Government Certified

Now a king in the elderly domain.

I have smashed through another life milestone, like it or not.  Time marches on relentlessly for all of us, whether we're ready for it or not.

At 62, I am now a government certified old person.  I am now eligible for Social Security, if I so choose.

Do I feel old?  Some mornings I do.  Yet, overall, I still have the same spirit and thinking that I did when I was thirteen.  I avoid mirrors as if I was a vampire, and when I do see myself, I fear that I have stumbled across a picture of Dorian Gray.  Oh, yes.  That reflection in the mirror looks old so I can look young.

They say that 60 is the new 40.  I don't know about that.  Sometimes I feel like 62 is the new 57.  Not much of an improvement, but at this point, I'll take it.

I may celebrate by indulging in fine refreshments, but not too much.  I don't want to upset my delicate constitution, nor further increase my girth to the point that I have to get new clothes.  That's right. My dieting goals have changed from looking good and feeling fit , to 'oh please, Lord, don't let me have to go out and buy a whole new wardrobe'.

There is now not a Senior discount I can't pursue and use.  There is no more shame in it now.  We went to a fast food place recently where they automatically gave me a Senior coffee instead of a regular coffee,  Fantastic, except the Senior coffee was about half the size of the regular.  What?  You think because I'm old I can get by on less caffeine?  Au contraire!


One of the things I don't have, that many my age do, is grandchildren.  I have two boys in their thirties, and I am extremely proud of them and what they have achieved in life, but as of yet, having children is not one of them.  That's okay.  I'm a patient man. I can wait.  It's going to make it that much more special when it does happen.


Yes, I will be drawing Social Security soon.  I will be stepping down from a full-time accounting career, and spending more time with family, and pursuing my life long interest in storytelling.  I will keep my hand in accounting, as long as I can keep carpal tunnel at bay, and I can still remember how to count.

Even my most conservative friends do not buck at collecting Social Security.  When it's for them personally, it ceases to be an entitlement, and magically becomes something they have earned and deserved.  Which is true.  It is an insurance program, though, and not a retirement investment plan, solely from your own account and funds.  As with all insurance, some of what you get is from the funds as a whole, coming from the money younger workers pay in.  And this is at should be, and will be for those younger workers, as they grow older and eventually retire themselves.

But if you're one of those who sneer at any so-called government handout., do me a favor.  As you start to draw Social Security, take your contribution information to an actuary, and have them tell you the exact time when the funds you draw cease to be your own contributions and you start drawing form others, and pledge to stop your Social Security at that precise moment.  Any takers?

I didn't think so.