I don't think Benjamin is going to the play that I am currently in. My twelve year old, in my judgement is not quite ready for it. That's my call as a parent. Others may come to different conclusions.
The first thing people mention is the language. There is use of the son of a b---- phrase, particularly by my character. There are other milder expletives throughout the show. The only thing removed by order of the Director is the G-D word. The most offensive word used is the archaic use of the word queer. That was left in because it was used at that time, and Benjamin Braddock is deliberately trying to shock his father. None of this would deter me from having Benjamin see the play. I might have to explain queer, and why that term is wrong, and why it was used. The rest he has heard before and is smart enough to take into context. To me, swearing is more of a use of language designed to hurt and degrade others than it is any particular word. For greater details on my position on swearing, please read the blog story A Philosophy of Swearing.
It is not the state of undress that certain characters have at certain points. Our Mrs. Robinson (played brilliantly by Julianna Lacefield) is enticing, seductive and voluptuous, but her dress (or undress) is not much different than what I have seen onstage before, in other community theater productions, in local dance recitals, or beauty pageants. I am much more offended when a young child, dressed provocatively, starts shaking her booty at the crowd, than I am at anything in The Graduate.
It is not the overall moral arch of the story. The ending is much more morally satisfying than some other popular productions such as Grease (where Sandy ends up by giving in and dresses as a slut and takes up smoking) or Chicago (where two murderesses walk free). The whole point of the play centers around the empty materialism of our lives, the reckless things we do to connect to each other in our emptiness, and struggling finally to make a genuine connection.
The reason I hold Benjamin out is I'm not really ready to explain why a young man is okay with getting involved with the mother and then switching to the daughter. I can explain the other stuff, but I'm not sure I can explain that. I'm aware that we wouldn't know about this movie/play if it wasn't for that plot line. It does sit uneasy with me, especially to explain it to my young son.
But Benjamin is getting older. I'm probably underestimating his ability to filter things, and make sense out of them. Nevertheless, I am the parent, and I'm not ready yet for him to go to this. All that will come soon enough. They do grow up so fast. I shudder to think that driving is just around the corner!
You said:
ReplyDelete"The reason I hold Benjamin out is I'm not really ready to explain why a young man is okay with getting involved with the mother and then switching to the daughter. I can explain the other stuff, but I'm not sure I can explain that."
This plot presents the perferct opportunity to bring up what is age appropriate with one's sexuality. Benjamin Braddock's parents didn't have the "talk" with him. He goes on a trip to find himself and has unprotected sex with whores. He succumbs to being seduced and having sex with with a woman his mother's age. Isn't this the same thing as a teacher having sex with a minor student?
This play is an excellent conversation starter for adolescent sexuality and coming of age. Why do we want to shelter our children at home from what they learn from their peers at school? Our children need to learn early where the boundaries are. You say the play doesn't sit easy with you - yet you have a part in it. Your young son knows more than he lets on. Give him a chance to learn about life through someone's error instead of having a "Benjamin Braddock" moment with a lacivious lush and a bunch of whores on a road trip.
Benjamin didn't have sex with whores. He's trying to shock and mess with his Dad's head.
ReplyDeleteBenjamin Braddock was messing with everyone's head as he referred to his trysts with whores while on his road trip.
ReplyDeleteThis is still a teachable moment for one to jump start the father-son talk no matter what age. It's a shame that society pursues the double standard afforded to legal age and underage. Pointing out the sexually predatory nature of a rubenesque Mrs. Robinson preying upon a much younger, confused Benjamin Braddock would be a real eye opener for a young mind. He wouldn't have to see any actual sex but would only view the illusion of two people under the sheets as he probably suspects his parents of doing or not doing.
I am under the umbrella, with my children, hoping that I, MYSELF, and NO ONE beforehand, may be the one whom DECIDES, and DISCUSSES such issues with them; but, Honey, the rain falls ANYWAY!
ReplyDeleteSincerely,
A fellow well-meaning responsible parent
Some people try to use language to make their opinions matter, when their opinions mean nothing. To that miserable individual: SHUT UP.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Tom's lovely regular readership.
From the better "Anonymous" opinion
Dear Fellow Well-Meaning Responsible Parent:
ReplyDeleteI think the first anon. poster was pointing out the hypocrisy between participating in a play with sexual overtones (the OP admitted not being bothered by the language) and not wanting to explain to his son about the cougar theme of the plot.
You all stay under the umbrella of fear.
It's a simple play. Get over yourselves. Let me be a responsible parent by telling my child how misguided the frumpy old woman is when she seduces the young college graduate son of her best friends. Thank God for positive peer pressure. This is why children share so much information albeit truth or fiction with each other. Their parents have their heads in the sand and they have to raise themselves.
Sincerely,
Another Fellow Well-Meaning Responsible Parent
Again, just, SHUT UP. Thank you, in advance.
ReplyDeleteNo one should have to censor their own opinion in order to comfort someone else's ignorance.
ReplyDeleteIgnorance is, as ignorance does.
ReplyDeleteGetting out of hand. I reserve the right to make my own judgement about my son, and what are good teaching moments or what are not. The Graduate is not an after school special. Benjamin receives no special sanctions for his behavior. I probably "censor" less than most parents, and I do discuss with my son all kinds of issues. I do appreciate the discussion. It is hard to have one's motives as a parent impugned, or my choices questioned, but I opened myself up to it by writing in this open forum.
ReplyDeleteTom is absolutely correct. He has the right to make decisions and judgements in terms of what his son should or should not be exposed to. There is no hypocrisy in Tom participating in an adult play and choosing not to push a discussion on his son over a controversial topic. How is that decision any different than what many Hollywood actors do? I read an article several years ago about Vin Diesel. He did the movie The Pacifier so that children in his life (I can't remember if they were his children or nieces and nephews) could see him in a film. He knew that his other movies were not appropriate for children. Does this make him a hypocrite? No. It is called good parenting.
ReplyDeleteAnd by the way, I saw The Graduate last week and Tom and all of the other cast members did an awesome job!!
Yes, he has every right to raise his child as he sees fit. "Pushing a discussion"? Using an opportune time to discuss the predatory nature of adults preying on the children of their friends is a simple "ice breaker".
ReplyDeleteThe play has a wonderful plot and ends well.
We are all different and so are our children. Good parenting? We don't know that, yet. Even Spock had some ideas that were later disproved.
No. The Graduate is not offensive.
ReplyDeleteI'll have you know that we are devoted followers of Spock. We are big Star Trek fans.
ReplyDeleteFunny, ha, ha. Dr. Spock, the pediatrician.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous ... I assure you Tom knew that. I believe that was humor. And I also assure you that Benjamin is old enough that it is very safe to say he has great parents!
ReplyDelete