learned more about Christianity in how he conducted his own life than I have from any church or book. He taught me about caring and hard work. Any job worth doing was worth doing right. He was, in addition to being my father, my high school principal. I never felt self-conscious about that - he was an outstanding educator, supported by teachers, students, and parents.

Yes, I have misgivings. But when I look at my three sons, it is hard not to be pleased with how they turned out.  

My oldest son, Greg, now 42, is a successful film editor in Los Angeles, working for Apple + TV. He travels to onsite locations, particularly the sports division. His prior job was as a brilliant film colorist, working on such shows as For All Mankind, The Outlanders, and Kevin Can Go Blank Himself. He lives far from me, and I wish I could see him more, but I love him very much.

My middle son, Doug, now 40, is a highly qualified environmental scientist, living in the Catskill Mountains and working for the City of New York, assisting with the water system that serves millions of people. He is married to the beautiful Paige, and they have one daughter, Retta (named after their mother). We had the honor and pleasure of seeing them for over a week in late May/early June, and I'm thrilled to report that my granddaughter took to us right away. I wish I could see them more, and I love them very much.

My youngest son, Benjamin, now 23, graduated on May 23 from Georgia College in Milledgeville in Computer Science and is currently a programmer with Warner Robins Air Force Base. We saw him just this last Saturday, spending the day with him in Warner Robins. I love him very much.

All three share some of my hobbies and interests. They all like comics and fantasy/sci-fi to one degree or another. None of them followed up in Community Theater, although all three were in one more play with me. Like my own Dad, we enjoyed going to the movies and have seen many together. Greg lives that love of movies and films in his work. Benjamin loves role-playing games and is a consummate Dungeon Master.

That is all good, but that is not what I am most proud of my boys for. They are all first-rate people who treat others with kindness and respect. They are polite and friendly with everyone. I don't want to upset my conservative friends, but the fact is they are all Progressives and vote for people who genuinely want to help other people.

How much of it can be credited to me? I'm not really sure. My two older boys had to go through the dissolution of my marriage to their mother. I tried to do that as right as I could, but no matter how careful you are, there is no perfect way to do that. I am sorry and feel very guilty for any scars that were left. 

I give much credit to their mother for her significant contributions in raising them and making them the incredible men they are today. I also give credit to Alison for her love and support of Benjamin and how she welcomed Greg and Doug. All three were always brothers—no one used the term half-brothers. So, yes, Doug and Greg also contributed to Benjamin's growth.

I know I made mistakes. A psychologist could have a field day with my mistakes. But thanks in large part to the contributions of those helping me, I think the boys are all right!

Well, more than all right.

They are FANTASTIC!!!

Beauty in the Catskills!

 

It has been a while since I've blogged. We were on a trip to the Catskill Mountains in New York State. 

Why? To visit with my middle son, Doug, his wife, Paige, and my one and only grandchild, Retta Lockett Strait!

We were told she might not take to us right away - she could be a little shy around strangers (further proving the genetic link between us). She had seen us on Facetime calls, but it had been at least nine months since we'd last seen her in person.

We were wrong to be concerned. She took to us almost right away. She came up to Alison and play-tickled her. But the party only really got started once she tickled me, and I finally figured out what fifty-plus years of community theatre was getting me prepared for.  To be the silly Grandpa. She loved my reaction and was soon sneaking up to tickle me every minute.

We went outside, and she began to gather flowers, which Alison helped her do. But when it came time to give away her bouquet, who did she give it to? ME!

At two years and two months, she was talking profusely and in complete sentences. We sometimes needed Doug to help translate, but that was fine. When Doug was a toddler, he also spoke complete sentences, and I helped translate what he said to others.

She called Alison Meme (pronounced Mee-Maw), but mine was a little trickier. She was not quite ready for the G sound in Grandpa, so I became Hanpa or Hampa (Ham fitting with my community theatre persona).

After a few days, we were set to babysit Retta. Doug and us were concerned about how she would handle being separated from her father, as there were some tears and clinging over trying to be at a daycare playtime with many adults and other kids around. Doug told us she might be upset when he first left but that she would get over it in time (he hoped).

But when he left, she transitioned to us right away without any tears or fuss. She loved spending time with us and playing different games, including hide-and-seek.

Retta is very much an outdoor cat. She loved being outside, walking, playing, or helping with many of the family's animals—goats, chickens, and the family dog, Barco. When we went on a really nice community path, she was highly observant, noticing a wide variety of insects, birds, and even a snake.

The Catskills are a perfect place for this extra special outdoor child.

The temperature never really rose much above 72. There was some rain here and there, but overall, it was so much more beautiful and comfortable than sweltering South Georgia.

Someday, we dream that we can move farther north and be closer, experience better weather, and, frankly, a better political environment. Most people are nice here, but it does get difficult with the extremism that surrounds us.

It was a lovely trip, and now we're back.

Already planning for the next trip!

My Weekly Reading

 Today is my middle son's birthday. Douglas Redwine Strait is 39 years old today! He is an environmental scientist and lives in the Catskill Mountains. More importantly, he is an amazing human being, kind and caring, warm and generous.  

He is also a devoted father and a wonderful husband. He and his partner Paige are supportive and loving.

He is raising my one and only grandchild, Retta Lockett Strait. The parents don't want social media pictures of her, which seems very wise given today's environment. So I can't show you what she looks like. Trust me - she is beautiful, intelligent, sweet-tempered, curious, and loving.

Our recent two-week visit with them was a highlight of my life. Even though I wasn't a Grandpa until age 66, Retta was worth the wait!

The thing I look forward to the most (besides plotting the next trip to see her) is being able to read to her through the magic of Facebook Messenger (or whatever it's called).  

I am planning a reading tonight, hopefully from the book pictured above. We have books where I have a copy, and she can look at a copy at home.

There is so much I am struggling against. The cruel war on the library and the LGBTQ community here is disturbing and exhausting. The fact that we are still fighting these battles in 2023 is depressing.  

I am trying to improve my physical condition, and it's difficult. It's vital that I check my progress each day, but it can be very discouraging, as it was today.

I'm used to quitting or withdrawing when I feel rejected, but as difficult as it is, I can no longer afford to quit when I get negative news.

But enough of that.

Tonight I get to read to my Granddaughter!

Huzzah!

T. M. Strait

Absentee Ballot

 

As you can see, Ellie is riveted by the soccer game between USA and Iran.  

Alison and I have become devoted soccer fans (or what is known everywhere else in the world as 'football'). We love Atlanta United in the MLS and the Portland Thorns in the NWSL. We are thrilled to have a competitive USA team in the World Cup/

But that's not my only reason for following the sport. It's a way for me to communicate with my far-flung older boys (Greg in Pasadena, California, and Doug in the Catskills of New York State). It gives this aging introvert a chance to text each other while we watch the games. I get to know more about their lives and just share everyday bonding. Do I love soccer? Yes. Do I love even more being able to share time with my boys? Absolutely!

Here's a picture of the celebration as America goes up 1 to 0 (the final score). Christian Pulisic dramatically gave up his own body to score the goal, colliding with the goalie, injuring himself, and was out the second half.  

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Oh yes. I forgot. The title of this post is Absentee Ballot.

We have a crucial election coming up. Georgia has a runoff and must decide between the professional and highly competent current Senator, Reverand Raphael Warnock, and Texas resident/Trump sycophant Herschel Walker. Seems like a no-brainer, but given the MAGA impulses that overrule common sense among many in this state. and the blind partisanship that leads people to vote for people THEY KNOW THEY SHOULD NOT, this election is much closer than it has any right to be.

Georgia Republicans, in a fit of voter suppression frenzy, have changed the runoff from nine weeks to four. They originally had scheduled only five days of early voting, with no Saturday voting (a big ef you to working voters). My son, Benjamin, is away at school and will not be here for the initially scheduled voting days.  

He started filling out an absentee ballot request form online a couple of weeks ago but hit bureaucratic snafus when it required steps that he could not readily complete. By the time he came to visit us for Thanksgiving, he had completed the form but had yet to mail it.

MEANWHILE...Georgia courts ruled that Saturday voting could not be barred. I read that some Georgia counties were now offering Saturday voting.  

We went to our county election board and discovered that our county was NOT offering Saturday voting. Okay, fine. Benjamin turned in his absentee ballot request. They looked at it, said it was fine, and that they would mail him an absentee ballot to his college address that day. I thought they could just give it to him, but that is not allowed. It has to be mailed. Fine.

I'm not trying to say anything negative about the election board. They have been friendly, polite, and helpful. They understandably have to follow the rules. They were also frustrated that the legislature had created such a tight turnaround time.

I checked with Benjamin this morning. He had yet to receive the absentee ballot. Look, Benjamin is very busy right now. He is trying to prepare for some very stressful finals and end-of-the-semester projects. He is trying to do the best he can.

At this point, if he gets the ballot, he'll have to overnight it to be sure it gets back in time. Do I hate the idea that he has to, in essence, pay to have his vote counted? I'm not thrilled, but the vote counting means more to us at this point.

Benjamin is not alone in this. Post-election analysis shows that GEN Z (Benjamin's generation) had an outsized effect on the election. Young people made a difference.  

So, this runoff will be hard for many college students to turn around in time.

But that's not a bug of the Republican election changes. It's a feature. They want to minimize the youth vote, and this is a wicked clever way to accomplish that.

I wish Georgia would go to an instant runoff system like they have in Alaska and Maine. Then we wouldn't have to go through this mess.

But Georgia probably won't do that. It makes too much sense.

Until next time,

T. M. Strait

Proud Warnock Voter

Maximus Important Announcement

 No pictures.

No politics.

Just the proudest announcement of my lifetime.

At 66 years old, I AM NOW A GRANDFATHER!

I have a GRANDAUGHTER!

Retta Lockett Strait

March 22, 2022

About 6 lbs and 19 inches.

She is the most beautiful, gorgeous thing on Earth, and she has the most wonderful parents, Doug and Paige.

Alison (herein known as Mema) and I (now referred to as Grandpa) are beside ourselves with joy and happiness.

I cannot share pictures of her on social media, but trust me, she and her parents are stunning.

Current plans are not to visit until July.  They live a ways away from us. I don't know if I can wait that long.

We are bursting with joy!

Garden Style Wednesday Wanderings: Keeping Your Distance 20

First Wandering Check-In - the Garden.

It's grown beyond the cedar gardening box - see all the starter pots around it!

Most of the taller stuff you see are tomatoes.  There are starting to bud little yellow flowers, which Alison says are preliminary to the tomatoes coming.  Alison loves homegrown tomatoes, so that's a central part of our garden start.  We also have lettuce that Alison started hydroponically, from leftover lettuce stems she got from the school.

We have also recently added broccoli, zucchini, and basil.  They're just starting to peek through the soil.

In the future, we hope to add potatoes, sweet potatoes, and carrots.  We have seeds ordered for those.

We may need to get more cedar planters.

Personal Health

I feel pretty good, but my diet has stalled.  The fallback has not been severe, but it has been enough to halt weight loss.  My excuses?  The lockdown, my erratic work schedule, stress.  Another biggie is with Benjamin being home; we tend to more treat/comfort meals.

But these are just excuses.  The biggest responsibility is mine.  I'm the one who got off track.  I'm the one who needs to have the strength of character to get back on track.

Nevertheless, the work I've done, improving my overall health gives me a better chance should I contract the coronavirus.  A chance, though - no guarantees.  The disease has been rough on even relatively healthy people.

The Work World

For me personally, I should be entering a period of fewer accounting work hours.  This may be true for the rest of the year.  The summer audit I'm normally involved with I won't be participating in - our firm is not doing it this year.  Hopefully, this will help me establish a limited but consistent work routine,

Not so for most of my fellow Georgians.  Whether they like it or not, safe or not, most of them will have to go back to work, thanks to the incredible stupidity of Georgia's Governor, Brian Kemp.  Alison may have to resume a full-time schedule next week, as will other school staff and teachers.  No students yet.  They are still scheduled to start next Fall.

The whole state seems to have lost its mind.  We're returning to normal at a time when cases and deaths have yet to peak.  I am fearful and discouraged.

No One Can Predict What Happens Next

I don't know for sure what happens next.  Maybe a vaccine comes more quickly than one has ever come before.  Maybe it helps cut off the dreaded second wave that is projected for the Fall.

Maybe people who've had it have developed an immunity.  Maybe herd immunity is a real thing.

I don't know.

But I don't think so.

And the way many parts of the world (including many American states) are behaving, I think 1) the first wave will last longer than it needs to, and 2) the second wave will be genuinely frightening.

First Facebook Live Call

Doug had birthday number 36 Monday, and we had our first Facebook Live with him and Greg in California.  Alison, Benjamin and I were on it together.  Technologically, I don't know how it worked, but it did.  Thank goodness I had nothing to do with it.  Alison just answered her phone, and it was there, like magic.  Voila!

Everyone is doing well.  Doug can work from home, for the most part.  He and Paige are tending their garden (our inspiration for our own), their bees and chickens and rabbits, and finishing some household projects to complete their home renovation.  Greg is still working, although Hollywood's slowdown is affecting him.  He is helping put together a special episode of All Rise, an episode set from different actor's home and such, set in the COVID-19 pandemic, and how the various characters are trying to continue on with essential legal work, even from social isolation. 

Be Safe

No matter where you are, no matter how incompetent your President and/or your state and local leaders are, no matter how irrational and incautious some around you behave - please strive to stay as safe as you can.  Stay home if you can.  Keep social distance when you have to go out.  Wear masks.  

Love,

Tom

Bossy Tuesday Tidbits

Yep.  Love to stay home and write today, but my bossy schedule determines otherwise.  Sorry, Boss-A-Man.  I will need to go into work at least some today.

Party Weekend!

Both Doug and Benjamin were home for the weekend!  We had a great time just hanging out with each other.  Brought in Surchero's to eat (a local burrito place with assembly similarities to Chipolte and Subway) and watched the movie Knives Out, a clever little mystery/thriller. 

Personal Health

Still staying on track!  Making progress in losing weight and lowering blood pressure and glucose readings.  I slipped a little this weekend with the boys, but not as much as I feared.  My sweet tooth has disappeared, and I fill up faster than I used to.  I thought that I would crave sweets a lot on this dietary change, but I do not.  My largest cravings center around cheeseburgers and sandwiches.

MLS starts!

We got a new 4K TV and were able to watch the Atlanta United season opener with Doug.  Game looked awesome.  Atlanta won, but in doing soon, they may have won the battle but lost the war.  Their superstar player, Josef Martinez, was injured in the game.  We found out later it was a torn ACL and that he may be out six to nine months. 

Super Tuesday:  The Democratic Establishment Strikes Back!

The Democratic Party establishment, the Corporate Democrat Empire, is coalescing to oppose the last of the Jedi Knights, Bernie Sanders.  Joe Biden wins his first primary in 32 years of running for President, and suddenly it's like the race is over.  And everyone seems to be forgetting that the ideal candidate (our Princess Leia) is waiting in the wings.  What the heck, people.


Well, I would love to write more, but this time of year is tough to write or even get the mental space to think about WHAT to write.  As I'm between novels, I really am trying to squeeze out a good short story idea, one that might break into a science fiction magazine, and I am having no luck.

Anyhoo, have a great day!  Heck, have a SUPER TUESDAY!

T, M, Strait

Merry Christmas One and All!

Merry Christmas, one and all!

From the Straits

Tom 

Alison & Benjamin

Doug & Paige

The Happy Father, Doug the Groom & Greg the Best Man

Skitty

Cocoa Bear

Ellie

Pixie

Boss-A-Man

Merry Christmas!

Merry Merry Christmas!

From our little family!

The Selfie Master's Monday Musings

Oh, yeah!

Ain't nobody can do selfies the way I can do selfies.

It was our annual trip to watch our favorite team, Atlanta United, at Mercedes Benz Stadium (don't get me started about how disgusted I am to have stadiums named after corporations - I'm just going to overlook it this time).

It was a great game, although it took the full ninety minutes for United to kick it into high gear, finally winning 3 - 1.  Our star player, Josef Martinez, was hurt, and we await word on the extent of his injury but are praying for the best outcome.

The best thing about Atlanta United games is that it is not just a game, it's like being invited to a big party.  A large, diverse crowd, watches a diverse group of talented players engage in non-stop action from beginning to end.  We are on our feet, virtually the entire game.  There are no breaks in the action, no commercials, just movement, and excitement.

We started the weekend by picking up Benjamin from Georgia College.  I can't begin to tell you enough good things about how well Benjamin fits into college there.  Multiple organizations, achieving in his classes, many friends, loving the dorm and the Maxx (college cafeteria).  Alison and I couldn't be prouder of him. 

We spent time with Doug & Paige.  They are working hard at a sustainable home.  They have solar panels and an extensive home garden.  They have bees for honey, and chickens for eggs, and bunnies for...uh...poop (fertilizer) and hair (clothing?).  All this in a suburban Atlanta neighborhood.

The food was awesome over the weekend, including greek food from Milledgeville's Metropolitan Cafe, and burgers/sandwiches.salads from Brookhaven's best burger place, Lucky Dog.  But the best was delicious homemade meals from Paige, including pancakes, banana muffins, and three different kinds of calzone!

We also got to a new antique mall, where I picked up nine new record albums (new to me), from great artists including Linda Ronstadt, Loretta Lynn, Dolly Parton, and Olivia Newton-John!  The mall was fun but somewhat spoiled by a prominent rack of Trump 2020 hats.  I wanted to ask when they would be getting in the Warren 2020 hats, but alas, I lacked courage.

Our bestiary was well-covered, thanks to our friend, Trent Dixon, coming in and watching our pets for us.  He did an excellent job, and we much appreciate it!  It helped ensure that our trip away was stress-free for our dogs.  Our kitty, Skitty, barely noticed.

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Now I'm back, and I am taking advantage of my semi-retired status and staying home.  I have to re-review lines from the play (starting Double Hell weeks with a rehearsal almost every night for the next two weeks - performances begin on Thursday, October 3rd!).

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With so much good news, don't get me started on the Wolverines. Michigan is not mighty this year.  Maybe they'll improve as the year progresses, but right now?  They look terrible.  Rutgers might be a challenge.

I miss Brady Hoke.  There.  I said it.

Seriously, I have no idea where Michigan goes from here.

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Yeah.  As usual, there are a lot of terrible things going on with Trump.  Encouraging foreign interference in our election?  "Oops!  I did it again!"

Alison, ready to watch her favorite team!

Go United!

New Roads Monday Musings

I am trying to cope with the change.  I am trying to deal with my three sons now all away from home.  My oldest is all the way to Calfornia, where he is a successful film editor, specializing in coloring and bringing to life the flat tones of the original filming. Look for his credited work this Fall in the new CBS drama All Rise!

My middle son lives in metro Atlanta, and is a successful Professional Engineer working in the environmental field.  He is married to the beautiful and talented Paige, and they have a home together in a wonderful house where they have solar panels and gardens and bees. 

And now, my youngest son is away at college.  He is starting his post-secondary academic career at Georgia College & State University in Milledgeville.  I'm proud of the way he's taken to it so far.  He has gotten out of the dorm room and met new people.  He has joined the choir.  He attended church and has started up with the Episcopal Youth Group.

Not that things have been tear-free.  Church was particularly hard yesterday, especially the singing.  We were very conscious that his voice was not there next to ours.  There were some more tears during a phone call on Sunday afternoon.

Alison and I are trying to fill our lives with some new roads.  I am once again in theatre, joining the cast of WACT's Murder on the Orient Express.  That's not only practice time, but time taken to learn lines - the older I get, the greater the struggle that is.

Readers of this blog may have noticed that some blog entries are now audio.  Thanks to Benjamin's help, I have finally begun to take baby steps towards a potential audio career.  Hopefully, I will get more polished as time goes on.

We've completed some series binge-watching, recently completing Legion (intriguing but weird - I hate to say it - may be almost too weird), and the first season of You (intense by Lifetime standards).  We're now moving on to the last season of Preacher.

Some familiar roads have also been left behind.  I am moving away from the Writer's Guild.  Five plus years of trying to sustain it have been wearing to me, and I have to take a break from it.  There are some ideas to move forward, but I have to backburn for awhile.  It has to grow to exist without my consistent involvement. 

Right now, I'm still involved in a summer audit at work, so that should keep me occupied this month. 

And Labor Day Weekend is coming soon.  And that hopefully means a visit from Benjamin!

The roads are winding.  The roads are new.

But they're still there.  And they can be traveled.

Brewing Up a Fantastic Wedding

Doug and Paige got married Saturday!

Yes, my middle son, Douglas Redwine Strait, married the love of his life, Paige Harwood, in a beautiful ceremony, set in a brewery.

The brewery, Monday Night Brewery,  was quite large, with two different bars/restaurants, and a great warehouse/hall to hold a wedding.  I'm hard-pressed to think of a better facility for their wedding.

The ceremony itself was very special.  I read a scripture reading, one from Colossians, and also participated in giving the bride way (well, I asked, "Who gives this woman to be the bride of this man?"  I rehearsed that line more than any line in my life, and I was still terrified I would get it wrong.

The minister for the wedding was Paige's father, whose personal and affecting words brought many of us close to tears.  I had never heard a sermon filled with such warmth and love.

And now, for the random picture section;

We wait in awe as Paige and her father walk down the aisle.  I'm in the center, preparing for my two minutes.  Next two me is Doug, Greg, and two good high school friends of Doug, Roderick, and Ryan.

Here they are, waiting for the big wedding to start; Paige, her maid of honor Bethany, and Doug and Greg.  It was hard to figure out when to take pictures.  They had professional photographers who even came out to their homes and took pictures of people getting ready.  I did not see many others taking pictures - I was afraid maybe it was against the rules.

The other bridesmaid was Shannon Thrift, who at one time lived in Blackshear.  I knew her from some of the plays we were in, and she came and babysitted our pets when we went on a trip.  She also met Doug and became friends, although at some distance, as they went to separate schools.  This turned out to be a big plus because when Paige met Doug, she had Shannon's endorsement of Doug's character.

Doug danced with Alison for the Mother/Son dance.  They have had a good relationship for years now, and I was touched that Doug asked, and I thought their dance, to Louis Armstrong's What A Wonderful World, was special and sweet.

As much as I loved it, I do wish that Doug's mother could have been there for this.  She passed several years ago, but I know how much this wedding would have meant to her.  Doug's strengths and character come in large part from her,  and she would have loved Paige and the wedding.

I wish the young couple all the best, and I look forward to participating in the experience of their lives together, and to now having a beautiful, talented, kind and caring daughter-in-law!  How sweet it is to say those words!

Walking the Talk

My son, Doug, is an environmental scientist.  He works at an environmental firm in the Atlanta area.  He has earned his P.E. (Professional Engineering) certificate and has worked on the environmental side of projects throughout the southeast.

Unlike his Dad, Doug doesn't just talk about the environment. Not only does he work in an environmental field, but also now that he is a homeowner, he is adapting his home to be as environmentally friendly as possible.

In the picture above, you see Doug and Benjamin putting on some finishing touches to some gardening boxes they are going to have in the front yard.  They hope to grow their own vegetables, herbs, and fruit.  They are helping the idea of urban gardening come to life.

They have also installed solar panels on the roof of their house.  They are awaiting a battery that will help them use built up charges, but they will soon be off the grid, contributing more energy than they use.  For this service to Georgia Power,  the utility company will be charging them a monthly connect fee, even though they are increasing NOT DECREASING Georgia Power's bottom line.

It's just one small way that the state of Georgia has decided to fight renewables rather than progress the state forward.  Utility profits are more important than moving the state forward in combatting global warming.

They also have a battery operated electric car, the Nissan Leaf!

So, my son is doing more than Senator Dianne Feinstein from California.  Yes, it's true.  She may have here own plan in mind that she feels is superior than participating in the Green New Deal.  Yes, it's true.  The video of her confrontation with the children advocating for the Green New Deal was only a snippet of her meeting with them.  Nevertheless, it does not look good, and her attitude toward them is not promising.

Doing things like Doug is doing, as individuals, is very important.  But it won't stop what's coming.  That will take changes in government attitude, fixes in law and regulations.  And congressional representatives, even Democratic ones who understand that doing something is important, may have to be pushed to move faster and more decisively.

And that will only happen with activism.  And like the civil rights era, sometimes that will seem noisy and impolite.  The time for quietly sitting in line behind the lobbyists is over.  It will take a non-violent protest.  It will take efforts that will cause attention and fuss.

The quiet children, the polite children, the ones who wait in line, will get ignored.

The stakes are too high.

Time to make some noise!

Ralphing it Up Thanksgiving Weekend Wednesday Wanderings

Thanksgiving Weekend was a big weekend for Ralph at the Strait Household!

No, I don't mean eating until you feel like ralphing, although some of us did teeter on the edge of that.

I mean we rented Wreck-It Ralph, and then saw Ralph Breaks the Internet at the theatres.

I thought the first movie was entertaining, and the second one a little less so, although I did enjoy the parts with the Disney princesses - funny and smart marketing by the Disney people.  I admit to falling asleep a bit during chase scenes in both movies.  I think everyone else in the family enjoyed the movies more than I did.

Doug and Paige visited us from Thursday until Saturday and saw the movies with us.  They were great company, and the biggest news I have is they have moved up the wedding form October to May!  That's almost around the corner! Well, it's closer to the corner than October, that's for sure!

Dinner highlights included cornbread dressing, made sweet and delicious by Alison's mother.  My Yankee friends have no idea what they're missing if they haven't had this southern style treat.  I also made my squash casserole, which is mostly cheese and crackers with squash as a binding agent.  I love the stuff, and so do most others, even those who usually don't eat squash (like me).

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Well, football sucks.  At least if you are a fan of the Michigan Wolverines, Detroit Lions or the Atlanta Falcons.  But take heart!  The Georgia Bulldogs are still in the mix, and our high school football team, the Pierce County Bers, are in the semi-finals of the state playoffs!

And talking about football, when it comes to what the world more commonly knows as football, soccer, the achievements of Atlanta United have been quite exciting!  They won the first leg of their conference championship 3 -0 against a team that had been dominating them, the New York Red Bulls, and now the Red Bulls will have to win by a three-point margin in the second leg to tie, or a four-goal or better margin to win outright.  They do have the advantage of playing the second game in the Red Bull arena, but those kind of margins are not typical in soccer games.  So we have high hopes of appearing in the championship game December 8th!  Woohoo!

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So, Cindy Hyde-Smith joins the Racist Squad by Mississippi still being backward enough to vote for such a horrendous person.  The Racist Squad's most prominent members now feature Governor-Elect Ron Desantis, Congressman Steve King, and President Donald Trump.  There are others, but these are some of the most prominent Racist Squad leaders.

Maybe in time, we can remove these scummy stains on humanity, but that time ain't here yet.  At least not for some areas of the country.  Sigh.

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I will be at Christmas in the Cross Saturday, hawking my book warns.  Please check out all the fun and excitement at this event.  Even if it rains, I will be inside.  Can't let my books get wet.

I avoid too much posting of material acquisitions, but I can't resist a picture of Alison's new car, a 2017 Subaru Outback!  She has been driving the same car for 14 years - a 2004 Toyota Camry, so please don't be jealous that she got a new one.  The Camry is still in the family and will be Benjamin's primary car now.  He can even take it to college with him.

I remember when we got the Camry, I had taken then three-year-old Benjamin out to see it by behind the little house we were living at the time, and told him, "Son, this is going to be your first car!"

And, by Golly, guess what?

IT IS!!!

Triple Treat Weekend

What a weekend!

First, we travel to Athens and take part in a tour of the University of Georgia, one of Benjamin's leading contenders for college next year.  This time, we got to listen to one of their young students take us and highlight many of the places that make UGA unique.  Benjamin also got to ask lots of questions.

The answers we got were positive, and UGA remains in prime contention.  It is the biggest school he is considering, and the farthest away. 

Second, Alison and I were fortunate enough to be able to use Doug's season tickets and see Atlanta United perform at Marcedes Benz Stadium in Atlanta.  This was Alison's first professional soccer game, and she loved it! Not only did Atlanta win, but we also witnessed an MLS record, with Josef Martinez scoring a hat trick  (3 goals in one game) for a record-setting 6th time!  No other MLS player has ever that many hat tricks!

Thirdly, we attended the engagement party of Doug and Paige.  Remember, faithful readers, we witnessed Doug's proposal on our Ireland trip!  We got to meet some of their friends, and Paige's wonderful parents.

That is just a brief summary of a super weekend.  I am trying to get back into the hang of writing, as my schedule has been somewhat a jumble, and I'm still trying to get over some of the problems with my most recent post about remembering our time with Jeff & Vijaya, the celebrity couple we spent time almost two decades ago at Pogofest.

I'm starting to hit another snag, in that I'm going to be needing to get around a lot earlier the next month, as I should be starting my workday earlier.  Leisurely mornings will be fewer for a while.  This will affect the blog some, but fiction writing a whole lot.  It's hard to get a good rhythm going. 

Have a good day!

T. M. Strait

Pictures Sell Monday Musings

It is times like this that I realize I didn't take any pictures of the weekend.  In this case, it's the entire Thanksgiving break.  Even though I know from the statistics collected on my blog, that blog posts with pictures are viewed more than blog posts without pictures.

It's mostly a trick.  People scroll through their Facebook feed and see something from me, and it has a picture, they're more likely to click on it to see more.  Of course, once they do, I think the reaction often goes like this - "Oh, look!  That's a nice picture!  I wonder if there's more.  (CLICK)  Nahh...there's just words.  Bye!"  But what do I know?  I get to pretend they actually read what I wrote.  Delusion is the path to grandeur.

I took no pictures of my trip to Augusta.  Alison won a two night stay there at the Marriot, and that made it a very affordable option for our 21st-anniversary trip.  So I have no pictures of the beautiful hotel, the city, the river, our restaurant meals (hey, some people do take pictures of those).

I got nothing to show that we saw two movies at the movies theatre over the break, Murder on the Orient Express and Coco.  Murder on the Orient Express was pretty good, an old-fashioned all-star vehicle, whose ending was not a surprise to those who've read the book or have seen the first movie version of it.  Coco was a movie that was slow to catch my interest, but when it did (about halfway through) I thought it was awesome.  We also saw the 2016 movie, The Birth of a Nation, from the comfort of the living room.  It was an important movie, that took a while to build to its central conflict, but it was significant nonetheless.  It went farther to explain America's obsession with guns than anything I've seen since Bowling for Columbine.  It's white fear that they will be called to account for their oppression and exploitations.

I don't have any pictures of the fantastic visit we had with my middle son, Doug, and his marvelous girlfriend, Paige.  She fixed us Bagels, and bread, and an apple pie that had the best crust I ever done et. They were at our house for Thanksgiving, as was our good friend, Anita Lynn, and had a great meal, and Thanksgiving Game Night.

I have no pictures.  I'm not an instinctive camera person.  I'll try to do better in the future.  I promise.

Two Goal Weekend!

Gooooaaal!

I was DeeLighted to spend last weekend with my son Doug and his girlfriend Paige.  

The highlight was a trip to Atlanta's new stadium, Mercedes Benz Stadium (one more time - the only downer to the place is the stupid corporate name attached to it), watching the new sport sensation, Atlanta United, the MLS (Major League Soccer) team who, in it's first year, is already in solid competition for a playoff spot!

We got there early, and this is a picture of the stadium before people were seated.  As early as we arrived, there were still plenty of people walking the outside ring, which was filled with a festive atmosphere, and vendors selling food and drinks at remarkable prices.  A souvenir cup with unlimited refills was $4.  We got cheese nachos for $3, and a huge pretzel for $2.

The seats were comfortable with great views, and......THEY GOT DRINK HOLDERS!!!

At half time, they watered the field.  Not quite sure why, given it's artificial turf in a domed stadium, but.....there you go.

In reviewing the pictures I took, I was surprised to see I didn't take any pictures of the soccer action.  Sorry.  I was too busy being mesmerized by the nonstop movement.  It's pretty much continuous once they start playing.

I am thrilled to report that Atlanta United beat the Montreal Impact 2 - 0!  This puts them in third place in their division (the top six teams go to the playoffs)!  This is an extraordinary showing for a first year expansion team!

Meanwhile, before the United game started, there were dozens of TV screens showing the other Mercedes-Benz team, the Atlanta Falcons, playing a game in Detroit against my beloved, beleaguered Lions.

Which curse would rule?  The Falcons giving up a lead, or the Lions having touchdowns taken away by the refs?

Yeah, the Lions had a spectacular drive with only a minute left, score spectacularly with only eight seconds left, and then have the refs review it, take it away, put in a ten second run off, and end the game without giving the Lions one last play.

So, end of story.  The Lions, last time as national champions in 1957, are more cursed than the Falcons.  So there.

Oh, the cliche of it all!  I took a picture of my food from an Irish restaurant in Atlantic Station.  It's Bangers and Mash, washed down with a Guinness Half and Half!  It is kinda symbolic of a trip next year we are taking to ....Ireland!  Yes, Doug, Paige, Alison and I are going to that Emerald Isle in 2018!

The best food I ate too quickly, and failed to get a picture of.  Paige made homemade bagels that were the best ever, just the right taste and texture.  I also came home with some delicious homemade bread she made.  Delicioso!

It was a fantabulous trip, and I look forward to their visiting us very soon!

Out of the Box Monday Musings

We got it a few years ago, but the rules looked so complicated that we just passed, and left it moistly wrapped up.  But with my middle son, Doug, here this weekend, we decided to give it a try.  Benjamin and Doug tried to make sense of the rules, but we finally watched some videos on YouTube to get the hang of it.

Because that's the way it's done now.  There are videos on YouTube now that explain how to do most anything you can think of.  No more instant customizing of games as you try to figure out the rules and wind up redesigning the game to fit your own understanding.

Even playing a commonly played board game like Monopoly can be fraught with peril, as every one you bring in who has not played with you before inevitably says something like "That's not the rules! That's not how you play the game!"

Firefly: Out of the Box was okay.  It is a kind of game where you win or lose as a team, rather than try to fight each other.  I'm still not sure we got the rules completely right, because it was fairly easy for us to win.  Or maybe we are just an unusually cooperative bunch.

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We didn't go to  the movie theater, which is usually the case when Doug visits.  The movies playing lacked any "must-see" pictures, so instead we brought in Rancheros (a local Mexican fast food choice similar to Moe's and Chipolte's) and watched the classic Galaxy Quest, a movie Benjamin and Alison had not seen before.  The movie is great fun, a wonderful balance between comedy and action.

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There is a lot I haven't gone into about Doug and his marriage to Ramya.  There is a lot there, and much of it is personal to them, and I don't feel like it is my place to write about it.  Suffice to say it didn't work out, pretty much from the beginning, and they never really lived together as a married couple.  It was a very hard thing to work through, but it is finally resolved.  Had they been Catholic, it probably could have become annulled in the first week.

Suffice to say, it has been final several months now, and Doug is finally stepping back into the dating world.  Alison and I are thrilled to see this. It is great to see Doug happy again.

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Doug left Sunday.  I was not feeling well, but we managed to get through church.  I got home with a slight fever, and my fake gout was beginning to flare up again.  It rears its head every couple of years (the last time was June 2014), and I was due.  I tried to take it easy, but it did mean I missed a performance by my favorite young thespian (well, my favorite next to Benjamin), Emily Beck, who was performing in some skits at Flying dragon, including Sandy in Grease.  My sincere apologies to Emily and her mother, my good friend Kimberly.

This morning my fever is gone, but my fake gout is not.  My foot may be in pain several weeks, if past incidents are prologue.

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So using Strait rules, without a fever - I go to work.

That's okay, though.  After completing a strenuous audit that runs several weeks, I am going to use some of my over-accumulated vacation time, and be off work this Wednesday all the way through Labor Day.  Am I going anywhere?  No, just to the world of imagination.  I hope to move forward on My Europa and other writing projects as much as I can.

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Doug has helped us catch soccer fever (different than my actual fever Sunday), and we watched our "adopted" team, the Portland Timbers, beat the Seattle Sounders 4 to 2.  We both agree right now that pro soccer is better than pro football.  Of course, that is probably colored by the fact that we are Lions and Falcons fans.

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Trump continues his miserable, foul performance.  I still run across people who suggest that Hilary is equally as bad,  Uhhh, no, no she is not.  And to even suggest that represents a profound misunderstanding of the incredibly nasty and dangerous depths Trump is sinking this country to.  He needs to be dismantled and humiliated if this country even has the most remote chance of moving forward.


Until next time,

T. M. Strait

Sailing Away

She was 27.  I was 23.

We weren't supposed to meet, but we did.

I lived in Michigan.  That is where I grew up, and if I ever wanted to move, I only wanted to move farther north.  It did not snow enough in the Thumb of Michigan to suit me.

My best friend, Evans Bentley, went to Emory Theological School near Atlanta.  He had a long time girlfriend, whom he had met at Michigan State University, that had recently dumped him.  I felt bad for him.  My own life was in kind of an upheaval...I had taught one year of high school, and I was not going to be invited back for a second year.  I had no girlfriend, and not much of anything else.  I was not sure where to go or what to do next.

I decided that summer of '78 to go visit him at Emory and console him.  I would then go on to Florida to see a girl who had moved down there, and I thought might have an interest in me.

By the time I got to Emory, he had already found another girlfriend, and needed no consoling whatsoever. They arranged for me to have a blind date with a friend of his new girlfriend, but she wouldn't be there for a day or two.  Meanwhile, this girl, Betsy South, was being visited by a different friend of hers, whose name I first thought was Loretta, but gradually figured out was Retta.

We all decided to do a few things together.  Why not?  The girl they really wanted me to meet would not be there for awhile.  I thought Retta asked me if I liked to go "selling"  which I thought was a kind of different question to ask someone, until I finally realized from Evans, that she was asking if I liked "sailing".  It would take a little time before I got used to the accents down here.

We did sail, across Lake Lanier.  We camped out.  We climbed Stone Mountain.  We ate at nice Southern restaurants.  And we talked.  And talked.  And her accent no longer became an issue.

I finally met the girl I was supposed to meet.  She was a rather large framed girl, who mostly bragged about how she had gone to a fancy Atlanta restaurant on top of a skyscraper, and had spent tons of money on a huge meal.  Somehow, there was no attraction there.  Besides, I had found another.

A few days later, I returned to Michigan (without having gone to Florida). She visited over Labor Day Weekend, having come up with Evans and Betsy.  She returned, but I could not stop thinking about her.  By mid-October, we were engaged.  On October 31st, Halloween. I moved to Georgia, where I still am to this day.  By the end of December, we were married.

We had two fine boys, Gregory Rountree and Douglas Redwine.  We did everything we could to make a life together, and there was love.

But not everything always works out.  I have no interest in a Baptist style testimonial, with one side confessing, or even worse, blaming the other.  We made it work for quite awhile, because we both cared for each other and our children, but it did end.  At least in being married and sharing a home.

Although not close afterwards, we were never hateful or angry with each other.  Not every action we took was perfect.  Mistakes were made.  But we did do the most important thing right.  We raised both our boys to be outstanding young men.  Since she had primary custody, this was almost entirely related to her and her strength and love.

I remarried.  So did she.  Both of our second marriages were better for us, finding people that suited our basic nature.

Four years ago, Retta was diagnosed with Stage Four cancer.  She battled it valiantly, having more good days than bad.  On Sunday, November 22nd, she lost that battle, my boy Doug at her side.

The funeral Tuesday demonstrated how well loved she was in the small community she had moved to with her husband.  Everyone was impressed with Greg and Doug, what fine gentleman they were, and how much they loved their mother.

You can love someone without being able to live with them.  I loved you and I still love you, Retta.  We may not have been the match we dreamed of being to each other, and  found our own paths to happiness, but we raised two extraordinary boys.

And that's something to be proud of.

Welcome to the Wonderful World of Grandchildren

Okay.  Let me make clear first.  These are not MY grandchildren.  These are my parent's.  The first grandchild was my son, Gregory Roundtree Strait.  This may be one of the earliest pictures to feature the three generations.  Greg seems to have gotten the family smile down solid.  I've got the first beard I ever tried to grow.  Greg's hair darkened over time.  Mine did not.

Greg did not remain alone.  The two on the left are my sister's kids, Tiffany holding young Nicholas.  Greg holds a rather substantially sized toddler, Douglas Redwine Strait.  Nicholas looks at Doug with a combination of awe and fear.

Beach time with Grandma!  After retiring, my Dad bought a lake front house, and the boys would go to Michigan to visit for the summer.

The boys outgrew their Grandparent's height, but they never outgrew their love.

And finally, the late arrival!  Douglas holds the last grandchild to arrive on the scene, Benjamin Sloan Strait.  As you can see, for some unknown reason, my beard has changed colors.

I cannot begin to tell you how much joy and love they provided for my parents, and how much the grandkids got back in return.  

Tiffany recently had a child of her own, Bailey Margaret Burris, making my sister Carol a Grandmother, and now she can begin to experience the same joys that my parents did.

Me?  Not yet.  But I'll be ready when the time comes.