Rolodexing Friendship

Friendship is not a Rolodex.

Don't get me wrong.  I understand the value of networking.  I really do.  It is good to have friends that you can help you get the hookups you need.

Need a plumber?  You may have a friend who has a cousin who knows a plumber who might be married to a sister of the cousin's brother-in-law.

Need a job?  The best way is to have a friend who can call friends in places that may be looking for work. A personal call beats a resume and application all to Sunday and back.

Suddenly they know a movie producer, or an actor on a ?V show. or  someone in virtually any city you want to go.

And then you think.....are you part of the Rolodex?  When they don't call you for awhile, and then the next time you hear from them, they chat for a few seconds, as if you're close, and then ask an accounting or tax question, and/or refer you to someone else with a question or concern.

It can be nice to have the business connection, although 99.9% of this is done for free and does not lead to paying clients.  Sometimes you get questions that are way beyond your scope of knowledge, and it can be depressing to admit you don't know the answer. Or if they rely on your advice and things go badly for them, you fell responsible.

There's nothing wrong with any of this.  It's hard to imagine the world working without it.

But sometimes it can feel a little...empty.

It's nice to have a friend to talk to, without having to worry about what slot on the Rolodex you fall into.  To talk about things that don't lead anywhere.  About family or kids or job frustrations or church or politics or whatever the cat drug in that night.  It's nice to be vulnerable and open and not worry about where you fit into the Rolodex.  To have a friendship that connects on a deeper level than networked commerce.

No, nothing specific has happened to me.  Just been thinking about it for awhile.  Just thinking about those friendships you had when you were young that seemed to defy categories.  Friendships because you were you and not because of what you did, or how you could fill a slot on a Rolodex.

Treasure all your friendships.  But if you have one that is your friend who is your friend and doesn't care what you do for a living and/or hobby but does care who you are as a person, someone who calls you just to talk to you to see how you're doing and not just to 'network' you, treasure that most of all.