Mall of the Swamps Part 1

JCPenney

Vicki Steel looked over the dresses with some consternation.  She knew she was a little heavy, but she also knew she wasn't alone in that.  Many women, particularly in middle age, had put on a few pounds.  Yet JC Penny's seemed to have rack after rack filled with clothes that were just a tad too small.  And even if you found your right size, that didn't mean that it would fit.  Every dress manufacturer seemed to have a different idea of what sixe 16 meant.  So you were constantly trying stuff on that just wound up humiliating you.

Whatever her dress size, one thing she was absolutely sure of.  Alan Steel was head over heels in love with her, and she was in love with him.  Her husband, the Sheriff of Dixon County, was passionate, romantic and devoted to her.  They had been married for thirty years now, and she had always read about how the fires went out when you just stuck with the same person, but those people, as far as she could tell, were just unfortunate.  Some people were just built like love birds, paired and bonded for eternity.

It made it hard to go overboard with dieting and exercise when you were just so damn happy.  As they got older, they were getting more careful about their dietary choices, but that had more to do with their overall health than any diet plan.  They also loved to walk together, and did so as often as Alan's schedule allowed. 

She was worried about Alan.  The stress of the murder investigations ( now two, with the discovery of Kayak Kelly's body), and those New Life extremists circling her niece Racine as if she was a criminal, just because she lost her baby.  What was the world coming to when you were hounded over a miscarriage?  Vicki loved Jesus, and she loved her church, but to be honest, there were impulses now in some Christians that just made her angry.

Speaking of New Life extremists, there she was, coming down the store aisle towards her.  Vicki just wanted to move away quickly, but Dotty Mathers was approaching far too fast.  Dotty was a large woman, bordering on obese, but her weight was not the problem Vicki had with her.  It was the stern, pious holier-than-thou look on her face, the quick rendering of judgment.   And now this callous, cruel woman was actually running for Congress.  With current Congressman Stan Winston making sounds as if he was going to not run for re-election, it could put Dotty in the driver's seat.  Vicki didn't care what party Stan was. He was a good man, and a great friend to them both.  She felt badly that he had recently been pushed to extremes by the growing influence of the Tea Party and Christian far right. 

It was a childish impulse, but she followed nonetheless.  She looked the other way as Dotty approached, as if she didn't see her.  Her strategy failed, big time.

"Well, Vicki Steel, bless my heart!  Imagine running into you here!  Are you looking for yourself?  Why don't you do what I do, and check out Cato Plus?  They have a much better selection, if I do say so!" Dotty babbled. 

Vicki just nodded, hoping to get by with brief pleasantries.  "Thanks, Dotty.  I'll be sure to stop by there sometime. You have a good day, Dotty.  Nice to see you," she said, trying to quickly step away. But no such luck.  Dotty grabbed her by the arm.

"I must say.  The Sheriff has his hands full!  What with that Yankee Gariton Hollander murdering Rondy Strickland, and them finding the body of that atheist teacher!  I just heard they're calling that murder.  I think that environmental whacko just went out into the swamps one time too many, armed with nothing but a camera - what did that pinko expect?"

There was so much wrong with everything Dotty was saying, Vicki didn't even know where to begin.  But arguing with her was like trying to dig a hole through a concrete prison wall with a plastic spoon.  It would take far too long and wouldn't accomplish anything. "Alan's looking into all that."

"He doesn't need to look too far!  That Gariton is an Episcopalian of all things, which is really the next closest thing to an atheist.  That church is full of gays, as if they weren't abominations.  And I can't believe that poor Rondy fell for that flashy slut, Christie.  Daddy Delco must be a-flippin' with shame."  Dotty leaned in to whisper to her, and Vicki could smell what must have been Dotty's lunch - garlic shrimp.  "Of course, you know, maybe she was inclined to wander because, you know, Gariton may be a little light in the loafers."

So, Vicki thought, this gay man was so incensed that his wife took a lover that he risked his freedom to kill him?  Sometimes there was no accounting for Dotty logic. "Ok, Dotty.  Well, I have to go.  I'm supposed to meet my niece, Tabitha, for lunch."

Mistake!  Vicki realized it too late.  "I was so sorry to hear about Racine.  She needs to come out to New Life and we will pray for her, and hear her testimony.  I mean, Vicki, there's no reason to hide.  If it was an abortion, there's no time to waste in getting her to beg for redemption and getting right with God.  You do know, Vicki, don't you?  You do know the truth, and how much better it would be for everyone if you confessed it?"

That was the last straw.  Vicki was a very passive, polite and kind woman, but she just wanted to haul off and slap Dotty a good one.  God help her, she wanted to leave a mark.  "I have to go now." she said, and started to walk off before her anger got the best of her.

As Vicki walked away, dotty would not stop talking, and was just getting louder.  "Goodbye, Vicki!  And don't forget, I am praying for your husband's support in the next Congressional election!  I hope he will be as big a supporter of mine as he was to Stan Winston!"

Vicki stopped and said back, more loudly than her normal voice, "Well, that will be up to Alan."  And then she couldn't resist adding, "But, dotty, if it were up to me, you would be the last candidate on Earth I would want him to support."

Yes, she said it far too loud.  Because others, besides just Dotty, heard.  And they would remember.