"C'mon,
Race! You took me by surprise is
all. You can't just come up to a dude
out of the blue, and expect him to be all Oprah like. It takes a bit to wrap your brain
around."
"By
surprise? Are you kidding me? You looked shocked, frowned and goosed your
face up like somebody farted broccoli, and then said, 'Damn, Race! I thought you were on the pill or something!'
Yeah, just the kind of romantic response I was dreaming about."
"Look, I
said I was sorry. I'm here now, ain't
I?"
"Are you,
Bobby Ray? Are you? Really and truly? "
"Of
course I am! How can you doubt me?"
"Doubt
you? How could I not? It didn't take you long to cozy up to Susi
Kapok, did it?"
"You
walked away from me! What was I supposed
to do? Become a nun?'
"I don't
think men can be nuns. And low long did
it take for you to move on to Susi? A
millisecond? Or maybe she was already
there!"
"No! She threw herself at me!"
"Oh, this
bodes so well. You're about as faithful
as a wind sock, turning with every new breeze that comes your way. What kind of life would that be?"
"I can't
help it if you walk away and somebody else wants the Bobby Ray Machine."
"That's
disgusting! Especially when you have
somebody you cared for walking around with a bit of 'the Bobby Ray
Machine" inside them."
"Sorry,
Race. Yeah, I didn't think it
through. Tell me what you need,
Race. I want to do right by you."
"Right by
me? Well, that is an interesting way to
phrase it."
"Huh? What do you mean?"
"Never
mind. Look, Bobby Ray, I'm sorry. You can't help being who you are. And I don't have the energy and desire to
change you. Honestly, at first I wanted
your input, your support, but now I don't even care. I'm making up my own mind, and I don't really
expect a damn thing from you."
"What do
you think you're going to do?"
"I don't
know. Every time I think about it, I
come up with a different answer. It
changes from hour to hour, from thought to thought."
"I'll
marry you."
"Ha-ha! Well,
you can poof that from your head. That ain't gonna happen."
"Why
not?"
"Because....I
got plans. Plans to go to school, plans
for a career. Plans that don't have anything
to do with you."
"I'll
support you! I get out of school and I
go to work right away with Delco
Auto Plaza
"Cars
like....? Oh, god, you stole that from a
commercial! I'm going to college on my own.
I don't need your help."
"You're
gonna keep the baby AND go to school?"
"I don't
know if I'm keeping the baby or not. If
I do, I won't be the first woman with a kid there, trust me. If I can afford Georgia
Southern or Valdosta , I'll start off at Waycross College
"Wait,
Race! Georgia Georgia and Alabama
"I...don't
think so, Bobby Ray. I...just don't
think so."
Why not,
Race? C'mon! It's a great idea!"
"No, I'm
sorry. It isn't a good idea."
"Why"
"Because...I....I...I
just don't love you anymore."
"You...you
don't mean it! You know I love
you!"
"I know
right this minute you think you do. But
I'm talking about a lifetime. And I
don't think I can do that. I don't think
I can spend a lifetime with you."
"That
can't be. You're just angry, is
all. You get your head clear, and you'll
feel different."
"No.....I'm
sorry. I don't think so."
"Well. I'll do anything. Keep that in mind. You decide to, well, you know, I'll get you money
for that. I got some savings. I don't mind using a little bit of it."
"You mean
an abortion? No, that's off the table
now. I mean, when Pastor Dan and New
life came at me, it flashed through me in a moment of anger and weakness to
have one, because I didn't want those fanatics telling me what to do. It was MY decision, not theirs! But I calmed down and realized that not
having one was truly my decision. What I
can't decide is to give it up for adoption or keep it. That's what I keep trying to figure out.
Every second I think I've decided, the next second I change my mind. And I'm not trying to be mean, Bobby Ray, but
you can't be a part of that decision."
"Ok. I...please, just know, I'm here if you need
me, baby. For reals."
"Thank
you, Bobby Ray. And please don't call me
baby. I really don't feel like I'm the
baby anymore."
"Got it,
sweetcheeks."
"Hands
off, Bobby Ray!"
"Sorry,
beautiful. Can't help myself."
"Oh, God,
Bobby Ray! What am I gonna do with you?
"
"How
about......this?'
"No!"
"Hey! Don't run off!"
-------------------------------
My Distant
Princess
by Adam Garnett
Though the
very forests rage against me
Though the
foggy swamps separate thee
From the warm
embrace of my unending love
I will find my
way to your heart above
I will slay
the dragons that make you fear
In my thoughts
and prayers I will keep you near
I will stand
with you against all onslaught
Your faith in
my devotion will never be for naught
Even as you
grow with someone else's seed
I promise from
me you will never be in need
I will be
always there to love you true
I will always
be there to rescue you
-------------------------------
Diary Entry,
December 7
He came to the
Honey Dew again today. He is still
mooning over her! And her pregnant with
Bobby Ray's baby! I try to be sweet, but
he looks right through me. Like he
expects her to come back in at any minute.
I wish he wasn't so cute. I wish he
wasn't so smart. I've seen his scribbled
writings. I wish he would write me that
way.
Crackers! I have to stop this! I'm better than this, I swears! Why can't I be interested in somebody
else? That Lester Bateman was making
eyes at me, in that goofy Ghost Squad of my brother's. I don't want to put on airs. Honestly, though, I can put up with him being
a janitor, and even, god help me, a
redneck. But him being bone stupid? Call me fussy, but I just can't put up with
that.
Maybe I do
need to go out with somebody, though.
Just to shake this obsession with Adam Garnett out a bit. But who?
Ugh! There is a downside to small
town living. Too few really good men and
too many small town boys.
Oh, well. Like Scarlett says, "Oh, Fiddledeedee!
Tomorrow is another day!" Well,
something like that.
Goodnight,
dear diary!
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