Petty Peeves: We Don't Have That

I try to be a good customer.  I really do.

I know how tough service work is and how rude some customers can be.  We've all heard the horror stories.  We've all witnessed bad behavior.

I hate the word "triggered."  It's used often to depict those who get upset if they're political or social world view is challenged.  Nevertheless, it's semi-appropriate for my transformation from good customer to bad customer when this certain thing happens.

And what is that certain thing?

When I ask for an item that is on the menu board at a fast-food restaurant, and the clerk looks blank-eyed and bored, and says, "We don't have that." And they say it in a way that makes you feel like a fool for even asking.

But me?  I don't move on. I should just let it go, but my transformation begins.

Me:  (pointing to the menu board) But it's right up there.

Clerk:  We don't have it.

Me: Shouldn't you cross it off the board?

Clerk:  That's not my job.

Me:  Well, I would like to ask for something different, but I'm sort of scared as to whether you have it or not.

Clerk:  (says nothing.  just looks blankly.  when is this fool gonna finish?)

Me:  (makes another selection, which they must have because the clerk silently adds it to total).

Clerk:  $7.93.

Me:  (quietly raging) Thank you.

Yep.  That's me in fierce bad customer mode.  I thank her again.  I thank the person who hands me the completed order.  I go home and vent to Alison later.


Usually, I'm good.  At a sit-down restaurant, even when service is not so hot, I still tip between 15 to 20%.  The job's not easy.  People have a hard day.  I understand.


But something flips in my head when I'm told blank-eyed like they're talking to a wall, "We don't have that."

Would it be so hard to say, "I'm sorry.  We're temporarily out of that item. May I recommend something else, like our fine Mac 'n' Chips?"

Maybe it doesn't have to be that obsequious. But there has to be something more polite than sneering, "We don't have that."

Don't get me wrong.  It can go too far the other way.  The Stepford Wife-like cheeriness I often run across at Chick-fil-A can be disturbing in its own way.  Sometimes it seems sincere.  Other times it seems forced.

Really.  I'm s better customer than that.  It's just the darn triggering when I hear that cold, uncaring phrase, "We don't have that."

Oh, well.  Luckily, I don't have all that many petty peeves.

Although concerning words that make my skin crawl, we may soon have to discuss "hydrate," which for some reason, is beginning to bother me more and more.

People are strange.

Well, at least I am.