It's true.
I often get discouraged with my efforts to write.
It is especially hard now as the submarine stays down in it's murky depths, and it becomes harder and harder to do or think of anything else besides tax season. Projects and ideas for projects come into my head, and then flee before I can do anything about them. Other move like a river of molasses that has bee slowed by wet cement.
I wake up in the morning, and the little time I have squirreled away to write is taken up by thoughts of what I'm facing at work, or with just a blank stare, a mind devoid of coherent thought.
Then I see a quote posted on Facebook, from a friend, Bemis Fox'is -
“Go into the arts. I’m not kidding. The arts are not a way to make a living. They are a very human way of making life more bearable. Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow , for heaven’s sake. Sing in the shower. Dance to the radio. Tell stories. Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem. Do it as well as you possibly can. You will get an enormous reward. You will have created something.”
No, unfortunately, there is no attribution given. But it is a marvelous sentiment. And one of the major reasons I will go on acting and writing regardless.
But still, there is the drive to do well enough that I could leave the realm of accounting, or at least downshift it more. And as much impetus as there is to dismiss the value of recognition, I can't help but desire at least a little. There is no doubt that I enjoy performing for performance's sake, of inhabiting a different character and bringing him to life, but yes, I also love the applause at the end.
Recently, I have had thoughts to abandon my goal of writing as a foolish waste of time. But I don't think I can. I think it is too deep a part of me to leave now.
It feels like the molasses stream is getting too much, and then I will see on Wattpad people praising my stories whom I don't know, who have never met me, some who live on the other side of the world. Someone even commented how they had been anxiously awaiting the next chapter in my story.
I don't have an audience of one, although sometimes it seems like that.
I don't have an audience of many, so plugging away at Accounting must continue.
I do have an audience of some, and for now, that feels pretty darn good.
I'm not going to quit.
I'm just going to get a more durable paddle as I work my way up the Molasses River.
It is "The Molasses Swamp", in the game. Writing for yourself is like breathing. You can change it with regular exercise, just the same. When you write for someone else, you put your piece on their game board. What happens to it, depends on where you land, and upon the paces of the pieces of other players. It is about the right place, at the right time, more than anything, well, except for fate. I am due to be nothing as a writer, unless, I die spectacularly. I accept my posthumous Noble or Pulitzer, at this time. You will do better, because you have chosen to.
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ReplyDeleteThank you. I do enjoy writing, and will continue regardless. Acting is a joy for me, not only because it puts me in an artistic zone, but I love the applause. I love the instant credit you get from an audience. Writing, the applause and credit is somewhat more elusive. It's something I have to keep in mind. Recognition, if any, may not be instantaneous, but greatly delayed. As in my To Crown A King story, it took some thirty five years before I got the satisfaction of watching my son and his teenage friends become inspired by it. The big question about writing, is not whether I enjoy it or will continue to do it (it's baked in now), but whether it will be a contributor in assisting me move on to the next phase (post accounting), or if it will only be a hobby.
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