Dona and the Vows

Dona sat quietly next to her sister, who was busy coloring in a Hello Kitty coloring book.  They sat together on a bench in the cold, sterile hallway of Dixon Medical Center.  Dona watched her sister busily coloring Hello Kitty pink, but could not concentrate on anything else herself.  She was too worried about her mama.

Dixon Medical Center was a small facility, a cross between a small hospital and a care center.  It was in a severe state of decline, and parts of it had been closed down.  When Mama took her most recent bad turn, Daddy had taken her here for emergency care, but then they had insisted that she stay at least for a day. 

Dona was trying to keep a brave face, but Daddy looked so worried and broken, it left her very concerned.  Dona was just thirteen, with teenage hormones and emotions, feelings that she could barely control.  She sat quietly, but her mind was whirring a hundred miles an hour.

Her sister, Tamara, looked up at her.  She was just five, a chubby bundle of energy.  "I'm hungry.  When can Mama come home and fix us some pancakes?"

Dona had to take more and more responsibility for Tamara the sicker Mama got.  She had been ill for months, but in the last few weeks, Mama could hardly get out of bed.  Dona was surprised that Tamara even remembered Mama making breakfast.  "Just finish your painting that picture, Tama.  I'll check with Daddy in a little bit and see if I can get some quarters for the vending machine."

"Do they got Little Debbies?  I loves Little Debbies.  'Specially that one with the creamy stuffing."

"I'll look later."  Whether Daddy would have vending machine money was iffy.  They came here in a hurry and money, even spare change, was a tough commodity to come by.  They gave Mama a tray, even though she couldn't eat.  Perhaps they could steal some of that.

Dona was a little chunky herself, just like Tamara was.  Mama had been outright obese, but had lost quite a bit of weight in the last year.  Part of their heaviness was genetic, but it was also due to a diet that over-emphasized starches and higher calorie foods.  They were cheaper than healthier choices, and their limited food dollars had to concentrate on getting the most bang for the buck.  Daddy worked very hard at Mather's Mufflers, but she got the impression they didn't pay so hot, and they sure didn't offer extras, like insurance or paid vacation.  He heard Daddy grumbling one time about they didn't pay extra for overtime like they were supposed to.  The woman whose husband owned the business was running for Congress.  She wished that lady would stop doing that, and instead tell her husband to treat her Daddy better.

Daddy came out of Mama's hospital room.  He was skinny and tall, a real contrast to Mama.  He had a moustache and thick black hair, but no beard.  His eyes were tearing up and his face was puffy.  "Tamara, honey, Mama would like to see you for a second."

Tamara took Daddy's hand and started into the room.  "Is it breakfast time?"

Daddy choked up.  "Not yet, sweetheart."

Dona waited anxiously on the bench, her mind frozen with fear.  What was going on?  Why would she talk to Tamara alone?  This couldn't be it.  She would know it if it was.  She would feel it.

When Daddy came back with Tamara, he had tears visibly streaming down his cheeks.  He said he had to go the restroom, and then he would be back to bring her in to see Mama.

Tamara sat back down and proceeded to start back coloring.  There was no emotion or stress on the little girl's face.  Somehow, that made it even more terrifying for Dona.  "What did Mama say, Tama?"

Tamara didn't even look up from her coloring book. "Oh, silly stuff."

"Like what?"

"You know.  Like, what I wanted to be when I growed up.  I told her I wanted to be a kitty trainer.  And she wanted me to be sweet and polite.  Ha!  I'm always sweet and polite!  Then I asked about breakfast, and she said it would be awhile.  So I said I didn't want to talk anymore. So I got up and left."

Daddy came back, his tears wiped away.  "Dona, it's your turn."

Mama had some IV's in her arms, and there were some machines making sounds, a little pulse like they were tracking her heartbeat.  The room was not a private room, and there were beds with three other patients, including an elderly lady with a balloon of Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz attached to the railing on her bed.

Mama patted the edge of her hospital bed.  Dona sat down next to her, and Mama took her hand.  She looked at Mama's pained and pale face.  There were huge dark circles under eyes, and her skin color was yellow.  The flesh on her arms looked paper thin. "How are you, Dona, my sweet young lady.  Are you doing ok?"

Dona stammered out, "I'm ok, Mama.  I'm just worried about you."

She squeezed Dona's hand.  "Don't you spend a second worrying about me.  I'm in the hands of a higher power now, and I welcome him.  I want to tell you..."  Mama started coughing.  Daddy put a handkerchief to her face, and it came back a little bloody.  Dona shivered.

"It's all right, Dona.  It's all gonna be all right." She composed herself, and looked directly into Dona's eyes.  "I understand you want to be a nurse..."

"Well, actually, a game designer, Mama," interrupted Dona.

"Oh.  Like your friend, that boy, Davy Something?"

"David Roper, Mama."  He was a new boy, two years older than her, just a few trailers down at the trailer park, and one whom she'd spent more and more time with.  He was fascinated with a game he was creating he called To Crown a King and she was becoming more and fascinated with him.

"Well, whatever you decide to be, I want you remember the most important thing."

There was another pause as her mother turned her head and stared blankly at the ceiling.

"What's that, Mama?"

She turned back to her daughter.  "Remember to always be polite, honey.  Always say please and thank you.  Sweet always gets you farther than sour.  And it makes for an, oh, so much better world."

Dona was crying now, nothing left to hold back the flood of tears.  "Mama, please don't go.  Please let me see you again!"

Mama reached up with all her strength and stroked Dona's hair.  "That's not in my hands anymore."  She looked at Dona through watery eyes.  "I love you so."  Her hand dropped away and she closed her eyes.

"Mama has to rest now, honey," Daddy said.

Dona left the room, sobbing.  She ran down the hall, turned the corner.  She just wanted to run, get away.  She found a small room that had an altar and a chapel rail.  She kneeled at it, noticed the cross on the wall in front of her, and then she began to pray.

"Dear God in heaven," Dona plaintively began.  "Please don't take her!  I'll do whatever you want!  I'll go to church.  I'll pray every night.  I'll be good and caring to people.  I'll listen to Daddy and Mama all the time.  I won't do bad things.  I won't touch myself like I shouldn't. I won't think about David that way anymore.  I won't be mean to people.  Just brink her back!  Let her live!"

She waited for some sign that God was listening.  There was none.  But that wasn't going to stop her from trying.  She vowed to do her part.  And she could only pray that God would do his.

When she came back, she reached a corner where she could hear Daddy talking to somebody from the hospital.

"Sir, we'll have to move her out today.  We can't keep indigent patients if they're not in an immediate crisis.  And although she is very ill, I don't think there is much we could do beyond making her comfortable...."

"Yeah," answered Daddy bitterly.  "I wouldn't want you to go out of your way to do that."

The woman he was talking to looked flustered.  She was wearing a navy blue business suit with a white blouse.  She had a clipboard with her.  She wore glasses and looked intelligent, at least to Dona.  "Look, if I could write it up so she could stay, I would.  It's breaking my heart..."  She paused for a minute, looking down.  Then she raised her head, a grim look on her face.  "We can barely keep this place open.  What with the State refusing to expand Medicare, we just can't handle the extra cost burden.  I've seen your financials, Mr. Cooper.  I know Medicare expansion would help you."

Daddy nodded agreement.  "Yeah, I know.  That damn Obamcare is messing up everything."

The woman's frustration increased.  "No, it's Obamcare that's.....never mind.  I see so many, please don't take it personal, who could be helped so much more if they would come in sooner, and start treatments and prevention so much sooner."

Daddy started losing it.  "I know that!  Don't you think I know that?  I tried to get her in sooner!  But she was so worried about the cost!  By the time I got to come....it was just too damn late."

Daddy was crying again.  So was the woman.  So was Dona.  She didn't know how they couldn't hear her sobbing.  Little Tama sat with her coloring book, oblivious to it all. 

"I've worked my ass off, trying to get as many hours as I could and still be there for them.  We've tried to have fundraisers, but people just aren't as interested in an adult woman who they blame for...I mean what the hell, she's fat!  She's not some poster child cute little kid.  I don't even have the resources to bring in Hospice, for god's sake!"

They continued to talk, with the woman stating that she would reach out to Hospice and some charity organizations and see what she could do.  Daddy did not look or sound optimistic.

But for Dona, things began to come clear.  She knew what she would do.  Even though she liked David and game development, she had more important things to do now.  And being a nurse was good, but it just wasn't enough to make things work better.  Things had to change so people like her Mama got the care they needed.

Daddy was hesitant to let Dona back into the room again, but she seemed so determined that he let her in.

Dona waited patiently for her mother to wake up again.  When she did, Dona said, "Mama, I've changed my mind, but I promise you I won't change it again."

Mama looked at her, with half-closed eyes, a wisp of a smile on her face.  "What's that, darlin'?"

Dona looked at her mother solemnly.  "I'm going to be President of the United States."

Her mother, eyes wide open, looked at her daughter, not with skepticism, not with a sense that she had to humor her, but with a calm dead certainty.  "Yes, Dona.  Yes, you are."

They hugged.  It wasn't the last time Dona would hug her mother, although there wouldn't be many more times.  It certainly was the most meaningful, as their souls and spirits melted into each other.

Watch out, 2060!  President Dona Cooper is headed your way!