New Coast 2

It’s a fine day in da Big Apple! The Mighty Dyke is holding back, despite the windy day and threatening sky. What can I say? A few floods and all the chickens vamoose. Not me. I’m sticking it out, come hell or high water! Ha! Dat’s funny!

I’m Ernie, by the by. Birth name’s Ernesto, but I like the feel of Ernie better. Makes me feel more American, but I got no problem with Ernesto either, if that’s what youse wants to use. I love this country, and I love Puerto Rico too. Really should be a state, at least what’s left of it, but that’s a whole different scenario, knowhutimean?

So here I am pecking away at this computer, communicatin’ with who the hell knows, for who the frak knows why. I think I’m just trying to reach out, let everybody know not to give up on the NYC yet. Also curious to know how things are going elsewhere. So glad Alfredo let me know about this. Internet sucks on this rock, don’t quite know how this is function-atin’, just grateful that it is.

Yeah, I know, at one time there were millions o’ people in Manhattan. I just want to make sure you knew that even though everyone thinks it’s shut down, there are still people here. Maybe not millions, but there are hundreds of thousands. Okay, I don’t precisely know, but I’m guessing anywheres from 300K to a half a million. But this is, whaddayacallit, an estimate. I don’t think anybody’s doing a census anymore.

First off, I need to emphasize, no matter what else you’ve heard, the Bloomberg Dyke is holding. Yeah, I know, there was the flood in ‘37 during Hurricane Jane, and several incidents in recent times, but I swear to god, would I be living here if I really thought the whole thing could come down? Mankind’s biggest engineering project, gotta give it some respect, knowhutimean?

My job? I’m an exterminator. Great work in a place where the rats outnumber the people about a thousand to one. I’m a freelance contractor, do most of my work for the city, about a quarter for private citizens. Mostly the few richies still here, but I do other work that if I was a lawyer you’d call pro bono. Really, all this makes me a very popular guy. Why would I want to leave?
I live on the 12th floor of a ritzy Park Avenue apartment building. I’ve been told that thirty or forty years ago this apartment rented for like 5,000 a month. I mean, like, what the hell? Who’s got that kind of scratch? Me, I’m also like a squatter. Pay about 250 a month. I got maybe two dozen neighbors in the whole building. Most of the apartments are just turning into crap. So I guess you can see why an exterminator can be so popular, eh?

Can’t really see the water anymore. Y’know, because of the tall dyke walls. We got a few observation decks you can climb if you really got the jones to see the water. Hell, Liberty and Ellis Island ain’t even there anymores. You have to look towards the Jersey shore to see the Statute of Liberty (sad it was when they had to move that).

My family don’t live here anymore. Have to go all the way to frakkin’ Scranton to see Mama, Papa, brothers, sisters. I’m not married now, although I was once. Sweet little Ramona, ran off with some prick musician -aw, I don’t really want to talk about it. We didn’t have no kids. Someday, I think, it would be nice to have a family of my own.I’m a really nice dude, pretty well off, but I’m also kinda short and dumpy. Whatkinido?

I think I’ll check off now. Thanks, Alfredo. It’s good for venting if nothing else. I look forward to hearing from youse people who don’t live surrounded by dykes. Hasta luego!