Verily, I say unto thee
Come now!
Come and hear the tale of a man named Jedidiah D Clampett, known most commonly as Jed
An impoverished man of the mountains
who could barely keep his family
in proper nutritional sustenance
Lo! One day he was hunting with a weapon
that explosively discharged at a fleeing forest creature
He missed badly, hitting the ground,
and to his startled amazement what did appear?
A bubbling cauldron of crude
A black gold! Oil! The flowing Texas tea that fueled the modern industrial age!
Suddenly, the aging Jedidiah was nouveau riche
Kin of his tribe urged him to move away from his homeland
That the Golden land of California
Was the proper place to locate
So they loaded up their transportational mechanisms
and moved to the village of Beverly
Beverly Hills, to be precise.
Cemented ponds! Cinematic performers!
Y'all are invited to this Ritz locality
To have a heaping good time
With The Beverly Hillbillies, that is.
C'mon in! Sit a spell! Take your footwear off!*
And please
Y'all double-dip and see it twice!
The Beverly Hillbillies!
This here is the cast, y'all. I'd start naming them, but I got spatial and time limitations, and I wouldn't want to leave anybody out. But take my word for it - they're a hard-working, talented bunch who you're gonna love to see.
*Removal of footwear conditional upon signing a waiver of responsibility, and upon said condition and odor of each individual foot involved.
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