Friday, December 30, 2022

Positive Ending to My Resistance

 Just a short note to let you I am no longer a hold-out to the Pandemic.  Yesterday, I had a positive COVID test. After almost two years of living with this around me, I am finally pulled down.  I don't know why.  Could have been church.  Could have been a store.

Wednesday was difficult.  Yesterday was better.  Today I'm not as good as yesterday but better than Wednesday.

Alison home-tested today, and she is negative.  Thank God.  Benjamin seems to be okay and has not tested.

The thing that shames me more than getting it is that I may have exposed other people to it.  I find it difficult to accept that I could be making other people sick.

That's all I've got right now.  I need to take another break.

Friday, December 16, 2022

Carrot Quest

 Percival wanted a carrot.

He had everything else. Everything to make a Banh Mi. He had the pork, the baguette, the garlic, the fish sauces, the daikon radish, all the spices. Was the grated carrot absolutely necessary?

Yes, it was. If he wanted to be thoroughly transported back to Saigon (now known as Ho Chi Minh City - something he would never get used to), then he would need the carrot. Smell and taste were the ultimate time machine.

Why would he want to? There were so many awful memories of that time. Why remember any of it?

Not all of it was bad. The Ben Thanh Market and its buzz and activities were something he did not want to forget. Especially since that is where he met her. Mai Bingh. From the moment their eyes met, he knew she was the one. 

Her feelings for him took a bit longer. But within a day or two, she never wanted to leave his side.

They couldn't always be together. But as a Saigon MP, he was stationed close to where she lived.

As an MP (Miltary Police), it was his job to chase down AWOL soldiers. Most often, they were not deserters but just on an alcohol-fueled bender. Percival often bordered on being AWOL himself but was careful to skirt the border of disobedience. Of course, it helped to have the inside track with his MP buddies.

So, Percy (as he was known) and Mai Bingh were together so frequently they even had their own private bungalow above the Hoa Ma restaurant on Cao Thang Street. After making love, he would stare at her and think of himself as the luckiest man in the universe to have found his one true soulmate.

When his tour of duty was up, he wanted to marry Mia Bingh and bring her to the states. However, he could not get her to leave her family. Mia's mother was very ill, and she would not leave the country while her mother was alive.

Percival had dark thoughts but did not give in to them. Instead, he urged her to stay in touch and that he would return to get her when she was ready. She promised she would. They hugged and kissed and cried and made love one more time. And then he was gone.

He wrote her every day for a year but heard nothing back from her. It broke his heart. He stopped writing.

Two more years passed, and he received a card with a picture. It was Mai Bingh sitting in front of the Hoa Na Restaurant. She was not alone. On her lap, looking out towards the camera, was a little girl, not more than two or three years old. She had Mai's eyes and Percival's hair - black and curly. Her skin tone was light brown.

Within days of receiving that picture, Percival returned to Saigon. He went to Ben Thanh Market, searching and showing everyone the picture. No one could tell him anything, and the loft above the Hoa Na was rented by somebody else, and they didn't know where the previous tenant had gone. He could not find any of Mai's family.

He stayed and searched as long as he could, but his resources were drained. He thought about staying. He made the horrible decision to return to the states and await further word. This was a decision he would regret for the next five decades. She had never contacted him again.

Percival shook himself out of his memories and decided to go to the store and get the carrot. This was the anniversary of the last time he saw her, 55 years ago, and he would fulfill the ritual completely. 

He put on his jacket, moved as quickly as he could on his arthritic knees, leaving his dingy apartment, and headed down the road to the local market, Assi. It was just three blocks away, and although Korean owned, it carried other international foods, mainly Asian. It was no Ben Thanh, but it would do.

He grabbed a cart, helping to balance his uneven gait, and went to the produce section. They didn't sell individual carrots, but he would buy the smallest bunch he could.

A few feet ahead of him, a woman examined the cabbages, carefully inspecting them. She wasn't a young woman, maybe in her fifties. He couldn't see her face until she turned his way, holding up two cabbages, trying to decide which one to take.

She had her eyes. She had his hair. Her skin was light brown.

Time froze. He forgot to breathe.


To be continued...



Wednesday, December 14, 2022

Head Case

 Content Warning:  This is another (borderline) doggy downer, if you're inclined to skip that sort of thing.


People ask me frequently how I like retirement. Most of them, without often directly saying go, are wondering if I'm bored, and because of that (or money issues), if I've returned to some form of employment (self or otherwise). I am not bored, and I might do some self-employment things next year, but they would have to be stuff I enjoy doing and not something that would interfere with my ability to travel to see my granddaughter.

To be honest, though. I am struggling with something in retirement. And it's this - it accentuates my most significant mental health challenge - my tendency towards introversion.  

I know it's hard for others to comprehend sometimes. I'm a good public speaker and community theater actor.  In small group settings, if I get comfortable, I can be relaxed and conversant.

I describe my problem in two ways, both of which are related. One is selective mutism, which I have explained in other posts. The second is crippling insecurities - I can easily feel inadequate and overwhelmed.

People with selective mutism can perform quite well with scripts and structured communication, speaking, and writing. They are lousy in social situations, and meeting new people, and can feel overwhelmed when the unexpected happens.

With retirement, I am not forced to go to work each day and deal with new people and situations. Instead, I can stay at home as much as I choose. And I am choosing to skip engaging in events more and more.

I enjoyed being in the play Harvey last Fall. But it was quite an effort to pull myself into that every night. I will continue with theater, but it will be no more than once a year. And that makes it more challenging as I see the WACT people less and less. The more I'm away from a group of people, the harder it is to re-engage with them.

I have been able to participate in things at the library. Much of that has been with Alison. And I do enjoy that, doing things with her. I haven't read for Children's Story Time as much as I would like because I cannot bring myself to ask.

I don't make an effort to stay in contact with my old work. I do little to get my stories published or to gain readership. I will avoid running into people I know so I don't have to say hello or start conversations I am unsure of.

Not all, but part of this is I don't feel like I'm as good as other people. They are more talented and confident than me, and I have to prove myself to be worthy of them. I'm not telling you this makes sense; I'm just trying to describe what happens in my brain, right or wrong.

I'm not giving up. I'm going to do my best to struggle with this.

But if I miss your event or suddenly withdraw, please try to be understanding. I'm doing the best I can. 





Saturday, December 10, 2022

2022 Election Summary by T. M. Strait: Saturday Political Soap Box 290


 Here is what you have been waiting for.

The summary of Election 2022 and what it means by the unrenowned political analyst T. M. Strait, whose posts over the last decade have received around 30 views apiece (more or less).

So, what do I think of the last election?

It went much better than I expected, but I don't think it was the fabulous slam dunk Democratic celebration that many media commentators and Democratic activists thought it was. It's true that they did as well for a first-term President's midterms as you could expect, dating back to Roosevelt.

But...neither did they have any significant breakthroughs that help Biden govern. The House is thinly Republican but Republican nonetheless. And the Republican MAGA crazies hold the balance of power. Expect no significant legislation. Expect Hunter Biden's laptop 24/7. Expect constant calls for impeachment. 

The Senate is in better shape. It may help expedite federal appointments (judges, cabinet officials, etc.). But, despite the "improved" majority and media overconfidence, we're still at the mercy of Manchin and Sinema. Schumer on Wednesday: Woohoo! We have 51 Democrats and are a solid majority! Sinema on Friday: Hold my beer.

Here are my major takeaways from the 2020 election:

Incumbents Rule, Challengers Drool

Although incumbents usually win into the 90% range, this election cycle was particularly incumbency. In the Senate, every Democratic incumbent won, but so did every Republican. The only changeover occurred in Pennsylvania, where Fetterman beat an out-of-state snake oil salesman.

It was more of a victory for incumbency than for either political party.

Gen Z is coming!  

As a bona fide political nerd, I've been listening to political elections since before puberty. I can't ever recall hearing where the youth vote made a difference. But it did this time. And I am amazed and thrilled.

As older generations fade, the impact of Gen Z will rise. Political affiliation often gets affixed early, and it sticks. We've been stuck with the Boomers and Reagan Babies for a long time. And, yes, I'm a Boomer, but I got influenced by politics earlier than most of my peers (60s), and I came from a liberal home. Nothing is 100%, but there were too many of us conned by Nixon, and then Reagen; too many that got swallowed by Greed is Good.

New York and California are Really Bad at Gerrymandering

Believe it or not, if New York and California had done a better job at forming new Congressional districts and taken campaigning a little more seriously, the Democrats would have held the House. Seriously. I'm not kidding. The guy who ran the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee, Sean Maloney, lost his race (partially redistricted) to his Republican challenger. I mean, my God, we almost lost Katie Porter, the California Democratic SUPERSTAR!

Stop listening to James Carville

In many ways, I like James Carville. He is a vocal advocate for Democrats,  But his concept of Democrats is stuck in the old Third Way compromise Clinton Era. For God's sake, don't let your Progressive flag fly. Be fiesty, but only advocate policies that can best be described as Republican Lite. Well, bullcrap! I want a party that STANDS for something. We're never going to get the progressive values and policy solutions that Americans show they favor in poll after poll.

That doesn't mean you have to be a flower child. You have to show an affinity for the working man. Two Progressives that did this and WON were John Fetterman and Raphael Warnock.  

As the election got to the last day, Joe Scarborough and other media moderates/conservatives were singing the praises of Tim Ryan, Democrat running for Senate in Ohio. Ryan was feisty but also s conservative/moderate, not taking any really bold stances. Ryan debated well. Ryan also lost to a genuinely creepy MAGA Republican, JD Vance. It was about the only Trump-endorsed candidate that won (particularly when you consider those Trump actually rallied for).

And I know. You're saying that was Ohio. It's pretty red. True, but Democratic Senator Sherrod Brown wins there election after election, and he is a no-bones about it Progressive.

Issues that Mattered

Abortion mattered. Republicans caught the car and now they don't know what to do with it. Unfortunately, they are on the wrong side of this, and every state referendum will show what a mistake they made.

Democracy mattered. Virtually every election denier lost. 

Yes, for some, inflation mattered. Particularly for Republican voters.

Issues that Didn't Matter

It breaks my heart, but COVID didn't matter. If it did, Kemp and DeSantis would have been consigned to the dustbin of history.

LGBTQ+ hatred, CRT, immigration - none of these had a major impact. Yes, there is a fraction of the American people for whom these issues matter a great deal, especially in the most MAGA areas, so it really didn't change things.

Global warming/climate change did not have much influence, except for maybe Gen Z.  We will pay the price for ignoring this.

Trump is Toast

His influence only proved to work in a negative direction.

I know. It's been said many times, in many ways, that Trump is a goner. But there's something different this time.

I think it's finally sinking in what a political loser he is.

This is not all cream and gravy.  

You need to be fearfully aware of...

THE IDES OF DeSANTIS!

----------------------

Ok, this is much longer than I thought. It's more of an essay than a summary. It probably means I'll only get 12 who read it instead of 30.

Sigh.

Windmill tilting is exhausting.



Thursday, December 8, 2022

Seal of Destiny


 When last we met on the My Jobs thread:

My garden epiphany that led me to realize that I would NOT get to do what I wanted for a living, began a roughly two-year period where I took business and accounting courses at Berry College near Rome, Georgia.

I came out of Berry College with high hopes and even higher grades and recommendations. I was confident that I could go out into the workplace and acquire a high-powered career path that would lead to even more lucrative pay than my aborted teaching career.

I must have been high to think this.

Coming out, I found that most potential employers did not think of me as an accountant but a teacher. This was not the background they wanted. I tried CPA firms from Dalton to Atlanta. I tried private industry.

The most hoped-for job by top accounting graduates was to be hired by one of the top eight accounting firms.* I did have one interview with a large firm in Atlanta; it was a day long, and for most of it, it appeared they were more courting me more than I was them. I thought I had this in the bag. But no job offer ever came.

After a few months in the wilderness, I finally got a job offer from American Seal & Stamp, a small business just at the edge of downtown Atlanta. They were offering $13,500 a year. Does that sound low? Even for 1984, that was rock bottom for someone with six years of college education.

I felt like my Dad had taught me that you must be willing to start wherever you can and work your way up.

I was wrong. When I told my Dad about the job, he thought I was crazy for taking it, and that I needed to hold out to start somewhere else at a higher rung. On the other hand, I felt morally obligated to take it since I told them yes. Over the years, I have realized what a stupid decision it was.

American Seal & Stamp sold mostly corporation kits, which included corporate seals and something called Goes paper, which was used for stock certificates. It contained everything you needed to legally incorporate. Except the lawyer. And the actual incorporation.

American Seal & Stamp was owned by Howard Massell, the ne'er do well brother of former Atlanta Mayor Sam Massell.  But Howard was never there. His day-to-day operations were managed by somebody else. He talked to that manager by phone and sent orders over.

You see, Howard decided to move from Atlanta to avoid, uh, some legal entanglements. He wanted, in part, to leave Atlanta to avoid the temptations of drugs like cocaine. And to accomplish that, he moved to Miami.

I repeat. In order to avoid drugs, he moved to Miami.  

His reputation was as a snarling, self-centered asshole. A legend from before I came was that he visited the company one time, and that the manager was so nervous she had a breakdown that caused her to literally collapse. He emerged from his office, saw her writhing on the floor, and said, "Great! Now, who's gonna take me to the airport?"

And this was my introduction to accounting and the business world. It would not get much better from there.

But have no fear! Your intrepid hero stayed less than a year and was able to parley over to another job, one that rocketed his career to...

Well, that is a tale for next time.


*well, it was The Big Eight at the time. Now it's just the Big Four. Is this a great country or what? And people wonder where inflation and price gouging come from? Hah!


Tuesday, December 6, 2022

The Georgia Ideal


I know. This is a stupid time to post this if I want to persuade anybody. Most of my Georgia readers have probably already early voted.   The rest of my Georgia friends are probably already firm in their decision.

Nevertheless, I would like to make clear my view.

Setting partisanship completely aside, Senator Raphael Warnock is the ideal representative of the best of Georgia.

The very best of the state can be seen in his story and conduct. In his faith, spirit, and inspirational hope, he is Georgia to the core.

He has worked across the aisle, assisting with bipartisan legislation that makes the country, especially Georgia, a better place. He advocates for the interests of Georgians, regardless of political affiliation.

I don't know if he'll always vote for the party and/or the White House. I don't care. But I know he'll always prioritize the needs of everyday working Georgians.

He may be one of the best speakers in the Senate, and not just for those in the Senate now, but in the history of the Senate. I swell with state pride every time I hear him speak.

I don't know if he'll win or lose today. This state is not as blue as I hoped. Not yet. But it has shown a tendency to reject extremists (except in some gerrymandered Congressional districts). So, there is some hope.

Herschel Walker may have represented the University of Georgia as an extraordinary and gifted athlete. But Raphael Warnock is best suited to represent the state as a whole.

I don't want this short post to be about the many inadequacies of Texas resident Herschel Walker. Even those who vote for him are well aware of those. If you're not, I hope you're enjoying the taste of sand.*

I look forward to the next six years of Senator Warnock representing the state of Georgia.

And if not? Well, Georgia, you've just made the worst trade of the 21st Century.


*do I need to spell this out? You taste sand because your head is buried in it. You know. Like an ostrich. Oy. These things are no longer fun when you have to explain them so much.