Sometimes I don't have a clue why I do theatre. All the lines to learn, the rehearsal time that takes me away from home and fills up my DVR, the people who don't show up or work as hard as you would expect from yourself. People often chatting/texting more on the phone than to each other. Falling short of your perfectionist image. Getting overtired at a work that really doesn't care or understand what you're doing. Seeing pictures and videos of yourself looking like a beached whale. Why do I put myself through this?
But then I get into performance time and things slowly click into place. I remember my lines and every evening add more character and flow to my part. On really good nights, your performance gets into a zone, the closest I have to a runner's high, where I feel like I'm transporting the audience to someplace else. When the audience clicks into rhythm with what I'm doing, I can feed off their energies, almost like a vampire.
But the best part is this shy boy finds that in the heat of performance, I can actually make friends for a short while. I don't feel inferior and nervous, I feel like I belong and I'm in something together with somebody. Most of the friendships slip away after the play, but for that brief time, they can shine brightly.
When I'm away, that is what I miss. That is what brings me back.
It's great to find harmony in this life! I must attend a performance soon!
ReplyDeleteThat is beautiful, and nearly every piece of what you feel, I feel, as well. Theatre people are a different breed; we all know it. We are a little more free with our self expression. We are in touch with the side of ourselves, which must connect to each other, first, as strangers, then as visionaries. As long as there are people like us, who need a outlet, like Acting, there will be an audience, who will want to watch and listen; for they need an outlet, too.
ReplyDelete#9 with 31 pageviews, written during the run of Little Women last year.
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