Celebrate Good Times
Welcome to the Rusty Scupper!
This was the cheery sign, posted above the door on an old wooden plank, rusty nails holding it place, that greeted Alby Howell, and all other patrons, as they approached Huron’s most popular bar for the up and coming in-crowd.
Alby came in and immediately spotted his group. They cheered and waved wildly, singing “Celebrate Good Times.” It was a spirited rendition, but nothing the original performers, Kool & the Gang, needed to worry about. His friend, Ralphie Damon, was particularly loud and off-key, ranging from bass to tenor on the same phrase.
The décor was like the interior of the galley of a pirate ship, the tables big rectangles, and the seating wooden benches. The group there to celebrate his victory stretched across three large tables, each one with eight to ten of his supporters.
“Get your tuchus over here, Alby!” called out Ralphie. “Let’s get this party started!”
Alby smiled big. It was very encouraging to have such good friends after such a brutal hearing. He sat down at the table with Raiphie and his wife Marissa, a gorgeous blonde of ideal shape and dimensions, who was certainly way better than someone of Ralphie’s pay grade deserved.
Ralphie thumped Alby on the back. “What’ll ya have, Alby? It’s on the house tonight! Well, on our house, Marissa and me!” He motioned to a waitress, dressed in a frilly low cut blouse, exposing her shoulders and about half her cleavage. “C’mere, wench! Get the man of the hour whatever he wants!”
“I’ll take a whiskey sour, thank you,” Alby told the coquettish waitress. She looked young, probably one of the local students from Huron University. He gave her a wink, and she was on her way.
“Where’s Lindsey?” Marissa asked. “I thought she might want to celebrate with us.”
“Not tonight, I’m afraid,” answered Alby. Lindsey was his wife of fifteen years. “She’s exhausted from all the hoopla, and she just wants to spend a quiet night with the kids and get down as early as she can.”
Donna, his legislative assistant, came around from behind and leaned in for a big kiss on the cheek. “Congratulations, Boss! I knew we were going places!” Donna had been with him the entire time he was a state legislator and even dated back to the time he was a school principal in Lapeer. Time had not affected her looks. She was still quite pretty, even if there was a little wrinkling around her eyes and forehead. “I can’t believe they even considered that woman’s charges! Who would know how you treat women better than me? I’ve never known anyone who treats women with more respect than Alby!”
She put her hand on Alby’s shoulder. Then she pointed with her other hand at Freddy. “Well, except for him. And he’s gay!”
Everybody laughed. Alby didn’t think Freddy was gay, but it was funny nonetheless. Freddy blushed, but also grinned slightly, as if he appreciated the fun at his expense.
Another from his staff, Rebecca Dixon, she of vibrant red hair and a chillingly cool body, said, “I hope this helps stop this kind of crap. One woman with false accusations shouldn’t be able to ruin a man’s life. It makes me fear for my sons, and who might come after them!”
“A toast!” shouted Grandy, on of his oldest and dearest friends. “To our friend, Alby! Who knew such a screw-up could end up as the Michigan Secretary of Education! And for his spirited defense of Prince Preparatory Academy! May Alby and the cherished alma mater of many of us, never be dragged through the mud again!”
“Hear! Hear!” everyone shouted.
The party went on. Alby had downed his third whiskey sour, and as hard as tried, he couldn’t stop staring at Marissa. He had to be careful. He didn’t want to give Ralphie even a hint of the past connection between him and Marissa. It was just a brief affair from three years ago. Nothing to ruin friendships over. The only thing that was hard for him is that Marissa was the one who had ended it. Although it took him a while to comprehend, the last time, they were together it finally sunk into him that she didn’t want him to do it anymore. That had made him quite angry, but he thought he had been able to control it quite well.
Grandy plopped down next to him. “What a bunch a bull you had to go through! You didn’t deserve none of that, man! Yeah, we could be rowdy back in the day, but sexual assault? Especially to that raggedy woman? I know you, brother! I don’t think you would have tapped that no matter how desperate you were!”
Alby was a little green around the gills. He stood up. “Excuse me a minute, guys. I gotta go, uh…”
“Take a whiz at the wang palace?” inquired Grandy.
Alby nodded sheepishly.
“You go do your thing, bro. We’ll be here when you get back.”
Thank God men didn’t go to the bathroom in pairs as women do, Alby thought. A thought he would change his mind about very shortly.
He tried. As nauseous as he felt, nothing would come up. He went to the sink and splashed cold water on his face.
Alby heard a clicking sound. He turned toward the sound and saw her. “Wh…what are you doing in here?”
She stood blocking the door; a spray can in her hand. She was heavy-set, short cropped black hair, granny glasses perched on the bridge of her small, pug nose. She didn’t quite look that way in high school. She was thin, petite, long hair down to the small of her back. The glasses were the same, though. The hostile stare was familiar, too.
She said nothing. Alby babbled, “It’s over, you know that? I won. You lost. Your spurious charges failed to affect me. Noe step aside and let me get back to my friends, unless you want a restraining order slapped on you!”
After a long pause, she finally spoke up. “A slap? You would like that, wouldn’t you, you sick, pathetic creep!”
“Now, that’s enough!” Alby barked. “I don’t have to listen to your slimy innuendos anymore! You had your chance to ruin me, and nobody backed you up!”
He took a step towards her. She lifted her spray can. “I’ve got mace, and I know how to use it! I learned at least that much from my experience with you.”
“This is useless. This is getting us nowhere,” he pleaded. “I don’t know what you think happened to you, and I feel bad for whatever you went through to make you do this, but I had absolutely nothing to do with it!”
“You had everything to do with it. And you know it.”
“If there were anything to your story, you would have had witnesses to support you. You would have been able to prove your ugly claim.”
“Prove it? How could I? You and your state government buddies, and you prep school pals, they didn’t want an investigation. They wanted a cover-up. They wanted to humiliate me and make me look crazy.”
Alby snorted a brief laugh. “Yeah. That wasn’t too hard, was it? You’re really helping your case by keeping me in a locked bathroom, aren’t you?”
“Not so crazy,” she replied. “I put up an out of order sign. Of course, maybe if you scream, someone will come to your rescue. Maybe you’ll be more fortunate than I was when I screamed for help.”
Alby’s nausea was multiplying. “Look, I barely know you. We had parties, sure. We had girls from other schools there, sure. And, yeah, I drank sometimes. Sometimes I drank a lot. But I wouldn’t do what you said I did. I just wouldn’t.”
“Really, Albert? That’s what you say now.” She was close to tears. “You’re right about one thing. It’s over. You won. You’re now the State Secretary of Education. Just give me one thing. Please?”
“What?” Alby asked. Right now, all he cared about was ending this chapter of his life, before he spewed puke all over everything.
“Why?” she asked, tears now flowing. “Why did you do that to me? Why did you try to rape me?”
“Dammmit!” Alby raged. “I didn’t try to rape you!”
“You held me down! You were choking me! You were pulling at my clothes! If Grandy hadn’t of come in, you would’ve raped me.”
“For the last time, I didn’t try to rape you!” Alby had lost it. He couldn’t keep it in anymore. “We were just trying…”
“Trying what?”
“We were just to scare you, all right? You were prissy and arrogant and thought you were better than the rest of us. So we planned on scaring you. Grandy and the others were watching and laughing the whole time. His coming in when he did was part of the plan!”
She looked surprised. “You mean, Grandy and others knew about this, and they lied to investigators?”
Alby was now beyond controlling his impulses. “Yeah, you better believe it. Don’t you know the code, you immature ditz? Bros before hoes! You’re still as naïve and prissy as you were in high school. And fat too. Jesus Christ, you let yourself go!”
“Thank you, Albert. This meant more to me than you can imagine.”
“I’ll bet. Now, let me out of here!” He marched toward her. She still stood his way.
“I’m not through yet, Albert. I need to tell you one more thing.”
“I’m not interested. I should have raped you back then. Maybe you’d know your place better now.” He tried to push her aside, but she barely budged. She lifted the spray can, but he knocked it out of her hand. He slapped her hard, and she fell to the floor.
From the floor, she said, in a hesitant croak, “I lied, Albert, about this being over. I’ve recorded this whole thing.”
“You coerced me! Nobody’s going to believe this.” Still, Alby didn’t want to take a chance. He searched her purse and pockets while she lay there, dazed and unresponsive. He found a small tape recorder and crushed it under his foot. “All this for nothing, you stupid cow!”
He started to open the door. She said, in a whisper he barely heard, “Wrong, Albert. Not just an audio.”
When he came back into the galley of the Rusty Scupper, everyone was quiet and staring at him. The young waitress who had earlier served his table, she of the coquettish looks and costume, was holding up a phone, a phone that was playing a video, a video of him pushing down Frances Goodkind, the woman he had just confessed to sexually assaulting.
Good old boy network or not, the Governor would soon be starting his search for a new Secretary of Education.
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